Glam & Fab Part 6 - The Summer of Discontent

[Tanee58]

Hope you all find your way onto this new one !

Morning all just swapped our boradband so have been offline a few days.

Just had qucik catch up at least you haven't all been talking too much.

I am so sick of this rain but at least it held off enough for ds sports day yesterday

TFM sounds like a lovely weekend it's lovely to see al your posts are so happy

UC i guess you will know when the time comes to stop fighting for it. I think the speration agreement is a good idea anyway for security for you and the ds.

Dior well done and belated happy birthday to DS.

PC glad you have found some useful info at least it helps you make informed choice!

LL know what you mean r/e the does he desreve me, will he do it again. Have had many convos like this with HW but guess we will never know just a day at a time and you can only hope they would never hurt you like that again.

Ginny so about dp what a waste and a shame he can't see what he is loosing.

Tannee hope you can get down to Derbyshire this weekend !

McD hope you feeling a little better and bless your dd what a lovel;y little girl

lily, is your dp still available to give mortgage advice?

PC give him ring he will be able to help i'm sure !

it's for a friend actually. would that be okay?

yes fine it won't go through him as his buisness finshed but he putting it through his friend if that ok tell them to ring

Paddlechick - I thought the same about Halvorsen. Was also interested (though not surprised) to note that he had vaccinated many doctors children. Sorry MacD - not trying to be provocative I know your view is probably the majority one in medical circles. By the way, what a lovely thing for your dd to say. What a sweetie I admire you so much for the way you are dealing with such an awful situation.

TFM - glad you had a great time at the races Glad you won some money too

Lily - thanks. I hope one day I will be more sure.

Ginnny - how are you?

ladies not sure if this thread any use to any of you with dc's

Hi.
Had a rubbish day from start to finish. Argued with xp constantly all day - how I'm going to get through 2 weeks without killing him I don't know.
I checked credit card bill online today to find that he's used it at Strada (and several pubs), which is where we would have gone for our anniversary. I went mental! Then he has a go at me for being suspicious. He says he went with his mate (which I believe) but he just can't understand why I was so upset. It went from bad to worse and he phoned tonight pissed up again and ended up calling me a whore
And I had to take the kitten to the vets for his jabs this afternoon and ds2 had a nosebleed in the middle of the waiting room. I just wanted to cry and shout and lose it, but I held it together, got everyone in the car and just about made it home!
I'll be glad when today is over!!!

Message withdrawn

ginnny and

Oh Ginny - hugs and hugs - been lurking not felt up to posting but couldn't let that go... H called me some horrid names when he was pissed - why do they think that is ever acceptable Why on earth do we let them do that chin up xxx

Oh ginny - so sorry.
Men can be really thick cant they? He cant understand why you are upset.

Try not to think about how badly the holiday will go - try and get yourself a good book or something and relax and enjoy the different routine. But i know i would be crap at that so will be thinking about you.

We have had some fantastic weather here and i have been getting out in the garden and have even cleared the pond.

H has been doing his favourite thing (spending money!!) We have just ordered some new sofas - our old ones have been in 3 houses now and just dont 'go' with anything.

Anyway he is determined to keep the economy afloat on his own .

Going away for a couple of nights now to see friends so hope you all have a good few days.

Have a good time HW.
Thinking about it this morning, I am glad that he did that to me yesterday. Any chance I may have had of weakening and warming to him on holiday has blown right out the window.
Now, whenever I start thinking he's not that bad, and the anger starts waning I am going to make myself think of his voice on the phone last night.
I've never been spoken to like that in my life by anyone. He's really pushed the limit this time.
Saw his dd last night and she is as annoyed with him as I am. I reassured her that we will have a great holiday with or without him and if he goes on the piss on holiday (which he probably will) he's on his own.
Its amazing how much stronger I feel after a good nights sleep!
Hope everyone has a good day today

How lovely of you to say that to reassure his dd i am sure she is glad you are there, poor girl my heart goes out to her it must be very hard to understand as adults it makes no sense but to a child ...
He seems to still be sliding Ginny he will be lucky if you are there at the bottom

HW lovely weather the rain has yet to stop ....

McD you sound down again hope your ok ?

Heard a caller on the radio today talking of being hurt when her partner had an affair and a whole sorry story how she forgave him but he carried on the affiar and she caught them etc. etc. they then played a song for her and i ended up crying Why does it always hit you like that ? I have been fine for ages and then something out of the blue reminds me and i feel really down today Guess this is never going to go away ?

I think it will always affect you in some way Lily, but in time the pain will get less and less. Could it be that it affected you today because your dh is back at work and not working for himself anymore?I'm sorry you are feeling so down. He's very lucky to have you and I'm sure he knows this.
When I found the credit card bill yesterday, for a split second my mind said "other woman" and I felt totally winded and sick. Then common sense kicked in and I knew it wouldn't be that but I did remember that feeling. You, HW, Baffy, Macd and anyone else who has forgiven them after an affair are totally amazing and have my utmost repect. I know I couldn't do it, even if I wanted to.

Ginny yes definately getting used to him working back in town isn't easy. Esp today as he in swanky hotel with free bar
It isn't so much the actual 'affair' which i don't think about too much anymore it's the fact that he has made this a part of my life iyswim and i am the one left to deal with it whilst he moves on!
Ignore think it's pmt too Nothing a new hair cut tom and a girly night at the pics on Fri won't fix

Message withdrawn

hi all, as usual stupidly busy here.

we are off to another festival tomorrow. H is saying all the right things about having a nice time and giving me a break etc which is lovely.

but, i'm the one who's shopping/packing/cooking/baking etc etc. as well as organising new agent etc. all he has to do is get up in the morning and sling a bag in the back and drive down.

anyhoooo! ginny, gutted for you that you;re having to go thru this. you do have to get to rock bottom before you turn your back eh? and fwiw, i've thought i've been at the bottom when in fact I wasn't.

in a weird way, as things improve on an amicable basis with H actually staying in touch etc I am questioning whether I want a future with him at any other level.

dior, fwiw, i think your reaction is totally normal. i have no experience and may well be talking utter tripe so forgive me if i am but don't rush back into upping your dose.

obviously when stressful situations crop up it will be difficult to know if you're coping differently due to the reduction in meds or if your reactions are justified.

when it comes to bullying, i think you're justified in having a strong reaction!

Oh dior - it sounds as if you have end of term tiredness too . I know you will do the best thing wrt to ads but good luck anyway and hope you feel a bit better soon. Just think - six lovely weeks of schools out what more could you want??
Here pass the ads over here too .

Lily - it will always be a part of your life now and there will always be something to remind you - but i bet there are things that remind him too from time to time. But i do know what you mean about it being up to us to sort it all out whilst it appears they have just moved on and getting on with their own lives.
Go get that haircut and dont even begin to feel a bit guilty about planning a night out. Wish i could take my own advice more as i know i need a few nights out but always put the dc and even dh first .

Sorry to say sun still shinning here .

Hi all,

PC at you - another festival! DD is looking forward to V & I am hoping it won't deafen me!

Dior - hope you manage to settle soon without increasing your dose - DS's bullying can't be helping. I have zero tolerance of bullies, having suffered myself and it left me feeling insecure about friendships for the rest of my life! Really hope his school sort it out. Do they seem sympathetic and proactive?

I am going to Derbyshire - though had one of those slightly inconclusive conversations with DP earlier which left me wanting to shake him. I know it's difficult to plan because of the weather: if it's dry, two of the company will camp in a tent and a room will be available for us, if it's wet, we would have to sleep in the van. And there will be space for me to travel in the van, but it will be cramped and the others may feel put out (but the spare seat would normally be occupied by another actor, it's only free because the company is smaller this year). I virtually said to him, if it's going to be inconvenient and you don't want to feel you're putting people out by having me along, just say so! But he was umming and aahing and yawning till I could have screamed. Eventually he said he wanted me to come (not falling over himself with enthusiasm but there you go and I tried not to ask leading questions like DO YOU BLOODY WANT ME TO COME OR NOT!!!). I still feel like he's not my old DP - something's missing and I half wonder whether I'm just letting myself in for a disappointing weekend. But the alternative is not to see him till the week after next, and then he'll be home with all the lack of time together that that involves with me working. Can't win, really...

Still, Eyam is lovely, and I shall enjoy walks on the hills.

And I walked again today !

Just a bit tired and fed up here - all a bit relentless TBH and PC that feeling of annoyance that you are doing everything and they saunter in AND then act like they are doing you a big favour ....I so get that!
Tonight my night out - H babysits and usually stays ......
But all busy end of term and I am just knackered - parents eve today 4:30pm H supposed to come he has no problem closing early to go to pub...but no cos he has to babysit tonight he doesn't want to come so he can squeeze a few pints in first
DD1 in afterschool club end of term party - so my day is been busy all morning doing housework, shopping with baby for presents for teachers, home feed baby, play with baby (MN really while she plays ), to paerents eve by myself with baby, pick up DD1, home feed both, bath baby put baby to bed, get ready myself and have to have my work appraisal first at 7pm (no other time to do it)..pick up friend and finally get out...so ask him what time he will be here and he says will be there by 7pm - umm I say I need to be at work by 7pm and I need to get changed any chance he could come earlier to help and take over with DD2 bedtime (he will do DD1 later but she is easy)...so he grunts humphs and says ok 6:30 (bloody hell I need to shower change etc).......so get angry say whatever and put phone down - and he phone back to ask what the hell is wrong with ME !!!!! Does he really not get it....I feel like all his words were just that empty woprds to keep me hanging on another 6 months ...things will never ever change why am I kidding myself.....
On a happy note - have invited my mum to stay over xmas - have never been able to before cos H wanted just us here (despite the fact he would go to pub xmas aft/eve YES really and almost all day Boxing Day leaving me alone with DD1)...so this year I thought well stuff him I want my mum here and she is soooooo pleased

McD you will have such a lovely Christmas with your Mum - and you can do things exactly as YOU want!

Stuff him - men - maybe it's because it's humid and stuffy at work, but I really could just put the entire male sex in a spaceship and shoot them off to God Knows Where!

at you talking about Christmas!!!
Sorry he's reverting to type MacD. They seem so full of good intentions but rarely carry it through do they.
PC am so at you going to another festival. Hope you have a wonderful time. Looking forward to seeing the pics on FB.
Dior - I would have reacted the same way to the bullying as you tbh and I'm not on AD's at all.
Tannee - hope the weekend turns out better than expected and you get some quality time with dp.
I've been arguing with him again. This relationship has been a dead duck for months now and we're clinging on to something for the sake of the holiday. He said today he wants to cancel it, but I said I'm going with all 3 kids and if he doesn't want to come thats up to him. Now I'm shitting myself about getting to the airport and getting on a plane on my own. Might just have to face the fear and do it!!!

Oh yes and no surprise that it is MY fault he called me a whore. I wound him up

Ginny, that sounds a brilliant idea - go without him. After all, why would he want to go on hols with a whore?. YOU CAN do it. Feel the fear and do it anyway !! It's really not that bad (I managed to get myself to small German towns twice in the last couple of years despite my German being fairly minimal). The kids will be fine if you provide them with things to do and maybe put them in charge of their own bags to make them feel responsible and grown up. If P's DD goes too, won't she be a help, after all, she sounds very grown up and reliable. And do you have any friends who would like to step into his place and go with you?