Disturbing inappropriate text before first date…

[messyhairdontcare25]

Hi everyone

i just wanted to share a disturbing text I’ve received from a guy.

The date was planned for this Friday and I received the below by text out of nowhere…no previous sexual talk, just planning the date. Totally icked out and disturbed. Urgh!

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

I completely agree.

I think he sent it to be flirty to test the waters with how the dates going to go and it has worked in OPs favour because it’s shown OP that they’re on different pages.

I defythink it’s meant for someone else. It doesn’t have any meaning otherwise. I’d message back and say I assume you sent this to the wrong person? Maybe make a joke of it and ask if they were behaving themselves?!

She already said they were planning a date for Friday! So that’s not a friend, it’s a date date!

Why the assumption it’s sexual? I’d read that as alcohol related but it depends what the date is? Are you going for a meal and drinks or just drinks? I’d be questioning my own reaction to saying it’s disturbing.

With total respect, you need to read the entire thread become commenting

That's the point, he's assuming a paternalistic dominant persona, like she's a silly girl and he's the one in charge.

Which is fine if you're into that sort of thing.

I'm startled by the amount of people who claim not to see it.

I’m definitely not into being dominated! I like to wear the trousers in a relationship and hate being controlled 😂

Chances are he'll be just as happy with that.

🤢

This.

Yeah…one of those ‘switch’ men who like both being controlled AND controlling their woman

Nothing wrong with that as a preference either, but I suspect that in this case, the guy will basically take whatever he can get.

Yes, I meant sent to the wrong person.

Why do men have to ruin it for themselves by turning the conversation to sex before you even meet? Just annoying and shows that they're just after a hook up.

He definitely wanted you to reply "Oh I'm being a bit of a naughty girl, I might need a spanking!" 🤮

Because there are a lot of misogynistic dirty 'ole men out there who see women as a collection of body parts for their amusement.

I blame the availability of pornography - but that's a different discussion....

Just keep being selective and keep slapping these pervs down !

I just threw up in my lap. Definite ick!

Yes I read that as “are you being a good girl or do you need a smacked bottom?” type of vibe. Oh eff off you 1970s throwback! 🤢

He wants to know if you’re masturbsting

Listen to you all making out you don’t know exactly what this means!
It’s sexual obviously, especially given he’s admitted he meant it for you. He’s obviously hoping you’ll say you’ve been a bad girl and need him to administer some discipline.
Unless you’ve previously discussed that you are both interested in this sort of thing (no judgement here!), I’d run for the hills.
Did you meet online? Perhaps he casts the net wide and sends this text to several girls he’s about to start dating hoping that someone will be interested.

I wasn't suggesting lots of people would respond with YES come round [but some might} ]my point was at least you found out before the date rather than further down the line.

I don't either. I don't immediately see it as se@ual.

Ahh another mumsnet post reminding my exactly why I'm currently chilling with my kittens

Were you on a night out when he text you that? Seems a weird attempt at flirting, some girls might like it but I can't understand why he'd send it?

He didn’t know where I was when he sent it 😂

There had been no talk of anything sexual before he sent it. Nothing at all. I will be spending my Friday night thinking what a lucky escape I had.

I have no problem with anyone’s kinks at all (each to their own) but the fact that he thought it was a good idea to send such a message out of the blue BEFORE a first date and thought he’d be successful is deluded in my opinion. The way he wrote checkin before he asked the question too. Major ick!