Husband said he wants to spilt up and I’ve been totally blindsided - part 3

[mummy917]

Just another follow on thread from the last 2 😊

It will be interesting to see how quickly he responds to the divorce petition, whether he responds quickly or drags his heals and refuses to respond.

Oh and has he taken the kids out for dinner tonight?

i suspect the latter, claiming that the OP is still being controlling! I mean she is, but over her own life and future, the fact that it also involves him is just side effect!

Don't be letting him have your duvets for his next access OP. He's had plenty of time now to get his own.

He’s got until 16th July to respond and if he hasn’t, they will instruct me on how to proceed with it regardless.

No, he hasn’t. Thankfully they knew nothing about those loose plans he made so they’re not disappointed. He said he would need to sit down and go through the information I’d given on the divorce and whether he agrees with it, so that was his reason why he couldn’t take them out tonight. As always, it’s somehow turned round to be my fault 🙄

He’s gotten them now so he says, his Blue Peter badge is in the post 🤣

Divorce has changed a bit so I’m not entirely sure how long they give you to respond.

Is it still 14 days OP? If it is and he doesn’t respond in that time I wouldn’t say anything to him but I would request Bailiff service of the Petition.

The Judge will want to know that he’s either responded or it’s been served on him so that they are satisfied he is aware of the proceedings.

Whether he responds quickly or not, I wouldn’t say anything spend the time working on your financial settlement.

Has he agreed to the parenting app yet?

Let the DC down again. He's got 14 days to read the papers and consider them. That shouldn't stop him picking up the DC as arranged nor should it excuse cancelling on them at the last minute.

Hope you can put that in the parenting app or message thread. to make it clear that he cancels at the least excuse.

Keep track ... failed once again to have his own children as planned for a bogus reason he tried to pin on you. Not even close to 50/50 if he keeps going like this....

Oh because he couldn’t possibly do it tomorrow, or over the weekend when he has 3 days off doing nothing, he HAD to read it tonight. Divorces are no fault anyway now so what is there to agree or disagree with?! Every time he complains about you filing just say to him, that this is what he wanted. He doesn’t want to be married to you anymore and as he has no money you thought that you’d pay to get it done.

Yeah it’s still 14 days. To be honest, I’d planned a dinner in the garden for us as I knew he’d not be turning up. If it hadn’t been the “divorce papers”, there’d have been another excuse unfortunately.

He didn’t agree to a parenting app so we are still doing things via WhatsApp and I have made sure they’re saved to my iCloud also, as well as screenshotted.

Oh OP his response to your divorce is priceless- ironic that he has been criticising your "control" for so long when you were doing anything but. Now you are actually taking control of your life and your childrens', he HATES it.

I know you keep mentioning a crash, but the more I read , the more I think maybe it isn't going to happen- he's becoming so unlikeable I really don't think you'll find anything to miss.

This is a masterclass in how to rise above the shit, you're doing superbly!

Dinner in the garden with your lovely little ones, without His Royal Twatness whinging on, sounds much nicer.

Touché. He thought he knew you. Now he finds he doesn’t. Welcome TTML to the world mummy917 has lived in for months. Two can be different, unpredictable people can’t they? Oh, he’s on the back foot!

I bet he is gutted to get those divorce papers so soon. I expect he thought he could keep you on the back burner for when - not if - his fantasy life imploded and he could just come back to you as if nothing had happened. As if.

Are we taking bets on how many messages and phone calls the OP will be getting tonight berating her and telling her how controlling she is. Personally I think she should just reply with “This is what you wanted” to every single one.

“he would need to sit down and go through the information I’d given on the divorce and whether he agrees with it”
He told you he didn’t want to be married to you any more, he was tired of you being controlling, left the family home and yet he needs to sit down and see if he agrees with the information you’ve given.
One would assume he would be thanking his lucky stars that he doesn’t have to pay to be apart from someone he says he doesn’t want to be with…
He is such a numpty, enjoy your garden tea with the kids and raise a glass of something cold to getting the ball rolling in getting rid of such a piece of work.
He must have thought when he left you’d be crying yourself to sleep and begging him to come back, his pride must be severely dented that not only are you managing just fine, you will in time also thrive x

There’s not really anything for him to agree or disagree with to be fair, it’s mainly just standard information and then he’ll need to add his own, stuff like his address etc I would imagine. I didn’t choose a specific reason for the divorce, there wasn’t an option to do that, so it’s not like he could dispute that bit.

So far I haven’t heard anything from him but the night is still young really.

We had a lovely tea in the garden and I’ll raise a glass of Pepsi max to the divorce as that’s my drink of choice most of the time 🤣 I’m about to get into bed too and I’m still(!) working my way through Clarkson’s farm xx

And I’ll raise my cup of tea to you. I’ve said this before but you are dealing with this like a Queen 👑

He must be really pissed off that you have started the divorce proceedings as it’s proof that you don’t want him back or need him back , brilliant move @mummy917 .

Here’s to you OP you absolute legend. And to all the strong and amazing women on this thread who’ve been through similar or contributed brilliant advice

Yeah you have blindsided him there. I do agree he probably thinks you would take him back at any point and is shocked by how well you are actually coping without him. Sounds like he wasn’t that great anyway…..

Why wouldn’t he agree to a parenting app? Some feeble excuse i’m sure. It seems yet more small ways he is trying to stay in control despite blaming @mummy917 for being the controlling one. I think not.

@lessglittermoremud THIS.

Oh my heavens, in bed with Jeremy Clarkson, don't let soon to be ex find out. 🤗

Absolutely perfect!! 😂

Like others have said, why was he so put out? It’s what he wanted. He doesn’t like the fact that the communication channels have closed down? He wanted a heads up? WTAF?

Clever? Yes, indeed!!

And the fact that he had to read the paperwork tonight rather than see the kids, just perfectly highlights where they sit in his priorities and how self focused he is. He doesn’t really want to see them that much, he just doesn’t want to have to pay you. Frankly they deserve better, and you’re making sure they get that.

Sure, he’s got something important to deal with, and may be distracted a bit by that, however most grownups would have still seen the children and come back to it another time, especially when it’s what he bloody wants apparently anyway.

He really is a prize prat!!

Ref. Parenting App, if you can somehow make him think it’s his idea… 😉 But for now, you’ve got it covered, that’s the main thing.

Sleep well!