Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

[BigSpongyHelmet]

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

Negative, dried up old shrews wishing the worst.

Hmm, dried up old shrew here absolutely rooting for OP. Teeny bit of ageist misogyny in that statement. I wouldn't assume all the negativity on Mumsnet comes from the oldies. Equal opportunities shittiness seems to rule on here.

Good luck OP, and if this one isn't for you, the one that is, won't go by you. There's nothing wrong in taking a risk and even if it doesn't pay off, no shame in having had a try.

Another dried up old shrew rooting for the OP. I hope she has an absolutely brilliant time, with everything she wishes for.

Is your intended’s mother on the scene? Because she’ll make your life a misery. And his sister’s probably jealous and he’s got horrible young adult children who only talk to him for money. And his dog’s a chihuahua.

@BigSpongyHelmet so pleased at your update. Feeling nicely reminded that love can happen when over 21, I know you're not in love yet for those who'll get their knickers in a twist, but it is nice to have the possibility there. Reminds me of my chap. Miss him.

Bit surprised no one remembers Somerville though.

Why?

💯 I had the exact same a couple of weeks ago when I had the audacity to post a thread saying that I liked how I looked and that I liked male attention. You'd have thought I'd murdered their grandmothers! People were so bitter and angry. These are the women you would back slowly away from if you encountered them in real life.

@Bargarran Dried up old shrews? Wtf what a horrible misogynist comment to make.

Please remember this is a forum where the op asked a question and people are allowed to give their opinion.

@BigSpongyHelmet Would you mind if I asked you for some advice?

I met a lovely bloke when I was on holiday in 1981, my first week but his second so he went home halfway through my holiday. We did say we'd get in touch when I was back, so do you think it's worth trying to contact him now? I can't remember his name though - would that be a problem?😁

Maybe because I clicked on the link from the email Mumsnet sends? I have no idea why it didn’t all show but it definitely didn’t.

Hope it goes well OP, look forward to an update!

A voice call?! I can't believe he had the audacity to assume he could claim your time in such a way! And a potential two day date?
Definitely trying to completely take over your life as PP suspected, don't let him lead you to a secluded corner on your yomp and make sure he's not carrying any sort of digging implement....

You can see the time and date the OP first posted, though? And that that was some time ago?

You're right. Threads like this bring out a really weird set of people. It's like they're talking to us from a different era.

It's all like, the shame of it!!! Type of vibes.

What about an actual bet?

Odds decided depending on how many think he is
Married
Not married but likes to dress up in nappies and wants women to powder his bottom
Good company and decent but ultimately a bit wet
Kind, decent and fabulous in bed
Hilarious, adventurous and dead rich

To take part all everyone has to do is lay their bet, declare how much they want to bet, and sign a Direct Debit agreement to me so that I can take bets and distribute winnings 🙂

You get those "cruel to be kind" types who point out the worst. Sometimes I don't think they mean to be nasty. Just giving it from all sides. I for one had THE WORST luck before I met my partner. Used, money taken and never returned, cheated on, and maybe I worked hard to overcome it but I made sure I didn't end up bitter and am rooting hard for OP!

@LondonLass2026

Glad life is much happier for you these days.

Thank you sweetheart x

I’m excited to hear how the date goes @BigSpongyHelmet✨💫💕

Op, I hope you have a wonderful time! I mean, its sheer crazy that you've met someone the old fashioned way. How dare you. Obviously he could be an absolute shit BUT he could also be absolutely genuine and how would you ever know if you didn't try.

Please keep us updated on the date ❤️

Rude.

But true ..

Yay! Sounds perfect ☺️

Lots of people have said on this thread "I hope it all works out." As in, they hope he's her next husband. She doesn't even know him!! Again, can you imagine men reacting this way? At this stage, men are simply "She hot. Maybe me get sex." While the women are planning the sodding wedding! Why do we set such store by men to make us happy? Now OP will be all disappointed if the date doesn't happen, or if it's not very good. Why do we worship men like this, whyyyyy??? He replied to a text message after he didn't contact OP for ages. That's IT. All the excitement on this thread is premature and is a great example of how men are lauded and respected for doing the bare minimum.

One day when you are in a better place, re-read the OP and your responses. You might see just how OTT and unhinged you are coming across.