Disturbing inappropriate text before first date…

[messyhairdontcare25]

Hi everyone

i just wanted to share a disturbing text I’ve received from a guy.

The date was planned for this Friday and I received the below by text out of nowhere…no previous sexual talk, just planning the date. Totally icked out and disturbed. Urgh!

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

@Pinksalamanda I was shocked to my core at the messages people get on dating apps when they literally just start talking. There are loads of people sharing them online usually followed by men are not lonely enough.

I think some people may know the "I have one daughter" meme but the guy who wrote that song about a Tinder exchange also shows a lot of other Tinder message exchanges. This is one.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iespIeBXvpU

Yeah so either it was for someone else who he is doing sexy talk with.
Or he was trying to start up a bit of sexy talk.
or he was trying to put yourself in your place before the date.

This. I think you basically told him you are submissive actually and he could easily interpret your response as flirty, which I suspect he might of based on his poor social skills

I wouldn't meet someone after only texting for a day for this exact reason.

My take is he's overtly trying to initiate sex talk and suss if you'll be up for it on Friday. I most certainly would not have attached an emoji as it appears that you had sussed him, and you might be.

It is disturbing to see how basic so many of these men have become. Thank goodness he showed his knob jockey status before you had to meet him and waste your Friday evening.

OK @LunaShip YOU go on the date Friday. It will all become clear then! Good luck!

Every single person eye rolling this or calling OP ‘dramatic’ needs to seriously spend some time watching the side of the internet that isn’t fed to them. There is nothing funny or quirky or accidental about this message.

OP I read your opening post and massively felt the ick too. That’s called gut instinct. It’s saying run, for a reason.

Regardless of whether this man is in fact covertly abusive or an incel, or ‘aspiring’ to be one, or just terrible with communication, there is zero part of me that wants to discuss being disciplined for not ‘behaving’ for a man in any context. It’s not a funny joke to me, and it’s not a lifestyle choice for me. So I would be absolutely cancel the date.

Any woman who has existed in this world so far without having to experience coercive control, misogyny or physical/verbal violence from a man is privileged and naive.

Trust your gut. X

When I was first divorced and dating I had guys say to me (before we'd even met) that "they like to get into a sexual relationship quickly" !
My response was "that doesn't work for me, I hope you find someone more suitable" and hang up.
At least he's revealed enough of himself OP, to give you an idea of what he's like. Now you can delete him and look for someone more respectful.

Massive red flag. FFS don't go on the date. Throw it back.

Looks like it was sent in error………the sort of message a parent might send to a mischievous child who’s presently staying elsewhere

Oh my God.

Have you cancelled him?

But then she replied with a laughing emoji so obviously doesn't actually find it disturbing.

You've never laughed nervously?

Yuck! Run away from him next time you see him.

🇹🇳

I didn’t engage in it…I thought it might have possibly been a text to his young daughter at home checking in and asking if she was behaving - that’s how much I couldn’t believe it - totally out of nowhere

So have you cancelled the date, or not?

Yes, but that would be involuntary. I wouldn't text nervously!

I read it exactly the same way. I'm really surprised at most of the replies!!
Sorry OP, glad you're not having it. Good for you 👍

Yes I cancelled it and he’s now blocked 🚫 I hope I never see him again at Park Run - I’ll be doing some more running and running away from him if I do!

Thank you 🙏

Yes, I saw it as a question about masturbation as well.

Why do you keep talking about the emoji? I’ve explained why I put it further up! Ok, so I wanted it, did I? I don’t think so.