would you lot stop bloody talking so much!
by the time I've read the posts there's been heaps more adn I don't have any time left to post myself!
Wily, FB can be as open or as closed as you wish.
Lock your security down to only allow Friends to view any area of your profile.
If a random or aquantance pokes you, messages you etc, create a limited profile view and add them to it before you respond.
I'm not 100% sure how all the apps work. They're not policed by FB as anyone can right an app and put it out there.
I've heaps of the bloody things and tbh I never look at my own profile. Everything I need to see/know is on the home page.
Baffy, glad you're back. As I said, do what's right for you right now. That might change tomorrow and you might find yourself doing something else that's right for you then. Life changes by the day.
FWIW, I think you are right to allow H to prove himself by his actions.
I'm really glad that he was making the right moves/noises before OW dropped the babybomb. At least you can have some assurance that he was moving in the right direction ahead of that.
However, IME when the bomb drops from OW it can accelerate their trajectory back into your orbit.
I have no doubt whatsoever in your ability to withstand the constant presence and pressure of OW. I'm not so certain about H tho.
I believe if you stand together, communicate and have 100% honesty in everything going forward that you, as a couple, can make it work.
The weak link will be H not realising just how tough it will be for him and doing silly things like lying by omission etc in misguided attempts to protect you.
That was where the rot started IME and once a chink was spotted it was completely exploited.
There are no rules here, there is no clock ticking or deadline for you to meet.
Take your time, see how things pan out and how you all react to them.
There are no wrong decisions just different paths and if this path gets too rocky you can try another any time.