Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

[BigSpongyHelmet]

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

LOVE this post. Love that you jumped. Love that he responded. Really want to hear how it goes. In life you have to jump sometimes without knowing quite exactly where you will land. Congratulations for jumping and taking a risk.

100%. We have to take everyone we meet at face value and get to know them over time. That’s the sheer joy of it. The excitement and getting to know stage. Sure, there’s nothing to be lost in taking a chance on a date, it’s not like it’s a bloody arranged marriage she’s committing to!

Thanks for all the positive comments, it's appreciated. With regards to the negative ones I'm not ignoring them but I have no idea what more I can say! There's absolutely nothing I can do at this point to find out any more info, there's nothing I can do about anything that may or may not have happened over the last week. All I can do is meet the guy, if it goes ok then great, if he's a bell end then I won't see him again.

Not sure why I've been called angry, unpleasant, lacking in common sense...I think some people just enjoy poking the bear!

I'll update when we've got a date in the diary 😊

When someone is keen you don't need to wonder and speculate, it's obvious. So in this case I'd say his keeness has dissipated since you parted. Maybe it doesn't feel such a good idea now he's back in his real life. Maybe he met another woman during his remaining holiday. Maybe he's just a bit meh and if you pushed you could get a date out of it, which might develop into something. Up to you whether you want to be the driver or whether you'd prefer someone as keen on you as you are on them.

I know, I don't know why I try reasoning. Everytime I disagree on here with the 'all men are awful' gang I get accused of being a man. I'm really not, i'm a 44 year old female.
I know some men can be awful, but not all.
I hate the hypocrisy on here that some women can say whatever they like about men, but god forbid a man should say something offensive about a woman.

Too late now, but I wouldn’t have messaged him.

He told you he’d text you to arrange meeting up when he got home. He didn’t text, (granted he wasn’t home, but you didn’t know that), so you text him, after he already didn’t respond to your last message?

What are you on about??

Good GOD. Is no one able to understand a metaphor? When your brains have turned from pink mush back into normal functioning, perhaps you might be able to hold in mind the explanation for the metaphor that was included after said metaphor. Basically that they're nice to have but not having them doesn't ruin enjoyment of a meal. In this metaphor, the condiment is romance and the meal is life. It was a way of saying that we shouldn't be so focused on men unless they really prove themselves. WAS THAT NOT BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS?? What on earth did you think I meant? To spell out the metaphor so that there is no further confusion, it means that romance can be a nice addition to life but that life is just as enjoyable without it.

I don't think I'll try using metaphors again here - at least not while everyone's still weak at the knees. It's like a Barbara Cartland novel in here. Oh, to be a man! I wish I had the power to make a dozen men go nuts just by replying to a text message. I CANNOT IMAGINE a thread of men thrilling with delight and mentioning weddings because a woman texted back! And saying how amazing it is and how wonderful that it all worked out....because she REPLIED to a TEXT!

This man-worship for doing so little is just nauseating. Did our forbears burn their bras for nothing? Germaine Greer would be APPALLED. Emily Davison would be all "I threw myself in front of the king's horse...for this?"

Any man worth his salt would have continued to communicate after OP left the holiday. It's 2026 and is extremely easy to do. There was a big gap between saying goodbye and being in touch again...which only happened because OP texted.

Proceed with caution. And don't give him too much thought. Think about him only if he actually gives you a reason to think about him.

Some of these responses are toxic. Don’t let anything get to you. He sounds lovely and genuine. I hope it works out wonderfully for you.

Good luck op I hope the date goes well. My days of getting excited about a man are well and truly over lol, but I still very much believe in love and romance for others. Hope you still like each other in the cold light of day in Manchester. 🤞

Everything can work out wonderfully for OP independently of this man. What happens with him is not the decider of how well things work out for her. Nobody should be. Her life will be just as wonderful, fulfilling, and amazing if he turns out to be a good prospect or not.

Same here, lol. Once you've truly seen how many people have feet of clay, you can't unsee it. But it's nice that some people can still float away on a pink bubble of love at the drop of a hat.

Hurrah! I came back to see if there was an update.

I am 54 and met my soon to be husband 7 years ago through a mutual friend. I DM'ed him on Facebook Messenger.

Never listen to naysayers, always think positive! You had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

All the best!

Have fun. Ignore the haters. That way loneliness lies.

Oh, I do love this for it's honesty. <3

Yes, I get the metaphor. You do sound bitter though. No need to shout with the capital letters either.

Pardon?

It won't seem desperate as he's the one that claimed he wanted to see you on his return. Just text breezily, 'fancy that drink then?' If no reply just forget them. I see no need to go as far as blocking. They were either not single or compartmentalizing their holiday experience and don't want it to carry on into the 'real world'.

It's moved on a bit!

Loved reading this! People really do love taking the fun out of all situations! Hope you have a great date & if you are feeling it, go back to his hotel and have an even better night :) Not everyone we meet are complete weirdos!

Sweet baby cheeses no wonder other forums take the piss out of this place🤣

Its got the sublime to the ridiculous.

Could someone direct me to the sublime, please?

You really, really did not sound like you got the metaphor. It was about romance (condiments) and life (meals). But you took offence at men being called condiments and said how awful it would be if a man said the same thing about a woman. You didn't get it at all!

Ah, and that old riposte, "You're bitter." The insult we are all meant to dread! Anything but to be called bitter! Yeah, other people's insults and opinions have no effect on me. I'll express what I've seen all around me in my long life whether it makes me popular or not. I'd far, far rather be bitter than stupid when it comes to romance.

You're acting like OP has camped outside his house holding a banner proclaiming her love.

She has simply send a quick message.

I don't understand your brand of feminism which says OP shouldn't be messaging him, he should be messaging her.

Yeh good point actually😄