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Relationships

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OH ridicules my severe allergies and breathing issues

101 replies

AntoniaX · 23/06/2026 07:56

Hi all. I’ve always suffered from severe reactions to harsh chemical smells, dust, and animal dander - to the point where I've spent countless nights wheezing instead of sleeping (and it isn't always much better during daytime when around such triggers).

Recently, I invested my own money into three air purifiers to place around the house to reduce my allergic reaction to our dogs and dust in general, and thankfully, my dust allergies and wheezing have almost completely subsided.

However, a major issue remains: My OH.

He loves heavily scented products, whereas they completely trigger my respiratory issues. Despite me constantly asking him not to, he still uses fabric conditioner on our sheets and towels (2 - 3 x the recommended amount as well). On top of that, his heavy use of hairspray and cologne literally stops me from breathing, forcing me to leave the room until the air clears.

We have frequent arguments about this because I feel like my health just isn't being taken seriously. He doesn't mind all the chemicals and scents, or believe that our pets could cause any issues for my breathing. What he does mind is my reaction to them, and he frequently ridicules me for it as he claims I am always overreacting, or just being dramatic for the sake of it. (I'd like to be able to breathe - just for the record.)

My prompt for posting this, happened this morning.

After I was forced to change rooms yet again just to breathe, he mocked me in a condescending baby-like voice before leaving for work: "Boohoo, I can't breathe, the perfumes are too strong, I can't use fabric conditioner because it smells too much, there is too much dust, I need an air purifier in every room, waaa."

All I could say was "Wow." and walked away as I always do. He just left for work as if nothing happened. I’m incredibly hurt by how rude he was, and of course, there's been no apology - and I'm 100% confident that there will not be one as I haven't had one in over a decade.

WWYD?

OP posts:
RoseField1 · Today 04:05

AntoniaX · Yesterday 23:40

Right, so. There has been a lot of supportive and / or understanding comments on the topic and I would just like to thank you for taking the time to read my small 'rant', on what I think makes sense and is in effect about basic needs like breathing rather than being overly bleeping dramatic about everything (which is what I'm made to feel like on most days).,

But going forward; I'm not entirely sure how to go on about this.

Is it enough to call it quits for having someone who you care about be that despiteful and nasty about 20-30% of the time? Or, is that just a thing we need to put up with as a part of 'compromising' in relationships? I don't know.

Spiteful and nasty 30% of the time?? My DH is spiteful and nasty 0% of the time, which is the right amount. You absolutely should not be staying with this man.

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