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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

1000 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Imonmyownhere · 22/09/2026 17:50

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:47

Yes, I will give it a rest. Apologies. I wish you a lovely time on your date, but just don't make him the be-all and end-all, OK? Not until significant time has passed, you've built up trust, and he's proved himself.

I'm sure OP doesn't need telling about this at this stage of her life! 😂

TheSmallAssassin · 22/09/2026 17:50

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:46

What? Where did I say she shouldn't meet him? I'm saying it's too early to get this excited and invested.

I have noticed a general allergy to common sense in today's world, though.

There is no evidence that the poster is overly excited or invested. She's sounded pretty much down to earth to me. Go back and read just the OP's comments. She had a nice time, she's up for having a nice time again, she will see where it goes.

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:50

user1464187087 · 22/09/2026 17:48

That seems to sum you up quite well. At least as you come across in your posts. I like your username though because im 4 foot 11.

😆 I can't imagine insulting other people so much for having common sense, but as long as it makes you happy, I'm happy to be insulted!

The b word for a woman is also something I never, ever use. Talk about vicious. But you're behind that usage, so....you do do, I guess.

cartagenagina · 22/09/2026 17:51

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:47

Yes, I will give it a rest. Apologies. I wish you a lovely time on your date, but just don't make him the be-all and end-all, OK? Not until significant time has passed, you've built up trust, and he's proved himself.

Have you got that OP? Try not to make him the “be all and end all” 🙄

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/09/2026 17:52

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:44

Excellent addition to the insults list, thank you.

So, for pointing out that we should not set such store by a stranger, and others who counselled caution, we currently stand at

Miserable cynical man-hating bitch
Negative dried-up old shrews
Bitter x 10
Unhinged
Hate men and women
Misandrist
Fruit loops
Emotionally unintelligent

Yes you’re absolutely right. You and a few others are right and most people are wrong and OP is a damn fool.

I think you are so right that you could actually start your own thread with all your wisdom on it, so we know where to find you. Don’t waste your pearls of wisdom here.

Is that better?

———————————————————————————————

@BigSpongyHelmet I think some of us might need to know how this all pans out please! And I’m very happy for you both that you have no self respect and texted him 😁.

And how is it in that area between Leeds and Manchester? Is it quiet? Rowdy? Do you feel like it’s the countryside or are you always aware the cities are close by? It looks really nice, but I’m basing that on Google maps, I’ve never been there.

Mummyduckplusduckling · 22/09/2026 17:53

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:10

A little update, we've just had a quick voice call as I'm at work on lunch, and we have a date in the diary for very soon. He's going to come to Manchester and has booked a hotel for 2 nights...first night meet for drinks/dinner, second day (if it goes well), go for a yomp in a country park type place, lunch, drinks and then play the evening by ear.

Sounds terrible doesn't it

You mean you’re going for a romp in a country park, right 😉

BewareTheGurus · 22/09/2026 17:58

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 16:03

Seems a bit extreme, how would he have "done any sort of ID theft on me...."? We only swapped first names, I don't have access to his social media

Urm, can I ask which bank he works for? I had a similar experience recently.

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 18:00

Getting this excited? Am I? Yes I'm looking forward to seeing him but I don't believe I'm getting this excited

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 18:00

BewareTheGurus · 22/09/2026 17:58

Urm, can I ask which bank he works for? I had a similar experience recently.

Lol, no

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 18:02

Mummyduckplusduckling · 22/09/2026 17:53

You mean you’re going for a romp in a country park, right 😉

Never say never

OP posts:
Lollipop81 · 22/09/2026 18:03

You’re way overthinking this. Just message him asking how he is, if he got back ok etc. if he doesn’t message back his loss. Stop putting too much thought into it. Good luck.

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 18:04

Lollipop81 · 22/09/2026 18:03

You’re way overthinking this. Just message him asking how he is, if he got back ok etc. if he doesn’t message back his loss. Stop putting too much thought into it. Good luck.

RFTF!!!!

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 18:04

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:50

😆 I can't imagine insulting other people so much for having common sense, but as long as it makes you happy, I'm happy to be insulted!

The b word for a woman is also something I never, ever use. Talk about vicious. But you're behind that usage, so....you do do, I guess.

Have a valium, love. And maybe a lie down as well.

ThisBlondeGirl · 22/09/2026 18:05

Ahh I’m so invested in this - please update us once you’ve had your date! Have an AMAZING time ❤️

Lollipop81 · 22/09/2026 18:08

Lollipop81 · 22/09/2026 18:03

You’re way overthinking this. Just message him asking how he is, if he got back ok etc. if he doesn’t message back his loss. Stop putting too much thought into it. Good luck.

Just read your updates. So pleased you are meeting him, hope it works out for you. Definitely drop the overthinking and just go with the flow.

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 18:08

Lollipop81 · 22/09/2026 18:08

Just read your updates. So pleased you are meeting him, hope it works out for you. Definitely drop the overthinking and just go with the flow.

Overthinking?

OP posts:
Winetime00 · 22/09/2026 18:09

You have to follow up...just to know. Just keep it casual and neutral...hi, hope you made it home ok and not missing the sun too much...smiley face...something along those lines... life's too short..good luck!

Nevergoingthereagain · 22/09/2026 18:09

So hope it all works out - have fun

Anonymousfivetrillion · 22/09/2026 18:09

I initially started a long post to all the naysayers, but fuck it, I can’t be bothered. The op is not 15. She’s a 52 year old woman and this isn’t her first rodeo. Why do so many posters seem to think she’s an idiot?

I hope you have a great date weekend op and that the sun shines for your yomp!

NameWithChange · 22/09/2026 18:11

God! Some of these comments 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ Happy for you @BigSpongyHelmet You sound like a very sane and lovely person who just needed a little positive encouragement - I’m glad you found it amongst all the paranoid, mad ramblings here!

crossing everything you have a lovely date and more. 💖

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 18:12

Nevergoingthereagain · 22/09/2026 18:09

So hope it all works out - have fun

Edited

Erm, may i politely suggest you RTFT

OP posts:
Efrogwraig · 22/09/2026 18:14

Great news. Enjoy!

Damnloginpopup · 22/09/2026 18:16

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 14:54

Yeah a yomp to me is a bit more than a flat walk, maybe a bit off road, through woods possibly. Tatton Park would be a good example if you don't walk down the road right through the middle of the park

Nah. So a yomp is the Marine equivalent to the Para's tab. Tab is Tactical Advance to Battle. So a long, solid, route march. To Port Stanley.

Enjoy 😁

Washingupdone · 22/09/2026 18:17

Wishing you well on your ‘first’ date on English soil with him.

Maybe, don’t drink so much, so you can remember how it went afterwards.

LeftieRightsHoarder · 22/09/2026 18:17

LifeTakeTwo · 21/09/2026 14:09

Message him!

If he doesn't reply then who cares, you'll never see him again anyway.

If he dies reply positively then win win

You don't ask you don't get.

This, 100%. If he doesn’t reply just forget him. You’ve nothing to lose.
Best of luck.

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