Partner going away with attractive 22 year old girl. Is it a bit weird or am I just being jealous/insecure.

[cheeseandhamtoastie42]

Just that really! For context he’s 43, and self employed so it’s a work trip that he’s organised himself. It’s long haul and they will be away for a few weeks. She works for him at his house everyday mon-Fri, they are set up in his dining room. Desks next to eachother. We don’t live together.

The whole thing is making me feel a bit weird but I’m not sure why! I know if I try to talk to him about it it will just go round in circles and will just result in me feeling like a terrible person/jealous insecure girlfriend. He sees the trip as essential to the business, I don’t want to be accused of being unsupportive as I do support him massively.

just wondered how others would potentially feel about this situation? Am I being an absolute areshole girlfriend?

I feel icky too

Thank you ☺️ and you make a good point.

He is definitely getting money from somewhere, that’s also something I’m suspicious of.

That’s really sad to hear OP. Being “single” means having time for friends, family, hobbies, work, pets, projects, a home you love, food and tv you want and peace of mind.

Many relationships fall far short of the benefits of single life but society tells us that relationships/men are the more important than being happy in other circumstances.

I completely agree. I’m pretty much single now but still somehow have a dickhead man stressing me out.

Did he definitely 'quit' his job, OP?

No chance, he was pushed? And has a chunk of redundancy/hush money he hasn't mentioned?

I think you’re trying to get him to see things from your POV which is causing you more distress. You need to accept that he never will see it from your side because he is an arsehole. Accept that he’s an arsehole, will always be one and then control what you can control which is to walk away.

It sounds like you are being set up to be asked for money
You are the one with the stable housing and job and savings
He probably knows that

Have you decided to end it with him yet?

Most people I know who did web design have had to diversify or stop altogether recently so its not surprising his business isn't doing well but if that is the case why does he suddenly need an employee?
Also, nobody is going to engage a webdesigner becasue they just turn up
Hes off on a jolly but doesn't want to tell you - and that before his "employee" is even involved

Please go back and. read what you wrote again. Pretend it's from your sister or your best friend.

@cheeseandhamtoastie42 "she’s recently graduated and can’t find work so he’s framing it as doing her a massive favour."

Yeah, I bet he is!

They are together in his house all the week? How is this any different? I've been on hundreds of long haul work trips. Never shagged a colleague.

That said I have three different web design companies working for me right now in three countries. Never met any of them, not even the UK one, never told by any of them that they are off on a trip. It's not how I hire, and can't imagine why he needs to travel for that reason. Going to a conference to learn stuff maybe...

You know what to do…

His new boss and him took a dislike to eachother apparently. It was very odd, more to it but quite specific so might be (even more) outing.

This part is true, small web design businesses are going down the pan due to AI as you can create a fully functioning beautiful website in about 5 minutes.
the travel operator thing might be true too, as this involves more complex integrations with booking systems so is more niche and harder to do with AI if not impossible.
the main issue is why is he spending all this money on trips if his business is struggling? Maybe he does have several client meetings booked in over a few weeks.

I am very laid back and the kind of person who never gets jealous. But I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

I don't think many people are making assumptions about her, are they? It's him, the creepy proven liar who is taking his female employee away on 'work trips' which are a tiny bit of networking and mainly holiday vibes.

EVEN IF they were legitimate work trips (they're not), if all he's doing is getting in front of potential clients, why does he need to bring someone else? (He doesn't)

He's a sleazy creep.
His business is likely to go bang, why are you hanging around for this?

When it does he will try to leech off you as he clearly sees you as a dim soft touch to be used.

Far better to end things now and side step the inevitable shit show to come where he will undoubtedly guilt you when you no longer want to be involved.

You need to put your children first and step away from this toxicity.

You're his backup plan to finance his life and hobbies. He's not going to stop playing sugar daddy even when looking at bankruptcy.

You want a look at your future, read the his self employed dream is my nightmare thread. But yours wants to take other women on long holidays, not you.

Please get rid of him. He’s a lying loser, and he’s lining this young woman up as his next target.

Never mind his questionable trip abroad with his assistant, that he's lost his shit at a perfectly reasonable suggestion should be a huge red flag.

I can see no reason, work wise, why the woman needs to be on the trip. I think you already know this is more than a worktrip. If he's lied in the past, he's lying now.

@cheeseandhamtoastie42 - lots of good advice above. Also, if you had a shitty childhood, why are you listening to your mum at all? She was obviously a shit mum then; sounds like she’s still a shit mum now. Honestly, this guy sounds embarrassing. You basically already are single in practical terms and he’s making a fool of you.

He’s not a partner. He has no business sense and business is failing yet is spending thousands on a 3week work trip

thank god you don’t live together

He has yet to confirm why she is going. However I’m fairly certain he’ll frame it as him doing her a massive favour/it’s really good experience etc.