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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

1000 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Ariel896 · 22/09/2026 12:52

We’ve probably all been with a dickhead at some point over our lives, but why can’t we just let OP enjoy this! FFS!

SweetForce · 22/09/2026 12:53

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 10:25

Good GOD. Is no one able to understand a metaphor? When your brains have turned from pink mush back into normal functioning, perhaps you might be able to hold in mind the explanation for the metaphor that was included after said metaphor. Basically that they're nice to have but not having them doesn't ruin enjoyment of a meal. In this metaphor, the condiment is romance and the meal is life. It was a way of saying that we shouldn't be so focused on men unless they really prove themselves. WAS THAT NOT BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS?? What on earth did you think I meant? To spell out the metaphor so that there is no further confusion, it means that romance can be a nice addition to life but that life is just as enjoyable without it.

I don't think I'll try using metaphors again here - at least not while everyone's still weak at the knees. It's like a Barbara Cartland novel in here. Oh, to be a man! I wish I had the power to make a dozen men go nuts just by replying to a text message. I CANNOT IMAGINE a thread of men thrilling with delight and mentioning weddings because a woman texted back! And saying how amazing it is and how wonderful that it all worked out....because she REPLIED to a TEXT!

This man-worship for doing so little is just nauseating. Did our forbears burn their bras for nothing? Germaine Greer would be APPALLED. Emily Davison would be all "I threw myself in front of the king's horse...for this?"

Any man worth his salt would have continued to communicate after OP left the holiday. It's 2026 and is extremely easy to do. There was a big gap between saying goodbye and being in touch again...which only happened because OP texted.

Proceed with caution. And don't give him too much thought. Think about him only if he actually gives you a reason to think about him.

I think you need to calm down. There has been some gentle, good-humoured enthusiasm for the OP, that’s all. Your misogynistic rant is misplaced here. It reeks of a lack of emotional intelligence and possibly some insecurities.

I am a similar age to the OP and have recently celebrated my silver wedding anniversary. I am no naive simpleton. I wish her all the luck in the world.

SweetForce · 22/09/2026 13:00

JustWalnut · 22/09/2026 11:56

It's unlikely she misremembered the day he said he was flying home.
It's extremely unlikely that he had "just landed" when she happened to message him on a different day.
A tenner says they're never meeting up.

a tenner says they're never meeting up.

I am so glad I have don’t have friends like this!

SweetForce · 22/09/2026 13:02

user1464187087 · 22/09/2026 12:37

I think some people on here sound so entrenched in bitterness that they couldn't possibly be happy or show compassion for a fellow human being.

They genuinely don’t want this to work out for the OP. Tragic mentality!

dogsaremybusiness · 22/09/2026 13:03

That's so lovely you live near each other! Maybe it was meant to be? Similar thing happened to my eternally single friend recently, and it's going great guns.

Sometimes you have to put yourself out there. I like this saying :

"The Ship is safe in the Harbour, but that's not what Ships are for"

FromaBubblegumTree · 22/09/2026 13:04

Speckly · 22/09/2026 09:23

Any news?

Why don't you read the thread and find out?

You can click "see all" on the OP (or the little filter icon if you are on the app).

havingdoubtsnow · 22/09/2026 13:09

Have a fabulous time and well done on putting yourself out and not being scared to take a chance

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:10

A little update, we've just had a quick voice call as I'm at work on lunch, and we have a date in the diary for very soon. He's going to come to Manchester and has booked a hotel for 2 nights...first night meet for drinks/dinner, second day (if it goes well), go for a yomp in a country park type place, lunch, drinks and then play the evening by ear.

Sounds terrible doesn't it

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 22/09/2026 13:10

Well I for one hope it works out Flowers

the world needs more love 🥰

OP, have a brilliant time with him. You live close enough there’s no reason it would get in the way.

FromaBubblegumTree · 22/09/2026 13:10

@BigSpongyHelmet

I hope you have a lovely time together.

There are some posters on this thread with a fucking dismal view of life. It appears that their entire circle of family/friends is populated by knuckle dragging, mouth breathing abusers who wouldn't know what a normal relationship is if they fell over it.

Lurkingandlearning · 22/09/2026 13:10

I really hope you keep us updated. I’m hoping this goes well for you. But to appease all the naysayers, if you do go to see him don’t forget your nun chucks

ReadBooksMorons · 22/09/2026 13:12

Brilliant, good luck! It will be great.

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:12

Lurkingandlearning · 22/09/2026 13:10

I really hope you keep us updated. I’m hoping this goes well for you. But to appease all the naysayers, if you do go to see him don’t forget your nun chucks

Grin
OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:12

LaurieFairyCake · 22/09/2026 13:10

Well I for one hope it works out Flowers

the world needs more love 🥰

OP, have a brilliant time with him. You live close enough there’s no reason it would get in the way.

❤️

OP posts:
BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:13

FromaBubblegumTree · 22/09/2026 13:10

@BigSpongyHelmet

I hope you have a lovely time together.

There are some posters on this thread with a fucking dismal view of life. It appears that their entire circle of family/friends is populated by knuckle dragging, mouth breathing abusers who wouldn't know what a normal relationship is if they fell over it.

❤️

OP posts:
ErlingHaalandsManBun · 22/09/2026 13:13

Awww sounds lush!

Have fun 😊

whyayepetal · 22/09/2026 13:17

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:10

A little update, we've just had a quick voice call as I'm at work on lunch, and we have a date in the diary for very soon. He's going to come to Manchester and has booked a hotel for 2 nights...first night meet for drinks/dinner, second day (if it goes well), go for a yomp in a country park type place, lunch, drinks and then play the evening by ear.

Sounds terrible doesn't it

Yes OP. Absolutely shocking - what an awful way to spend your time…..😆

SylvanMoon · 22/09/2026 13:17

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:10

A little update, we've just had a quick voice call as I'm at work on lunch, and we have a date in the diary for very soon. He's going to come to Manchester and has booked a hotel for 2 nights...first night meet for drinks/dinner, second day (if it goes well), go for a yomp in a country park type place, lunch, drinks and then play the evening by ear.

Sounds terrible doesn't it

Ooh, dodgy, a country park. Could be dark corners there where he'll turn into the axe murderer and bury you without a trace. I'd be sure to bring your police guard dog that can restrain him with his lethal teeth on your call. Either that, or hire a male guard to shadow your every step. Just in case. You never know. 😱
Have a lovely time with him.

DancingInTheMoonlights · 22/09/2026 13:19

whyayepetal · 22/09/2026 13:17

Yes OP. Absolutely shocking - what an awful way to spend your time…..😆

Love this update!! 💕

HangryBrickShark · 22/09/2026 13:21

I'm so pleased for you. Don't forget my wedding invite lol. I hope it works out and you have a tfabby time x

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:26

SylvanMoon · 22/09/2026 13:17

Ooh, dodgy, a country park. Could be dark corners there where he'll turn into the axe murderer and bury you without a trace. I'd be sure to bring your police guard dog that can restrain him with his lethal teeth on your call. Either that, or hire a male guard to shadow your every step. Just in case. You never know. 😱
Have a lovely time with him.

I'll take the risk

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 22/09/2026 13:26

Really chuffed for you OP!! Hope it’s all wonderfully romantic!!

redboxer321 · 22/09/2026 13:27

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:10

A little update, we've just had a quick voice call as I'm at work on lunch, and we have a date in the diary for very soon. He's going to come to Manchester and has booked a hotel for 2 nights...first night meet for drinks/dinner, second day (if it goes well), go for a yomp in a country park type place, lunch, drinks and then play the evening by ear.

Sounds terrible doesn't it

I think you need to consider taking a chaperone. I presume you'll be wearing a chastity belt?

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 13:29

redboxer321 · 22/09/2026 13:27

I think you need to consider taking a chaperone. I presume you'll be wearing a chastity belt?

Obviously, I'm not totally stoopid 😆

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 22/09/2026 13:32

Dragonscaledaisy · 22/09/2026 08:54

I don't think it's a romance scam. He possibly met other women on holiday and has already or is planning to meet up with them too, which may explain the issue with the dates and why he hadn't texted but as the OP says, they're not in a relationship, so I don't see why that would matter at this early stage of getting to know each other. I think they should meet up and see where it leads.

Why is it so much more likely that the confusion with the dates was because he’s a serial holiday shagger with other women on the go…?

Surely the #1 most likely explanation is that he either misspoke or OP misheard and there were slightly crossed wires after a few drinks?!

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