Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

[BigSpongyHelmet]

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

@JustWalnut sounds very bitter and miserable. Let others have their Joy ok?

Ahhhh, just checked back into this thread....very cheering updates from the OP. Hope you have a fab date, and it's the start of something excellent.

OP says they had a little call bc she was on lunch. So she probably called him - not that it matters. I do actually wish OP a nice date, but my point is that no one should be this excited this early about a man. In her shoes I'd have forgotten about him unless I heard from him, not making angsty threads on MN and following up with him. The men in my life know full well that they don't have that kind of power over me and that the quality of our relationship doesn't affect my basic happiness and enjoyment of life as I'd just get rid if they were trouble. And they LOVE that attitude.

Thank you for your contribution Sister Mary Fun Sponge.

She's looking forward to seeing him again, she's not hinging her basic happiness and enjoyment of life on him.

My goodness, you sound like a broken record! The OP herself sounds lovely. The bloke in question has not put anything on here as far as we know. Who are your posts aimed at? It sounds like you hate men and women equally. And I don't know why.

At this stage, men are simply "She hot. Maybe me get sex."

@CrazyMidget

Maybe try and meet some better people.

How on earth do you read "I hope it all works out" as planning a wedding?

My point all the way through has been how we get over-excited about a man for doing the bare minimum and how it sets us up for diappointment, so we should not set such store by someone we spent 48 hours with. This is an extremely wise and sensible viewpoint. The insults to me and others sounding a note of caution have been;

Bitter x 10
Negative dried-up old shrews
Unhinged
Hate men and women
Misandrist
Fruit loops
Emotionally unintelligent
A few more but I can't remember without looking back over the thread

For injecting some common sense, the insulters sound like a bunch of kids who've had their toys taken away!

Hold men up as the greatest source of happiness if you want, but that has worked out badly for a lot of women.

You sound like you've been let down by an awful lot of men. OP has given this man no power over her. Most women would get rid of the men in their life if they were trouble, you seem to just be stating the obvious.

It sounds marvellous! I can't wait and it's not even me that's going :-).
Good luck.

Why does it matter to you who called who?

And 'no one should be this excited this early about a man' is bollocks imho. I knew when I first laid eyes on dh that I'd marry him. Our first chat sounds very like op's first meeting, just yarning on about anything and everything until the early hours. That was 30 years ago and guess what? Still together.

Stop trying to rain on @BigSpongyHelmet's parade.

Actually, I take back my comment about being a 5 year old girl getting all giddy at the thought of romance and whirling round like little princesses because what is wrong with that, anyway?

It's basic human nature and biology.

Honestly, I love your approach, too. Before my 1st date with my now partner of 7 years, I had the mindset that it may become something significant or it may not, in which case, we both love history so we could be companions. And he would be a nice addition to my happy single life. He did become the fish and chips as well as the tomato sauce, which was great. But, equally, the alternative would have been great as well.

I disagree with your sentence about men only seeing sex before a first date. It makes me wonder what kind of men you know. Both my exH and my current partner were all in, quite soon in. I was in my late 20's when I met my exH so we have a conversation quite early on to establish how we felt about marriage and children. He wanted children as much as I did (as is a fantastic father).

I don't want the part of feminism that thinks that I can't be a woman who dreams of romance. I have never wanted that. God made me a girl and a woman and part of that for me, is swirling around my bedroom in a pretty frock and dreaming of romance. I mean, I don't do that obviously but I could if I wanted to and would not think any less of anyone else who did.

FWIW he called me as he knew what time I was having lunch. Hope that's ok

Your third sentence just isn't true. People get attached.

I'm very much my own person, so I can't understand getting this excited over a stranger. But I will see myself out and stop spoiling the atmosphere of febrile anticipation!

HE DID WHAT?!! How dare he! It's romance fraud! 😀
Only joking. I hope you have a great first date.

Do you think this guy is Tarzan?

I genuinely thought I was a miserable cynical man hating bitch until I read these updates.

No idea wtf some posters are on OP but you go meet him and have a great time.

Great post! I probably sound like I'm Hattie Jacques, but actually I'm super-feminine and I LOVE SPARKLES!

He did become the fish and chips as well as the tomato sauce, which was great.

THIS! That's the whole point - he BECAME the fish and chips, over time. Not when you'd known him for 48 hours!

I really must go and stop spoiling it.

MOST I said. You seem to think you're soooo much better than the rest of us, you're not.

Yes i think you've made your point, can you please kindly now go away as i for one am sick of you banging on. Give a bloody rest ffs

How the fuck is OP supposed to find out if this is going to work out or not if she doesn't meet him? You are one of the most infuriating posters I've ever come across on here and I've been here years.

Excellent addition to the insults list, thank you.

So, for pointing out that we should not set such store by a stranger, and others who counselled caution, we currently stand at

Miserable cynical man-hating bitch
Negative dried-up old shrews
Bitter x 10
Unhinged
Hate men and women
Misandrist
Fruit loops
Emotionally unintelligent

What? Where did I say she shouldn't meet him? I'm saying it's too early to get this excited and invested.

I have noticed a general allergy to common sense in today's world, though.

Yes, I will give it a rest. Apologies. I wish you a lovely time on your date, but just don't make him the be-all and end-all, OK? Not until significant time has passed, you've built up trust, and he's proved himself.

That seems to sum you up quite well. At least as you come across in your posts. I like your username though because im 4 foot 11.

They're ALL Tarzan, at least at first.