Husband telling me to tell my friend to shut up on Christmas Day?

[samanthaoritz]

Currently living in Spain with my Spanish husband. Been here two years but increasingly feels isolating and I feel homesick. I wanted to get an honest view on a situation that happened. Is it that bad?

My friend came over to Spain to spend Christmas with me because I was feeling lonely, which I was really grateful for. On Christmas morning she got up around 8:30/9am and was excitedly FaceTiming her family and nephew. She was admittedly quite loud.

My husband had worked Christmas Eve and wanted a lie-in, so he started texting me telling me to make her be quiet. I felt embarrassed and didn't want to dampen her excitement because it was Christmas morning.
I was sitting outside having a coffee when my husband stormed downstairs, came into the garden and said, “Tell that bitch to shut up,” before going back upstairs.

I was absolutely mortified. I ended up hiding in the bathroom crying, and I remember very clearly thinking, “My friend gets to leave and escape this, but I'm stuck here with this person.”
Christmas is my favourite time of year and something I look forward to all year. My friend and I made a big roast dinner together—she cooked chicken and I cooked beef. My husband ate it without saying thank you or saying anything nice about it. The only comment I remember was, “Do you British people use gravy for your flavouring?”

Looking back, it wasn't really about someone wanting a lie-in or even about Christmas dinner. It was the atmosphere—the irritation, negativity and feeling embarrassed by my own husband when I was just trying to enjoy having my friend there and have a happy Christmas.

My friend came over to Spain……

People can only go on what they are told.

I see from your previous thread that this is part of a much larger pattern of arseholian behaviour. I assume this has not stopped since you posted in 2024?

This man is abusive, unpleasant, aggressive, and constantly gaslighting you. He has no respect for you. This will get worse, not better.

You know what you have to do. And if you say "but I love him!" like you did on the last thread, I'll ask, "BUT WHY? He's horrible!" And if you say "not all the time!" I'll say, "Enough of the time!"

Have you read the OP's previous post? It's bad form to link to it, but it's eye-opening. This man is a nasty arsehole.

It is now August
this happened last December

why haven’t you left if it’s that horrendous and you’re so lonely, this was 6-7 months ago!!!!

absolutely baffling

Nothing racist about having a view on other countries food.
Spanish wouldn't be my favourite either.
English food bar a beautifully cooked sunday roast isn't great.
I never liked Chinese food until I spent time in Hong Kong 30 years ago and realised I had only had the utter dregs of it.
Real Chinese and Hong Kong cuisine is a revelation.

Anyway OP, you don't sound happy.
Don't waste your life far from home if you are not.

Oh I agree, I wasn’t digging them out. Just responding with the info OP later added as their response was based off the incorrect info in the original post.

No I don't have that option, only can go off what she is saying.
I'm not saying he's not in the wrong, just that she asked an opinion but just seems to shoot down any opinion other than leave his, hes horrible. I mean just leave him if that's what she thinks.

You do have the option. But if you CBA arsed, trust me, this isn't a one off. It's a whole pattern of nasty behavious and you're right, she should leave because she's been unhappy for years.

OP has admitted she's not in Spain but has changed her location to protect herself from mucho poligro

Yes, but I also read the follow up that says she made that bit up to not out herself

Isn't that just an option if you pay?

Can't be arsed 😆 sorry ma'am, I will dedicate the next hour to exploring this woman's life to form an opinion with information that wasnt provided, fuck me 😆😆

Yes, get on with it forthwith! Don't make me look over the top of my glasses at you, then you'll be sorry! 😉

You can do advanced search even if you don't pay but trust me, I also consider CBA as a perfectly valid reason not to search as well.

Was there a party under a bridge yesterday? What kind of comment is that for someone clearly in a domestic abuse situation?

Aren't they just!

I think Mr Savage and Mr VM are having a laugh - but only to themselves - it's not coming over to me!

I'm really interested in food and have been for decades. I just cannot take seriously anyone who says English/British food is rubbish. They are either very narrow/borderline deprived - one of these pps equates British food with baked beans on toast, fgs. They are just showing ignorance and out-of-touchness.

Have they lived under a stone for the last 40 years, while superb chefs like Rick Stein, Gary Rhodes (RIP), Gordon Ramsay, Mr Outlaw (can't remember his first name), Tom Kerridge, Marcus Waring etc etc etc etc have been raising the profile of traditional and regional British dishes for ages?

Apparently so. Perhaps they have only ever experienced beans on toast, bless them, which is of course more American in its origins.

Pa ha ha!

Is that your fantasy, Mr Savage? 😂
Did it never happen?

Northern Europeans and Southern Europeans do not mix, they just don't. Too different, in all aspects of life. It is not your fault or your husband's fault.

A close physical resemblance to the late Lily of that ilk has been conjured up in my mind!

Those who say British food is rubbish are people without money, so please don't patronise them, try to picture yourself in their shoes for half a day. There was a period in my life when I genuinely thought that Maltese food was disgusting and consisted only of pea pasties, but that was because I was I had to be in Malta for a period of time and had absolutely no money and pea pasties was the only affordable option.

You can safely ignore this poster’s “advice” - she has a rep!

The thing that struck me most, was that you invited your friend to spend Christmas with you because you felt lonely 😢
You shouldn’t feel lonely with your husband there, and especially not at Christmas! You are in the wrong relationship.

Haha just said the same! Maybe time for a name change Viv? 🤣

Why is this issue still festering with you, OP, 8 months later? Why are you posting about this NOW? Have other things happened? Surely you're not just anticipating what you should do this coming Christmas, as that's 3 months away.

Stop making things up.

Ah the good ol’ British food jokes!

I'm not joking. I've been around a bit, so trust me when I say that there isn't a country in the world that has worse food than Britain.