Husband said he wants to spilt up and I’ve been totally blindsided - part 3

[mummy917]

Just another follow on thread from the last 2 😊

Well OP, he has always accused you of being controlling, now he knows what it actually looks like when you really do take control, and he doesn't like it at all.

Why he is so surprised? He’s left his wife and children and set up another home?
What was he expecting? That you sit and hold vigil crying into a tea towel every night, no doubt.
I think these men even after they’ve left actually take comfort in their wife suffering. It’s like she is an insurance policy.
Policy now cancelled.

Ah bless him, he thought you would ask permission first? 😂

OP, you’re supposed to be sobbing at home, wanting him back …… !

I do think he expected me to be a sobbing mess for months to come yet. I mean, I expected that too and so far I’ve been pleasantly surprised. It helps to keep reminding myself of how he’s treated me and the kids and that brings me back to reality.

Poor chap is most likely confused that you haven't started the begging him to come back yet! 😂

Well done, you're doing great - for you and for your children. Respect.

Oh dear.
Who's "blindsided" now?
There we are then.

Now That's What I Call Controlling, There We Are Then, Greatest Hits July 2026.

Yes. His turn to be ‘blindsided’. Bless. Mattress promising twat.

He does not like having every bit of control does he! I would honestly recommend not answering calls in future so all contact is in writing in case he escalates his arsehole behaviour, which I would expect. He wont like you taking control so may well try and do something to feel like he is regaining some control.

But well done, thats awesome

He didn’t want to be married to you any longer so what’s the point of dragging it out. The best bit for him is that you’ve paid for it too, quite frankly you’d think he’d be thrilled that you’d started the ball rolling.

A positive for you, he doesn’t appear to hold his cards close to his chest. He wants your marriage to be over, he moved out, and now he’s calling you about you having the cheek to file for divorce i.e. what he’s been saying he wants. To call you and make clear that your doing that has got to him!

I think he wants to keep his options open. I still believe there is another Woman but he’s got it in his head that if it doesn’t work out, he would have talked you into taking him back. No he’s cross that you’re stronger than he gave you credit for and that you are taking some control.

Now the really important bit is seeing a Solicitor regarding the Financial Agreement

Tee hee, you're fabulous @mummy917 !

As you say, he clearly expected you to be a sobbing mess and the fact that you're eager to be rid of him is a huge shock. Serves him right for being a twat, doesn't it.

Well, if you could trust him to keep to his end of the bargain re the informal arrangements you've made so far, such as repaying you for the cost of the mattresses, it wouldn't be quite so important for you to formalise matters this quickly. But he's shown you he's not to be trusted, so the formal route ASAP it is. There we are then, indeed.

Well done on taking back some control and filing for divorce from Twattoo Mattress Twat. Getting your ducks in a row for your financial consent order is really important to ensure you protect yourself and your pension and any future assets from him.

What’s his problem anyway? Oh how dare you do something he wanted done AND pay for it? Oh the audacity 😆 🙄 I would have asked him exactly what he was complaining about. Like “What’s the problem exactly? You’re an awful moaning Minnie”.

Evidently it was supposed to be done when and how he wanted it (and by magic apparently as he’s too skint and lazy to do the work) Now who is controlling!

He’s actually just mad that you are taking control of your own life. He wants you sat about pinning after him.

Also, one of these nights he’s going to be lying in bed and have the realisation about “there we are then” 🤣

Or better still, years from now when he’s all miserable and complaining to whomever will listen about how his ex was a meanie and at the end all she would say was “there we are then”, they will point it out to him.

Oh I really do hope so!

Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s telling himself that this is about the mattresses.

Oh dear! Poor wee man sounds very cross that you are divorcing him. This is not playing out as he'd hoped...

(continues to live with OP, who cares for his 4 children, whilst treating her like a slave and tossing the ocassional crumb)

Yes this definitely hasn’t gone the way he’d planned at the start I don’t think. I think it’s dented his pride that I’m actually the one now divorcing him.

And don’t worry, I ticked yes when it asked if I was going to need a financial consent order. All my finances will be well and truly protected from him. Those are now for me and the kids, nobody else.

I think you’re being very kind to him. He wanted the divorce. He’s so skint he can’t pay you back for the mattresses you bought so you’ve very generously paid for the divorce he wants. He should be thanking you, not getting pissed off. Nob.

I am glad I’ve managed to pay for the divorce, it’s given me peace of mind which is priceless after everything that’s happened. It gives me great peace of mind knowing I’m doing the right thing for the kids and myself 😊