Disturbing inappropriate text before first date…

[messyhairdontcare25]

Hi everyone

i just wanted to share a disturbing text I’ve received from a guy.

The date was planned for this Friday and I received the below by text out of nowhere…no previous sexual talk, just planning the date. Totally icked out and disturbed. Urgh!

Quick checkin: Are you behaving yourself or do I need to intervene?

With your situation though, there’s context.

with this situation with the there is none.

I admit I’d not have picked up on any S&M vibes, but I would definitely have thought it odd and it would make me feel weird, which is enough of a reason to red flag it.

I read this as 'Are you being a good girl?' And he would need to intervene with a spanking or other ' correction. Throw this one back.

Dod you meet him online? I would not go if you've never met him before.

It's a red flag. In the bin.

Then ask him to explain it because you didn’t understand the context. 🤔

Watch him squirm.

WOuld he use the word 'intervene' with a child and would child know its meaning. It's an odd word to say to a kid. SO I think it is asking if she is submissive etc

Not such an odd word to use……..but then I guess it depends on intellect 🤷‍♀️

Well, his text brought out all the MN psychiatrists and psychologists out. MN CSI and Behavioural Division hard at work.😅

I have never been called an INgenue. Flattery will get you everywhere! jk

It doesn’t actually matter why the guy sent it, or whether some readers are being naive or are over-reacting. He sent it, the OP found it unacceptable, and very sensibly, then enforced her boundaries by cancelling and blocking. Well done op.

Oh no, more mansplaining!😂

Dishonesty- whilst I can see that candour is desireable we are all selective in some way- if I were someone with multiple partners ( which I'm not) and in the habit of communicating with them like that ( which I'm not) I'd have probably seen the laughing emoji and thought ' ok let's see where this takes us'
More opportunism than dishonesty?
There's absolutely no obligation to reciprocate and every possibility it won't happen. The guy knows this.

Clearly I'm out of the game ..but I've no idea what he's meaning..behaving yourself,your not a child ,that's what you would say to a child
What a strange man

If I wasn't married,I'd definitely be single these days

so depressing the number of women on this thread who would be totally unperturbed by a man asking if they are behaving themselves :(

(only silver lining OP is he's showed himself up as a complete creep before he's even through the door - bye!)

I don't think all of them are women.

Not so…….why stereotype???

I thought I was reasonably familiar with what things meant and I wouldn't have picked up on that meaning at all. At least if it's not your thing you've both found out before the date and maybe although he was extremely crass, that's better than meeting him, things going well for several months and then dropping it in conversation.

It was NOT flirty but hey, maybe some people think this is fun and flirty but I think it’s creepy. End of. Like someone said, maybe when in a relationship and having regular sex this talk MIGHT be someone’s thing… but talking like this before a first date and just randomly dropping it in?! Yuck!

This is a quick way of finding out if you are going to be easy to dominate and control.
He doesn't want to have to spend time grooming/training you and so (in his mind) there is no point wasting time meeting you unless he can be confident that you are what he is looking for.

Who on earth would respond with ooo yes I’m misbehaving…come and punish me and invite him around? Err no…and he’s average looking by the way

Eww 😷

Really? 😂

Bizarre message. Veiled reference to contraception maybe?
Whatever it is, I would not take this relationship any further.