Friend's husband showing up uninvited whenever we meet

[Verona1976]

I've been friends with someone for 12 years, and we've always had a great relationship. The issue is her husband, who I feel is very controlling, although she either doesn't recognise it or chooses not to see it.
Whenever we meet for lunch or drinks, he'll use a phone tracking app to see where she is and then unexpectedly show up. I know plenty of families use location-sharing apps for safety, but it doesn't seem normal to me that he regularly turns up during our time together.
As soon as he arrives, the atmosphere completely changes. What was a relaxed, fun catch-up suddenly becomes tense, and we end up feeling obliged to include him in the conversation. It's awkward, and it spoils the time we had planned together.
This has happened on several occasions now, and it's starting to affect our friendship. I've tried mentioning it to her, but she doesn't think there's anything wrong with the situation. I'm not sure what to do next.

That is so tragic. How someone's life can be ruined by one person 😢. Your friend was aware of it as well. I don't know whether my friend is in denial or so brainwashed that she doesn't realise something is seriously wrong. I have mentioned it in the past but she laughed it off like I was overreacting.

Long term I don't know. He was successful in his attempts to stop her seeing me and managed to get her to believe I was against her. I had gently suggested a few times that there was something "off" about the tale of why he split with his ex and didn't see his kids, packed work in shortly after they met and he moved in with her, wouldn't let her socialise... the list goes on. We made several arrangements to meet where she cancelled 11th hour and then we met up and she told me that I was a terrible person, I was trying to control her, control who she spent time with, take advantage of her etc. She seemed furious with me, god knows what he had managed to get her to believe, but basically, everything he was doing to her, it was so ironic. He was ultimately very clever and got what he wanted I presume, which was her not knowing what day it was, pinging between work and home, under lock and key, paying for everything living like a hostage. It's tragic.

Could you look at him and say.." are you one of those weird husbands who tracks his wife..l read about those but didn't think you would be one of them!"

Maybe next time he turns up you could talk about your bowl movements or your period, in great detail for a long time. 🙈

I think confronting her husband would be dangerous and further isolating for your friend, keep seeing her, look up the resources for da and be there for her when she’s ready to accept she’s in an abusive relationship. And don’t be fooled, you might not think he’s violent but maybe that’s because your friend does as he date or there are repercussions.

stay close to her,in the hope that she discusses this with you and be ready to respond with your openion.important not to frighten her,when she is ready,be her strong friend and help her..if you overstep when she is not ready she could isolate from you,,mistakenly telling him what you said for example...