What does this mean? My boyfriend hasn't texted me for 5 days but still keeps liking my IG stories

[ThatCalicoCat]

I'm looking for outside opinions because I genuinely don't know how to interpret this.

I'm 24F and my boyfriend is 21M. We've been together since January and are long-distance. He hasn't sent me a single message in 5 days. During those 5 days, I've seen him online every day, actively joining Discord calls and gaming with his friends for hours.

What confuses me is that he's also still watching and liking my Instagram stories. So he's clearly seeing my activity and interacting with it, but he hasn't texted me at all.
We've already had conversations about me feeling lonely and wanting more communication. He knows this is an issue in our relationship.

I'm not trying to control his gaming or his friendships. I'm just struggling to understand what it means when someone has time to be online, talk to friends, and like your stories, but not send a simple "hey" to their girlfriend for 5 days.

Would you interpret this as needing space, emotional avoidance, losing interest, or something else?

This!
instead of stalking online activity why don’t you just phone him up???

I think it means he's more interested in gaming, seems to be the ruin of the next generation, not meaning to sound intentionally harsh but if he was that interested in you he'd be making time to message you, even if it was before he went to bed or after he woke up (that's if he even sleeps) some don't these days, it's mental, i fear for the next generation, the world is going to go to s**t. Long distance relationships require significantly more effort from both parties so if the effort isn't there i'd move on...

He's not your boyfriend, he's a pen pal and a crap one at that. He's more interested in his mates, his gaming, and probably other girls near him. A 21yr old won't be saving himself for someone in another country after only 3 meets.

Don't see him when he comes to your country and I hope you haven't paid for his ticket or hotel! Block and find someone nearer to you.

He’s not your boyfriend, you’ve only met three times in half a year. Just block and move on, find someone local

I say this kindly, you are 24, you have met him 3 times, you don’t live in the same country. Pick your self esteem out the gutter and go and live your life in the real world rather then online.

You are on the periphery of his life, which is carrying on regardless without you. Some almost fantasy woman in a foreign country, who he'll see for a bit of fun in a few weeks' time. I don't think he is viewing the 'relationship' anwhere as seriously as you are.

He is not your boyfriend and never has been. Please have respect for yourself.

Earlier I was texting him everyday (on the weekday I will send morning text to him and he will text me first only on the weekends when he wake up and ready to make a call) We agreed to make a call or spend time together on the weekend (playing games/watching movies etc) I’m just curious like will he ever think about contacting me first during the weekday if I don’t make a first move. Apparently it’s been almost a week with no contact at all.

If he was thinking about you, he'd text you. As it is you're a free place to stay when he goes on holiday, possibly with a bonus side of sex. Move on, this isn't a relationship that's going anywhere.

OP he's not that bothered and is clearly showing you that he doesn't prioritise you. He really isn't worth bothering about, you can do much better. Definitely don't meet him, instead dump him and find someone you can actually meet and have a real life relationship with.

This is going to sound harsh because you sound lonely and vulnerable but this guy is not the solution to your problems. He has scarcely reached adulthood - he probably isn't feeling particularly ready to commit to anyone long-term least of all someone who lives in a different country and whom he's only met 3 times. If he were seriously interested, he would be in regular contact with you and having proper conversations - it's so easy to do now with Facetime, Teams, WhatsApp calls, Zoom etc. You can't meaningfully communicate by text. And what use is he to you anyway, when he's so far away that you hardly ever see each other? Like many previous posters, I think you would be better off recognising that this relationship will not give you what you need and getting busy and interested in work, hobbies and activities where you live. In due course, that will likely allow you to meet a man who is well-suited to you and also lives much nearer.

I don't necessarily agree with PPs, I don't think you know at this stage. Some people aren't massive texters and he might not be an everyday good morning kind of texter, especially when it's quite early days. Perhaps you see the relationship as being at different stages? Equally, if he's used to you texting every morning he might be wondering why you haven't!

I think it's really easy to take the stance that if a a man hasn't texted for a bit that's it, they're not interested, but in reality people have lots of different things going on in their lives and not all men handle things the same (or read minds!)

That being said, long distance relationships are really tough (I've done them and would not again) and communication is important. Do you really want to do this? How far away are you from each other - is it realistic for you to see each other much? I would just text him, and talk to him when he's over about what you need for this to continue, and if you continue to be mismatched on this then reassess.

So you're testing if he will contact you on a weekday if you don't message him first? And the answer is no. You are low down his list of priorities. Let him go.

Have you ever seen those videos on social media where the man has made a big effort for his girlfriend … there’s one where he learned Korean so he could give a speech at the wedding in the parents language and I’ve just seen one where the guy learned sign language so he could communicate with his girlfriends parents. Your man on the other hand can’t send a text message? If he wanted to he would. ( you don’t need to name it “ avoidant “or any of those things just look at the behaviour and ask yourself if this is meeting your minimum standards )

You've only met this guy three times! This isn't a relationship. It's a friendship, and a one sided one at that. Block him and look for someone else.

I don't think you're his girlfriend. You're a girl he hooks up with when in the area....

Would you interpret this as needing space, emotional avoidance, losing interest, or something else?

You're investing your emotions in the wrong place. He's a boychild in another country who you've only met 3 times. You aren't together in any meaningful way. If he was just a bit of fun, fair enough, but your expectations are out of whack if you're expecting any maturity or commitment. Leave him to his gaming and go for guys your own age or older in the same locality. Then if they don't reply, you'll at least know who they are and have a better sense of what's really going on.

Have you posted about him before? This sounds very familiar. This isn’t a relationship, it’s a long distance friendship, and not a very good one at that. Find someone closer who is actually interested in you, this guy just sounds like a waste of time.

You’ve met 3 times. You don’t have a relationship. Go and find someone you can have a normal relationship with who will treat you well. This isn’t going to go well.

Not replying is an action. If he wanted to he would. Let this go.

Why not pick up the phone and call him ?

Mate, he isn’t your boyfriend. He’s an online friend you have met three times in six months.

Block him and work on your self esteem and independence before getting emotionally attached to anyone else.

He's 21. He's young and immature and you are not his priority. He'd rather be with his mates or gaming. At that age many men will not be able to sustain a long distance relationship. Having said that, only meeting 3 times since January is hardly a relationship. Either accept he's no more than a friend or block him, but move on and find someone who is more available.

Okay just to be clear, it’s not my Delulu that he’s my bf cuz he’s the person who asked me to be his gf from the first place. I just don’t get it why would he drag me into this relationship if he gonna treat me like this. Plus We’ve known each other for almost a year before becoming a couple. He was a great friend and we’re so close back then.

Move on and find somebody local