Page 23 | Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

BigSpongyHelmet · 2026-09-21T13:04:31+00:00

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic. Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others! Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day. He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing. I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home. We're both 52 for context. WWYD?

WigglywagglyWanda · 22/09/2026 08:42

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 08:26

Ah dammit, already on its way...I'll cancel the cheque 😆

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😅😅😅

This thread is brilliant, you've been so patient in the face of some absolutely hilariously off the wall shit.

There may be some genuine loopers who are expressing concern among the others who just love knocking someone down and making them feel shit about themselves.

You sound very sensible. He could turn out to be the Tinder Swindler or he could be a perfectly nice bloke and im sure you've enough sense to tell the difference.

Have fun and dont spend life shaking behind your sofa!

Lifes too short to do that

LetMeGoogleThat · 22/09/2026 08:42

Started reading this at 5am, and so glad I did! Some of it's hilarious, peppered with ' just messge him OP' several hours after you did, and updated with his response.

I'm not sure how, you've lost all morals, thrown your self respect to wind, and opened yourself for ID theft, and I'm very confused about the phone that you should be waiting for 🤔

So, from the flight checkers, to the cba to even read the thread! Its cheered me right up! Good on ya OP! And hope it works out, and he doesn't turn into a knob 🤞🤞

PinkEasterbunny · 22/09/2026 08:45

Some posters won't be happy until the OP has hired a private detective to check him out, done some sort of police check, contacted all his relatives and double checked the airport he returned to.

Maybe ask for a note from his Mum, too? Finger prints and DNA?

user1464187087 · 22/09/2026 08:45

CrazyMidget · 21/09/2026 19:13

Many of us women place far too much importance on men. I used to, until I had a long and horrible marriage. Since then, I treat them like condiments. Nice to have, but not having them doesn't spoil any of my enjoyment. I don't give any of the men I date any thought at all, unless they do something to really get my attention. I don't understand why you're even thinking about this man. After you said goodbye, there was no reason to ever think about him again unless he got in touch with you to suggest a time and date to meet up back home. He's not the Messiah, he's not the answer, he's not a prize. He's just a man who probably takes an hour on the loo to have a shit and hasn't called you. You should be asking yourself if YOU like HIM, not the other way round. I, personally, wouldn't like someone who broke a promise to be in touch. Sod him. Sod them all. A man is not the answer. TO ANYTHING.

You sound a bit bitter. Imagine your reaction if a man described a woman as a condiment. You would lose your shit.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 22/09/2026 08:48

Honestly, this is the thread that keeps on giving 😂

WigglywagglyWanda · 22/09/2026 08:50

PinkEasterbunny · 22/09/2026 08:45

Some posters won't be happy until the OP has hired a private detective to check him out, done some sort of police check, contacted all his relatives and double checked the airport he returned to.

Maybe ask for a note from his Mum, too? Finger prints and DNA?

Im channelling baby reindeer😆

Seriously though it's an eye opener. Met some guy and wondered if he will contact me turns into air traffic control checking flights to cyber stalking and identity theft😆😆😆😆

Dragonscaledaisy · 22/09/2026 08:54

RonaldDahl · 22/09/2026 08:22

I don’t think people should be scared of normal, friendly, human interactions. There is nothing that suggests he was trying to steal OP’s identity. Romance scam - potentially, but still more likely to occur online.

Glad he got in touch OP, don’t send him any money for his mum’s hip replacement operation!

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I don't think it's a romance scam. He possibly met other women on holiday and has already or is planning to meet up with them too, which may explain the issue with the dates and why he hadn't texted but as the OP says, they're not in a relationship, so I don't see why that would matter at this early stage of getting to know each other. I think they should meet up and see where it leads.

Lollypop701 · 22/09/2026 08:55

sounds awful op, you met a guy 1990’s style in a pub when out, had a great evening and he was a gentleman making sure you got home safely and asked for a kiss… said he wanted to see you again. Responds to your text and doubles down on seeing you again.

bin him off, he’s obviously on the run from a bad drugs bust, is on the most wanted interpol list, has 19 kids to different mothers who he doesn’t see or support - and wants to steal your identity and will live his life out as bigspongeyhelmet … wearing a curly wig and the lipstick he stole from you. 🤣

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 22/09/2026 08:58

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 01:16

All this excitement just because A Man replied to a message! Can you imagine a thread of men posting in excitement and planning weddings because a woman texted back?? Come ON, sisters! A MAN IS NOT A PLAN!

And the talk of new hats...Jesus. Can I just remind everyone that it's official that marriage is shit? As in, official stats say how shit it is.

43 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Of the remaining 57 per cent, a good tranche are unhappy. If you take a conservative guess that that slice is 20 percent, of the whole, that's a whopping 63 percent of all marriages that are shit. And it's probably more than 20 percent. Some studies estimate that only about twenty percent of marriages are actually happy.

Only 25 percent of first marriages make it to the thirtieth wedding anniversary, and only 11 percent of that is due to the death of a spouse.

And you don't wanna know the stats for second and third marriages. Around 60 and 70 percent failure rates, then add the unhappily wed ones on top of that, almost all of those marriages have failed.

Marriage is a technology that fails the vast majority of the time. With that in mind, I have NO idea why A Man texting back has unleashed such a torrent of excitement. There is more to life than men. So, so much more.

Edited

Jeez Louise. You sound fun.
And bizarrely, I’m sure I remember you on a different thread just yesterday, telling a woman with a crush she doesn’t realise HOW LUCKY SHE IS TO HAVE A HUSBAND when some people (I’m guessing you) don’t have anyone. Hmmm…

SylvanMoon · 22/09/2026 08:58

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 08:26

Ah dammit, already on its way...I'll cancel the cheque 😆

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OP don't tell the other posters about the £££ you sent him while he was "stranded" in the Canaries, having had his wallet and all his ID stolen, including his plane ticket home. They'll go mad and say you've been taken by a scammer!!!! 😅😂Have a lovely date with him (although if he does press you to fund his just-about-to-become-the-next-big-thing business venture, you might want to hold back from giving him "all" your life savings, maybe just give him half to be on the safe side.)

Original poster

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 09:00

Lollypop701 · 22/09/2026 08:55

sounds awful op, you met a guy 1990’s style in a pub when out, had a great evening and he was a gentleman making sure you got home safely and asked for a kiss… said he wanted to see you again. Responds to your text and doubles down on seeing you again.

bin him off, he’s obviously on the run from a bad drugs bust, is on the most wanted interpol list, has 19 kids to different mothers who he doesn’t see or support - and wants to steal your identity and will live his life out as bigspongeyhelmet … wearing a curly wig and the lipstick he stole from you. 🤣

😆

OP posts:

Original poster

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 09:01

SylvanMoon · 22/09/2026 08:58

OP don't tell the other posters about the £££ you sent him while he was "stranded" in the Canaries, having had his wallet and all his ID stolen, including his plane ticket home. They'll go mad and say you've been taken by a scammer!!!! 😅😂Have a lovely date with him (although if he does press you to fund his just-about-to-become-the-next-big-thing business venture, you might want to hold back from giving him "all" your life savings, maybe just give him half to be on the safe side.)

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😆

OP posts:

Original poster

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 09:02

If we have our 'first date' and it turns out shite, imagine all the "I told you so" comments 😆

OP posts:

Crumpelstiltskin · 22/09/2026 09:03

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 08:26

Ah dammit, already on its way...I'll cancel the cheque 😆

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I've no idea how you've maintained your sense of humour and patience in the face of some absolutely batshit posters on this thread. Credit to you and I hope you have a great time when you see him.

PetulaGordeno · 22/09/2026 09:03

I think you both sound fabulous.
I am a bit older than you and I think the fact that he was a gentleman when on holiday is a positive indicator indeed.
Hope you have a lovely time meeting up.
The distance isn’t that far.
Enjoy!

RareJoker · 22/09/2026 09:03

ANNotherWriter · 22/09/2026 08:11

Some posts here really puzzle me.

Look, OP, I wish you all the luck in the world on this. I sincerely hope he's a good man and it works out for you long term if you want that.

What I feel is unfair is the outcry at me and a few others when we've just suggested you might have taken a very simple step to make sure he was at least being honest with you. He arrived home days after you'd thought . I'd have raised an eyebrow and checked it out, even if only to confirm I'd misheard!

That's not outrageous and neither is checking out someone on social media. There are SO many threads here where women have been lied to, duped, etc and find out later. Day after day there are posts here from women who've been hurt, men lying etc.

It's common sense when meeting someone online or away from home to check that they are who they say they are. Especially when they live long distance.

I'm saying this as someone married for 40 years but was once duped by a man who did have a wife hidden away, who lived too far away from me to drop by and check him out (and before the internet existed.)

You're 52 and new to the dating scene again. It's great you've met this man and I DO hope it works out, but there are so many bastards out there it's really worth doing a bit of checking out beforehand.

All the best with it and I hope it works.

Edited

This! I have a couple of friends who met men on holiday, and upon return the men were keen to meet, but only at hotels and places close to them - nowhere near their own home towns. One turned out to be married, the other liked playing games - acting keen, then ghosting her for days or weeks. She thinks he had several on the go, but never found out for sure because after a year of this nonsense, he blocked her without explanation!
I sincerely hope it does work out for you OP ❤️ but please bear in mind that there are a lot of men out there who enjoy compartmentalising their lives.

Loub1987 · 22/09/2026 09:04

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 09:02

If we have our 'first date' and it turns out shite, imagine all the "I told you so" comments 😆

As long as he doesn’t kill you, steal all your money or introduce you to his wife on the date you should be safe from the I told you so’s 😂

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 09:04

Dragonscaledaisy · 22/09/2026 08:54

I don't think it's a romance scam. He possibly met other women on holiday and has already or is planning to meet up with them too, which may explain the issue with the dates and why he hadn't texted but as the OP says, they're not in a relationship, so I don't see why that would matter at this early stage of getting to know each other. I think they should meet up and see where it leads.

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What makes you think that? Some people are just so cynical and determined to piss on others' chips. It's just ugly and says far more about you than it does about this man or the OP.

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 09:05

RareJoker · 22/09/2026 09:03

This! I have a couple of friends who met men on holiday, and upon return the men were keen to meet, but only at hotels and places close to them - nowhere near their own home towns. One turned out to be married, the other liked playing games - acting keen, then ghosting her for days or weeks. She thinks he had several on the go, but never found out for sure because after a year of this nonsense, he blocked her without explanation!
I sincerely hope it does work out for you OP ❤️ but please bear in mind that there are a lot of men out there who enjoy compartmentalising their lives.

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Oh good lord. The OP's a big girl, I'm sure she can look after herself.

Avie29 · 22/09/2026 09:05

@BigSpongyHelmet i have read some of the thread and all your posts and i would have messaged him like you did -to those saying you have no self respect- its more self respecting to go after what you want, than sitting around waiting for someone else to give it to you -so good on you!

user1464187087 · 22/09/2026 09:07

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 01:16

All this excitement just because A Man replied to a message! Can you imagine a thread of men posting in excitement and planning weddings because a woman texted back?? Come ON, sisters! A MAN IS NOT A PLAN!

And the talk of new hats...Jesus. Can I just remind everyone that it's official that marriage is shit? As in, official stats say how shit it is.

43 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Of the remaining 57 per cent, a good tranche are unhappy. If you take a conservative guess that that slice is 20 percent, of the whole, that's a whopping 63 percent of all marriages that are shit. And it's probably more than 20 percent. Some studies estimate that only about twenty percent of marriages are actually happy.

Only 25 percent of first marriages make it to the thirtieth wedding anniversary, and only 11 percent of that is due to the death of a spouse.

And you don't wanna know the stats for second and third marriages. Around 60 and 70 percent failure rates, then add the unhappily wed ones on top of that, almost all of those marriages have failed.

Marriage is a technology that fails the vast majority of the time. With that in mind, I have NO idea why A Man texting back has unleashed such a torrent of excitement. There is more to life than men. So, so much more.

Edited

You sound like a lot of fun!! 😀

PinkEasterbunny · 22/09/2026 09:11

He possibly met other women on holiday and has already or is planning to meet up with them too

Or maybe the OP met up with other men on holiday, shagged the First Officer on the flight home, and has since been romantically linked with a woman?!

TheSmellOfSea · 22/09/2026 09:13

@BigSpongyHelmet you should think of a title for the thread after the date. Then we can watch for it.

Dragonscaledaisy · 22/09/2026 09:14

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 09:04

What makes you think that? Some people are just so cynical and determined to piss on others' chips. It's just ugly and says far more about you than it does about this man or the OP.

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Well, the apparent confusion with the dates would make me cautious - that's what my response says about me.🙂

Dragonscaledaisy · 22/09/2026 09:15

PinkEasterbunny · 22/09/2026 09:11

He possibly met other women on holiday and has already or is planning to meet up with them too

Or maybe the OP met up with other men on holiday, shagged the First Officer on the flight home, and has since been romantically linked with a woman?!

Well yes - that's why i said it doesn't matter because they're not in a relationship. 😁