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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

1000 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 14:52

Some brilliant responses once again, thanks for the laughs.

To the poster who mentioned what to wear, hadn't even thought of that...now it's all I can think about 😆

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 14:54

Purplebunnie · 22/09/2026 13:54

I've always understood yomp as just going for a walk, perhaps more energetic than a stroll on a tarmacked path. If I were to go for a walk on say Dartmoor (wish) I would say I'm going for a yomp.

In fact I now want to go for a walk on Dartmoor, it's a glorious sunny day here but sadly the sun would be set the time I got there 😭

Edited to say completely missed the point. Glad he's made contact and enjoy your date

Edited

Yeah a yomp to me is a bit more than a flat walk, maybe a bit off road, through woods possibly. Tatton Park would be a good example if you don't walk down the road right through the middle of the park

OP posts:
SweetForce · 22/09/2026 14:54

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:10

A little update, we've just had a quick voice call as I'm at work on lunch, and we have a date in the diary for very soon. He's going to come to Manchester and has booked a hotel for 2 nights...first night meet for drinks/dinner, second day (if it goes well), go for a yomp in a country park type place, lunch, drinks and then play the evening by ear.

Sounds terrible doesn't it

Poor @JustWalnut looks like she has lost a tenner 😏

Pleased for you OP. Hope it works out!

sonjadog · 22/09/2026 14:55

Sounds like a good first meet up back home. I hope you have fun, and even if you don't end up with a romance, it will be fun meeting someone new and stepping back into the dating game.

I wonder if some of the negative-comments are from posters who take things very literally. So when they read about weddings and hats, they actually think people are planning that. They don't understand that that is an expression of enthusiasm and that people are enjoying hearing about this.

No-one, including the OP, is actually planning a wedding right now.

nomas · 22/09/2026 14:56

Joloman74 · 22/09/2026 14:20

Message him! If you dont you will forever be tortured with what ifs. If he doesn't message you back then you will know he isnt interested and you wont see him again so youve no need to feel embarrassed! Good luck!

I am getting forever tortured by the lack of RTFT.

Hiding thread now.

CookingForCats · 22/09/2026 14:56

Ariel896 · 22/09/2026 12:52

We’ve probably all been with a dickhead at some point over our lives, but why can’t we just let OP enjoy this! FFS!

Well yes, if he turns out to be a tosser then OP will call time on it I'm sure.

Goatsarebest · 22/09/2026 14:58

You're not going to ask for advice are you?
It won't end well.

user1464187087 · 22/09/2026 14:58

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 14:52

Some brilliant responses once again, thanks for the laughs.

To the poster who mentioned what to wear, hadn't even thought of that...now it's all I can think about 😆

I would message him OP, you might regret it otherwise.😀
Only joking, I've read the whole thread and I'm pleased for you.
You have been patient on this thread, more so than me.
Enjoy your date. x

SylvanMoon · 22/09/2026 14:59

sonjadog · 22/09/2026 14:55

Sounds like a good first meet up back home. I hope you have fun, and even if you don't end up with a romance, it will be fun meeting someone new and stepping back into the dating game.

I wonder if some of the negative-comments are from posters who take things very literally. So when they read about weddings and hats, they actually think people are planning that. They don't understand that that is an expression of enthusiasm and that people are enjoying hearing about this.

No-one, including the OP, is actually planning a wedding right now.

That's not exactly true. The OP has engaged me already looking for wedding venues between Manchester and Leeds, and I believe another poster is tasked with finding the perfect dress for @BigSpongyHelmet to wear. We're sworn to secrecy, of course, but I believe the date is sometime before the end of the year. 👯

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 15:03

Goatsarebest · 22/09/2026 14:58

You're not going to ask for advice are you?
It won't end well.

F*ck no!

OP posts:
SweetForce · 22/09/2026 15:03

sonjadog · 22/09/2026 14:55

Sounds like a good first meet up back home. I hope you have fun, and even if you don't end up with a romance, it will be fun meeting someone new and stepping back into the dating game.

I wonder if some of the negative-comments are from posters who take things very literally. So when they read about weddings and hats, they actually think people are planning that. They don't understand that that is an expression of enthusiasm and that people are enjoying hearing about this.

No-one, including the OP, is actually planning a wedding right now.

Exactly. I think it is a lack of emotional intelligence or as you say, people who only interpret things literally.

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 15:03

SylvanMoon · 22/09/2026 14:59

That's not exactly true. The OP has engaged me already looking for wedding venues between Manchester and Leeds, and I believe another poster is tasked with finding the perfect dress for @BigSpongyHelmet to wear. We're sworn to secrecy, of course, but I believe the date is sometime before the end of the year. 👯

Ffs I asked you ro keep it quiet

OP posts:
Goatsarebest · 22/09/2026 15:04

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 15:03

F*ck no!

That's a relief😂

MyArtfulGreySloth · 22/09/2026 15:08

Good luck! I’d put money on him being married though.

Unicorn1984 · 22/09/2026 15:12

I’ve been following this since you first posted. I am SO glad that he responded and you are meeting up! It sounds like a genuine connection and you seem like a fab woman. Good luck and PLEASE keep all of us positive posters updated!
ignore the haters! #behappy xx

FannybygaslightinGovan · 22/09/2026 15:13

MyArtfulGreySloth · 22/09/2026 15:08

Good luck! I’d put money on him being married though.

You cannot be fucking serious 😂😂

FromaBubblegumTree · 22/09/2026 15:19

Joloman74 · 22/09/2026 14:20

Message him! If you dont you will forever be tortured with what ifs. If he doesn't message you back then you will know he isnt interested and you wont see him again so youve no need to feel embarrassed! Good luck!

@Joloman74

It really isn't the OP who should be embarrassed.

Pinkbunny333 · 22/09/2026 15:20

I love this thread! Life’s is too short to be left with regrets- go for it! Good luck op, hope it goes amazingly well and you have a future together- keep us all posted ❤️

LondonLass2026 · 22/09/2026 15:20

MyArtfulGreySloth · 22/09/2026 15:08

Good luck! I’d put money on him being married though.

Why? What gives you that idea?

FromaBubblegumTree · 22/09/2026 15:21

Speckly · 22/09/2026 14:39

I had done that thanks 🙄 She hadn’t posted anymore so I was asking her direct if she’d post an update.

Well then your MN is broken.

OP had provided numerous updates before you posted. Are you really saying that you couldn't see any of them?

PinkEasterbunny · 22/09/2026 15:23

MyArtfulGreySloth · 22/09/2026 15:08

Good luck! I’d put money on him being married though.

Why????

Good to hear your update OP, I find Chat GPT quite helpful when I don't know what to wear.

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 15:26

MyArtfulGreySloth · 22/09/2026 15:08

Good luck! I’d put money on him being married though.

Oh yea of little faith!

Just why would you assume that?

@BigSpongyHelmet make sure you bring condoms, you may run out in his supply only 😉

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 15:29

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 15:03

Ffs I asked you ro keep it quiet

Some MNs are indiscreet, you can tell me all!

curliegirlie · 22/09/2026 15:34

pilates · 21/09/2026 17:04

Just being honest. It’s horrible to read people egging op on to message. Like I said I hope he comes back to you.

Nooooo! In 2026 why the fuck can’t the woman message? Why/how does it indicate a lack of self respect to not wait for the bloke to recontact?

I was the one to call after meeting my now DH….and here we are 25 years and 3 kids later…

MegJoBethandAmytoo · 22/09/2026 15:38

Is the negativity simply jealousy? I don't understand it. This really is a new level of MN craziness.

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