There are issues here on both sides.
Becoming disabled is almost like a bereavement. He’s no longer the person he was, no longer has the abilities he did, and naturally he is having to adapt to a new way of living.
His Job has become his normal and in truth is the one thing he’s been able to hold on to at the moment, which is unusual, because most employers would terminate someone who has become disabled before thinking of looking at adjustments etc.
But because he’s held on to his job, he’s done so at the expense of his family, and that’s where many of the issues have arisen.
Similarly for the OP their family has changed, because he’s no longer the person he was, and while it’s true to say that many carers do struggle to adapt, especially if the newly disabled person hasn’t yet got rid of the resentment, it’s also a fact that a lot of people don’t want to be in a relationship with someone with a disability, and most marriages to people with disabilities end, not just because of the need to adapt, but because whether we like to admit it or not, people can also be shallow.
It’s fair to say that the OP is struggling.
Where she loses sympathy however is when she talks about how she can’t stand the sight of him, it’s fairly clear that she is one of those wives who has no intentions of staying married to a man who she no longer sees as adequate.
If they love each other, they both need therapy. Individually to come to terms with their changing circumstances, and together to work out how the relationship is going to move forward now things have changed. Because things have changed, and they both have to find a way to navigate that if the marriage is to survive. So that involves give and take on both sides.