The Dating Thread 60 - Summer Fling!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

What a busy weekend it's been for everyone!

I'm still with Mr Hat.. spent all day yesterday together and I decided to take the day off so we're going to the cinema. Things were better... Which was a relief but still room for improvement. I think he's very keen which is obviously making my walls go up.

Met Mr Mullet briefly for lunch on Friday and comms have been sparse since. We're supposed to be going to an event together on Thursday so I'll see if that actually happens.

Mr Hat seems ok. Is he the one with...a disadvantage?!

That's him. He's pretty rough around the edges but there's something about him I really like!

Tmi warning but MrX had the biggest and best I have EVER seen. If I could add that to planes' body...I would still not have a man of character.

Ah - don’t they all have to have the best you’ve ever seen - and usually the biggest, unless they really really have to accept it can’t be - lol.

Must have been good to be able to be completely truthful for once though ha!

Enjoy Mr Hat then - it’s that ‘something’ we can never define I guess!

Seems more promising than Mullet at least in comms and not messaging other dates - which is good for the self esteem at least.

CleanShirt I'm glad that things are going well, in general, with Mr Hat.

Oh wow, so much to catch up on! Sounds like some really positive things in the offing: @CleanShirt I am pleased things were better with Mr Hat. I am still up for a seminar with Mr Physics...

Mr Physics continues to be delightful. He offered to come round and fix my garden shed (not a euphemism) yesterday. He is kind, practical, financially independent and responsible. He is also an excellent father, which is very important to me.

I think we process things emotionally in slightly different ways - he is very logical, where as I am a bit more emotionally driven, but we are good at talking things through and understanding each other's perspective.

I am going to have a chat with him about the sexual side of things when I see him this week.

Financial independence is an absolute hard line for me. I am no-one's sugar mummy, and I see it as indicative of their values as a whole - these things appear small, but they are not.

Mr Comedy has just cancelled our date tomorrow out if nowhere - I'm genuinely really surprised. He seemed so keen!

He said it was because he is suffering from work stress and anxiety and is not in a good place for dating, and that he really regretted having to say this to me.....

Whether this it the truth or not, I guess we'll never know.....

I am wondering if I played it to cool and should have seemed keener?

I would take that at face value and I'm sure it's nothing you've done.

You will never know his true reasons but there's every chance that he's being genuine with that response, so try not to over-think it. You are awesome after-all!

I've sent a nice reply telling him I understand and to message me if things change, but I won't hold my breath.

I have now had 9 first dates this round and not a single second date! Yet I march onwards, head unbowed..... Three more first dates this week (unless they cancel). Maybe one of them will be the one. Also got another couple of irons I am chatting to. Could be worse.

You're doing well.

I think a lot of first dates and very few second dates is normal - it has been my experience anyway so that's two of us 😁

Aw @Ilovelurchers how disappointing. I agree with @Nosdacariad, nothing you can do and absolutely nothing you've done.

Mr Hat has just left after a mammoth 34 hour date. He's really lovely but wondering if he might be a little much for me - he's a little loud and like I said, very rough around the edges. Not an ounce of bad in him tho. Maybe I'm just a bit people'd out!

Feeling quite glum about Mr Mullet. I barley heard from him on Sunday which usually means he's on a date. Little bit of a kicker. Some chat today but says he's not feeling well.

I'm aware how hypocritical I sound after spending so much time with Mr Hat! But it does make me sad. Think I'm going to start doing some real detachment work.

@CleanShirt you might be tired-sad maybe?

Is Mullet the guy texting other women? Is it time to let him go?

Sorry you are feeling low, CleanShirt. Would it be better for you to not keep seeing Mullet maybe? Difficult when you like them though.

@ilovelurchersSoory about Mr Comedy. It’s it worth the energy wondering if it was something you did. Even if it was something that put him off, that’s not doing anything wrong, it just wasn’t a fit.

@Nosdacariad @NervesOfCotton yeah that's him. I'm really giving detachment a good go and trying to match his energy but it's difficult. I can see a "sorry but" message coming re Thursday.

@CleanShirtSorry to hear you’re a bit down about Mr Mullet. It’s hard to stay detached isn’t it? But I’m glad you had a good time with Mr Hat. 34 hours is a decent run!

CleanShirt Difficult. It could also be holding you back with Mr Hat, because you are still preferring Mullet.

Yes this is in my mind too. That's the longest I've spent with anyone outside of holidaying with friends in a LONG time as well! I was quite tired and ready for him to go (in a nice way!)

So is it Mullet you are supposed to be seeing on Thursday? When are you seeing Hat again?

I know that you have some reservations about Hat, but it is a long time to spend together isn't it, like you say, so he must tick some boxes

Oh definitely. He's an absolute walking green flag but the exact opposite of everything I ever go for in a man! He's great company, sex is getting better and he's very considerate.

We've loose plans to get together at the weekend. Yes Thursday is supposed to be an event with Mr Mullet.

@CleanShirt It may be different for you but if there is a preferred man (one I'm bonded to) then others don't seem right.

I think it's the comparison. At the moment they're just not planes (in my case).

Yeah that makes sense. He's just not Mullet (he's actually a much more respectful human being... Sure my brain will catch up soon).