I'm so upset and angry about this.
DH and I married for ten years. 2 kids. Both 40. Last night I needed some info and he gave me his phone to look on WhatsApp for it. It was within a message from a mutual friend.
I noticed a text in a group chat he has with his male uni friends, which prompted me to look in that group chat. I know I shouldn't have, and that it was never going to end well, but I did. Sorry.
Inside the group chat were so many whiny texts from his mates about their wives, their kids, their sex lives. My DH was the same. They also discussed each others sex lives and wives in graphic detail, including my own husband. Just in a couple of minutes worth of scrolling I saw him mention things about our sex life, my body, things I do that annoy him. And the thing was, a couple of the things were just complete lies. He was moaning about / sharing stuff in our marriage that wasn't even true.
I haven't yet mentioned this to anyone in real life. I understand that it was a private group chat. But he did give me his phone. I don't know if his gripes are genuinely felt (the ones based on reality) or if he is just playing along. But I can't believe he would betray our couples secrets like that, or that his mates do the same. Sad really as well as angry.