Glam & Fab Part 6 - The Summer of Discontent

[Tanee58]

Hope you all find your way onto this new one !

Baffy, have a great time - we may take you up on your offer !!

Good advice PC.
But baffy also dont be scared to make ultimatums either - maybe take this time to think how YOU want things to work out from now on.
I hate asking h if there has been any contact and at first he hated telling me - but now it is one of the conditions - i still get upset but he knows i need to know. OW has again of course started to work her way back in - still hoping to take some of his workload from him .
I still sometimes wish i had made the demand that one of them had to leave (however the way things are turning out is even better) - looks as if profit (which means pay for h) will be far lower this year. But we dont care because he is getting a 'joining bonus' when he starts his new job .

Anyway before i waffled i just wanted to say try and think of ways your needs can now be met and if that means that h has to call you every night and tell you his whereabouts dont feel bad about it - although i understand this does appear needy. If he does call make sure you are 'not available' at least once too.
I really hope it does work out and he really does come up to the mark this time.

Thanks PC

(I can't resist checking back when I've posted something like that! )

I think you're spot on. If he really is committed then this is his chance to show it. And also chance for both of us to have some breathing space and thinking time.

Very true that if he does go back there now, when he's supposedly giving us everything he has, then there really was no hope anyway.

Just so bloody hard!

He definietly couldn't come I couldn't afford to pay for him just now anyway!

I'm going to do my very best to have a good time. I don't even mind the contact with her. I accept he'll be in contact with her forever! I just want it to be constructive contact. And honest. With them both understanding that I matter too! And not her playing games and him falling back into her arms!
I'm asking too much aren't I?!

I know if this is ever to work though I need to get past this first hurdle and start rebuilding some trust.

I guess this is the perfect opportunity!

Tanee you'll love it!

Thanks HW

I'm so used to not knowing where he is that I think a lot of the time I'd rather not know. IYSIM. If the day comes when we live together again I think I'll feel differently.

But for the moment, I know he will be seeing and speaking to her and I know I have to accept that. I'd just rather not know when it's happening so I don't get all upset about it. If that makes any sense at all!

I will definitely be making it clear what I want and need now though. It's got to work both ways and I need him to start being the husband I deserve.

We'll see...

Great news about the joining bonus (and their lack of profit) too!

Deep heat patches are very good for sore backs

HW - glad you are feeling better. If it's the pills I must get some! It's funny to think that not so many years ago housewives would use speed as a pick me up, appetite suppressant and housework aid I gave my rings back to h back in February and told him not to bother returning them until he was sure he was over his issues and could honour his vows. He since told me he is waiting for the right time to return them to me as though sure in himself he feels that he needs to demonstrate it to me. Not sure how he will do this though Ow still working there. Wish she would bugger off. H got interview next week so hopeful that they won't always be working together.

Baffy - feel for you. Want to say keep the faith, but h hasn't given you the foundation you need for such trust - yet. I do agree that if he can't be trusted for 10 days whilst you are away, then he is not yet ready. Are you going to keep in touch with him while you're away? at baby clothes. They still get me every time when shopping for ds (have had a few m/c)so I can imagine how painful a reminder they are for you in your situation. I hope despite everything that you and ds (and your family) are able to have a lovely holiday.

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Can i come too? We are off to spain in August - it looks like a lovely villa on the beach but who knows when you only see it on a computer - we will see. Are you able to tell us where it is?

I am secretly glad about the decrease in profits as it looks as if they will be down for a few years - shame (epecially now ow is paid like that too).
Whereas new firm is less likely to be governed by market forces - and his pay is not going to be dependant on making a profit at all. Holidays here we come .

Thanks so much LL xx

Will let you all know on FB where the villa is. You're all welcome any time!

Right I really am off now. Lots of love to everyone xx

LL - really feel for you with the ow still working there - it is hard, does your h find it hard?
It actually didnt torture me as much as i thought it would - she was the one who couldnt handle it and got moved to a new dept. But as i predicted she couldnt leave it alone and so started backstabbing - which actually gave h the perfect excuse to look for another job. He has been so lucky (but he is brilliant at what he does and even though he doubted himself i knew he would have no trouble finding another job). His firm i am sure regret that they did not 'sort it' out sooner and have now put in some policies .
I know that some of the other managers already 'blame' her for his departure which again is a real shame.

would be lovely to do a spa trip one day - somewhere all of us could get to

Dior - i have suffered the end of term tiredness too.
Have you got much planned for the hols - maybe we could meet at the zoo sometime, its always better when there is another adult. I am about to check out the tesco vouchers to order my day out vouchers.

LL where are you in the world? I would love a spa day - although a weekend would be so much better .

Ultimatums are only as good as your resolve to carry them out.

I'm rubbish at carrying them out so I try never to make them.

That's not to say you're perfectly within your rights to make some conditions/demands etc.

At least you know that if anything "untoward" happens OW is enough of a fruit loop to let you know so H can't fudge it.

hopefully he knows it too eh!

Know what you mean about not knowing where they are half the time as well. I'd rather just not know where H is then I don't have to get arsey about him being out with mates/with the other dc etc etc.

Villa on the beach sounds fantastic. I'd love a TeaBag holiday, we'd have a total blast.

HW I am in Surrey/South London but I can always jump on a train

LL - will have to meet up in london sometime - although be prepared for rain.

ohh im not supposed to be on here trying to get some work done but had to say have a great holiday Baffy.

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Am in London first week of school hols from 19 July prob till the Wed 23 July(OW baby 1st birthday so am running away to my sis to hide )...Any chance of you Londoners meeting up then so I can join you???? My DD1 LOVEs animals so zoo would be good ?????
Baffy sorry missed all that - have fun sit tight - if you can't trust him now for 10 days then no hope for the future
Struggling a bit here finances in a downward spiral (lost tenants for our shop so gotta find what their rent usually covers for business loan and the business rates and my HUGE tax bill due this month and have spent all my tax savings ).....
It never rains but pours

Hi everyone. Put me down for the Teabag holiday/spa day!!
I've actually had a really good day. I met my friend for lunch in a swanky hotel and we spent all afternoon on comfy sofas chatting. Its so funny that 20 years ago we were both single and moaning about men, and here we are again, still single and moaning about men . She's in much the same situation as me except her dh does coke .
I've changed my status on FB to single and I've been swamped with calls and emails all offering support. That's not why I did it though, it was more trying to make it all seem real and to make a point that I am serious this time.
I've spoken to him twice today, the second time he was plastered so I've switched off my phone. I'm going on a girls night out tomorrow with friend from today and another of our friends who has just got divorced so I'm keeping as busy as I can to stop myself thinking too hard!
Baffy - enjoy your holiday and try not to fret about what he's up to. Stay in contact with him and let him know you are having a great time.
MacD - I will be on the dreaded holiday when you are in London, we are destined never to meet I think
TFM - I hope you are OK, and that dp's gran is well too.
Off to bed now!!!

I wish we had a sofa bed

OMG Have to confess to laughing initially. I have a sick sense of humour Poor woman. She'll have to get a new sofa now.

Yeah im sick too I saw the sofa item in news on MSN and have to confess to having a bit of a laugh, although I do feel terribly sorry for her. Can you imagine the conversation in the street.

"oh how did your husband die"

"I folded him into a sofa bed"

Mortifying.

TFM has the perfect murder researched if you are interested

How are you doing Ginny - I saw your update on FB but am trying to stay off the computer, I have so much to do and just get sucked in once I get on here.

What a drastic method of dealing with a layabout husband. I have never seen sofabeds like that before. Probably banned here due to safety reasons

Spa day sounds good

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