Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

[BigSpongyHelmet]

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

I bet OP hates how MN explains the dating world more than she hates the actual dating world.

I'm really enjoying this thread @BigSpongyHelmet
I hope things work out with this man - he sounds lovely.
❤️❤️

Where's the 'worshipping'?

You have used a lot of embellishment and exaggeration here.

OP asked others opinion on whether she should text a man. She did it. He replied. They're going on a date.

That is how people meet.

If you prefer your men to be the tomato sauce and not the fish and chips, no one has a problem with that. I like it. It sounds very sensible and fun.

But it's not fair to mock other people for asking a simple question and imply that we are all 5 year old girls dressing up in princess dresses and playing 'getting married'.

Very patronising.

Yes, I'd like to know this too please

What utter tosh.

Even if i didn't misremember, what's the big deal...what has he gained?

Watch out OP this man has you right where he wants you, just ready to...ignore you... ghost you...scam you...I'm not sure. But be ready and they can all say they told you so.

I think that’s the utter nonsense the post is getting at anyway

Oh lighten up. 😂

Where is your sense of fun and romance?

This has been a really fun, light hearted thread for the most part other than whingers like you. If you don't, fine, scroll by and don't comment.

Some of us still believe that good things can happen and nice men are out there and think this is lovely and has been a bit of fun.

Okay, none of us know if it will go tits up or whether, back on UK soil they will get on the same way, but its great that the OP has a sense of adventure and is brave enough to put herself out there and try.

If he turns out to be a loser then who cares? I am pretty sure she will chalk it up to experience and move on from it just fine.

It would be sad if it wasn't so ridiculous.

@BigSpongyHelmet ... If you do a follow-up thread and want to attract the undoubted stars of this one, perhaps you should name it Chip-Pissers' Corner.

Brill, I was trying to think of a suitable title, definitely using that 😆

Ignore CrazyMisandrist. These people have to poison the well for everyone else.

I love this story OP - I have images in my head of you both sitting in your armchairs in 20 years time telling people the romantic story of how you met.

no pressure though lol

Wow - do you need to be so unpleasant?

In all honesty the comments on here are a reflection on the men usually discussed … which are currently my abusive dh has pushed me whilst pregnant/my dh works part time and expects all bills to be paid and lobster for tea/dh wants to spend every Christmas with his family and his mother hates me etc

based on that MN jumped in with a response of the man is an abuser/nutter/married/wanted by interpol

op wanted a sense check on how dating works after a 30 year hiatus… and boy did she get it 🤣 I have enjoyed every comment btw even those I disagree with

Oh dear! I didn't realise that my gentle response to OP's question necessitated your two pence worth of attempt at shutdown vitriol, but hey, if it makes you feel better, have a nice day.

That’s fabulous 🤣🤣🤣

The question from OP was WWYD?

Responses varied and covered a range of possible explanations and outcomes - all based on MN experience or, knowledge of experiences of others. There are millions of examples on MN of men being the exact opposite of what anyone wants.

It seems that the OP is only content with responses which supported her positive experience and she, and many others, have ridiculed responses which paint a potential different narrative to that exlerienced during the 48 hour holiday romance.

Perhaps the OP should have asked only for responses which supported her intention to text him and specifically said please dont respond with any potentially negative scenarios.

Fair play to everyone who kindly and helpfully pointed out potential issues/explanations for the lack of texting.

I think some people on here sound so entrenched in bitterness that they couldn't possibly be happy or show compassion for a fellow human being.

This is one of those weird threads on MN. OP asked a question, listened and replied to responses, made a decision and got a good outcome (wishing her the best of luck and a happy ending!).

Yet she gets so much hate and bitchiness! Why?

Because so many are only here for the drama, can't they go watch a soap opera instead?

Totally uncalled for. Do you just associate with liars? OP is not a child, and perfectly capable of looking out for herself.

Good luck OP, looking forward to hearing how the first date goes.

It’s always good to get a range of opinions on things like this….but Jesus, some of the responses on here really are nuts.

I've read all comments, not really sure how I'm supposed to respond any further to the negative ones? I've said I'm going to meet him and if he turns out to be a dick then what have I lost?

I think me saying I'm not going to meet him would be the only thing that makes some posters happy...but where's the fun in that?

oh @BigSpongyHelmet what a brilliant thread! I only read it now - and thankfully did read all OP's posts before jumping in with 'text him! what have you to lose?' 😂

I love this thread as it's normal, and uncomplicated, and it gives me hope that normal, random connections can still be made in life, away from the apps!

I'm glad you texted, I love his reply and I have no clue why some posters are being absolutely batshit about possible scamming and all sorts of odd scenarios. You sound completely sensible - you'd like to meet him, it sounds promising but you aren't over-invested and will see how it goes.

Please keep us updated, regardless of ultimate outcome, this is just such a nice and wholesome story! Best of luck with the date!

Well, I mean, I was married to an abusive dickhead, who has made me lose any and all faith in men and relationships but in this instance, all I could see was positivity!

It seemed balanced and sane, with possibilities but not so much invested if it didn't work out.

(Compared to some mental threads I read where someone has met a guy online and is now turning themselves inside out with rules and what they should do about some guy who is clearly a total loser).