What does this mean? My boyfriend hasn't texted me for 5 days but still keeps liking my IG stories

[ThatCalicoCat]

I'm looking for outside opinions because I genuinely don't know how to interpret this.

I'm 24F and my boyfriend is 21M. We've been together since January and are long-distance. He hasn't sent me a single message in 5 days. During those 5 days, I've seen him online every day, actively joining Discord calls and gaming with his friends for hours.

What confuses me is that he's also still watching and liking my Instagram stories. So he's clearly seeing my activity and interacting with it, but he hasn't texted me at all.
We've already had conversations about me feeling lonely and wanting more communication. He knows this is an issue in our relationship.

I'm not trying to control his gaming or his friendships. I'm just struggling to understand what it means when someone has time to be online, talk to friends, and like your stories, but not send a simple "hey" to their girlfriend for 5 days.

Would you interpret this as needing space, emotional avoidance, losing interest, or something else?

The operative word is was.

He was a great friend, you were close back then.

Now he can't be arsed.

If someone just messaged me for no reason other than to say hi, I’d find it irritating.

It means nothing when you've met 3 times. That's like 12 year olds who hold hands and say that means they're boyfriend and girlfriend. As others have said, forget him and find someone more emotionally mature.

Why don’t you speak to him in person ( phone him) and talk to him about your relationship instead of second guessing via his online activity ?

This - and if you can't do that, then you must see that's not a real relationship.

He’s looking around for someone else while keeping you dangling. Block him and move on.

This isn't your "first serious relationship",it's barely a relationship. You hardly know this person in real life and he is keeping you dangling with the bare minimum of effort. Keep hanging on in there if you wish. Or grab hold of your self esteem and dignity and tell him to sod off.

The world has changed, the next generation are having what can only be described as digital relationships, whether that means they only communicate via social media channels, in game chat or any other means is irrelevant, they aren't what the older generation would describe as being in a traditional relationship, that doesn't mean however that their feelings aren't real or the emotions they experience are any less relevant than those someone experiences in a traditional relationship, it does however make it extremely difficult for them to understand how a traditional relationship works, it's hard to use your senses when you aren't physically around someone. I can see how the world got here but i have no idea what the future of relationships will be like, what you get married to someone you fell in love with via text but never actually met, who knows, what i do know is that it's real and it's happening now to our kids!

I agree with @OMGDidYouSayThat about digital relationships. I’ve seen it when young people fall in love with someone’s curated online self and go through a whole relationship online including the ending, without even meeting the person. And I find it hard to get my head around because it’s a relationship not with an actual person but almost a fantasy version they have of each other and there doesn’t seem to be any real commitment or awareness of the person’s real life. It’s very disposable and transitory. Im struggling to find the words here.
But to the OP I would say keep him as an online friend if you want but look for someone else

Tbh I prob wouldn’t even contact him /say he’s dumped

I doubt you will hear from him

hope you haven’t given him any money

Update:

I ended the relationship.

I told him that we hadn't really connected for almost a week, and during that time I had a lot of opportunities to reflect on us and how I've been feeling. After thinking about it for a long time, I told him that I thought it would be better for us to step back from the relationship.

His response hurt, but it also gave me the closure I needed.

He admitted that for a long time he had been struggling with the relationship and had realized that he didn't actually want to be in one. Instead of facing that, he kept hoping things would somehow work themselves out when we met again in person. He said he felt guilty because this was my first relationship, so he kept dragging things out even though he already had doubts.

He also acknowledged that he pushed me aside, avoided dealing with the situation, and treated me poorly in the process. He apologized and said I didn't deserve to go through any of it.

As painful as it was to read, it confirmed something I had been feeling for months. Something was wrong, and deep down both of us knew it. And now I've finally realized that Love shouldn't feel this lonely.

It's time for me to choose myself and start moving forward. Thank you to everyone who shared their opinions, advice, and experiences

might not feel like that at the moment, but great result. And he has been surprisingly mature, admitting he was not interested but not brave enough to take the decision needed.

But yes listen to this old woman who has been there and done that: if a man is serious about you and wants to be in a relationship, you will know. If he runs hot and cold, seems distant, you always have to wonder if he is actually interested - he is not.

Well done. It will hurt a while but hope it gives you confidence to be direct and expect more for yourself in future. I get digital relationships are a big thing but real life communication will be a lot more fulfilling with the right guy, not quite so young and close by ideally.

You have shown huge maturity here and that’s such a positive step.
In time it will become less painful.
Hopefully when you are ready you can meet someone closer to home you can meet regularly and take things from there.

When i look back on my 20s and early 30s I am ASTONISHED at how much headspace I gave to guys who just weren't warranting it.

He's just not that into you - that's a liberating realisation. Imagine if you gave the same amount of time and energy to your own life and falling in love with it.

Well done OP 😊

Better things will come.