Husband said he wants to spilt up and I’ve been totally blindsided - part 3

[mummy917]

Just another follow on thread from the last 2 😊

It's not your fault. Absolutely not. And I hope you haven't thought I'm saying you've been 'stupid' about 50/50 splits. He's veering between being stunningly stupid about how to run a house with children, and outright playing you. Because come what may, you'll do whatever the children need. And you (quite rightly) trusted him to behave like a reasonably thoughtful father. Definitely get DCs' clothes and shoes over to his place. He's unkind and vindictive and he's bound to try and dump all clothes purchases as they grow on you. Chin up. You're admirable.

Divorce application done and sent off to husband for review 🥳

Bravo @OP

👏

Well done OP, hope it feels good to take some control.

Well done and from what others have said about the process I am sure you have done the right thing. Brace yourself for incoming batshittery though.

Good for you OP. 😎

Well done on the divorce, great to be in charge of it! My XH has recently moved 100 miles away after not seeing our DD for the last 15 months, hasn't even told us, I just found out through mutual friends. About 18 months ago he was all for 50/50 custody. So hold on to your seat, you could be in for a bumpy ride... Glad you can already see how different a person he is, I don't recognise mine at all now.

@mummy917

Very good!!! You've just taken your first steps into a wonderful, bright future. The journey may get a bit bumpy along the way, but you will emerge happier, stronger, and more confident.

Oh well done!

Yay well done @mummy917 - have you told him you’ve done it all will it be a nice little surprise in his inbox?

You’ve probably said but what assets are there to sort? Does he have bigger pensions than you, what about the house? Just keep taking small steps.

I’ve a strong instinct on your behalf that he’ll never manage 50:50. Unless his Mum does continue to step into that role which she may do, if the first weekend is anything to go by.

Good for you!

Well done! Look at how far you’ve come since your first thread.
His ego is so big he has no idea has he?

👌

I got a phone call from him asking why I’d done it as I didn’t tell him 🤣 I said because I didn’t want to still be legally married to him by the end of 2027 and if I waited for him I would be. He asked me if I thought I was clever and I said yes, there we are then and ended the call.

Love it!!! Well done 😊😊

I bet he had some serious feelings about that OP 🤣 Well done!

Cleverer than him, that's for sure! Well done, it must feel good to take back some control, you deserve SO much better 💐

Brilliant OP. You pulled the rug from right under his feet. Love it. Well done.

@mummy917 you are a superstar, i so wish i'd handled things even half as well as you did when i went through this a good few years ago! You probably will have a dip though so have a wee plan for that ❤️

It does, I feel as though after a few very dark months I am finally getting my life back on track again. I have thought I’ll probably have a dip at some point but just going to do what I can to get through it. No specific plan really, I’ll just sit with how I feel and let it pass.

Ah. He wanted to call the shots and you got in first. He must be really miffed, and that’s being polite.

Just wanted to say OP that you're handling this like an absolute champ! Poor little petal really doesn't like losing control and you having some agency in your own life does he?!

That has definitely dented his ego, up until now he thought he was running the show. Big mistake.