Husband said he wants to split up and I’ve been totally blindsided - part 2

[mummy917]

Made a new thread as the original one is almost full 😊rel

@mummy917 in what context did he say he was skint ? Is it a ploy to try and stop you asking him for any money for the children .

I send my son with a bag of clothes as that way I know he is dressed in clean clothes. He is 15 but audhd so cleanliness is not high on his priorities. I also have to message ds to remind him to shower as exh is shi.. not the best to put it mildly. This has been going on for 12 years.

I’m going to send them in clothes I don’t mind them getting dirty and some clothes for Saturday and one pair of pyjamas each as well as with suncream and a hat each. I only did a big primark shop for all 4 of them a few weeks ago and feel like he should do the next one for clothes for his house.

He said he couldn’t take them to school or nursery until payday as he’s skint and I got the impression he was hinting at me offering him money, which I didn’t do

Do you know when his payday is? Has he said anymore about when he wants to start 50/50?

Bloody hell, he's hinting at you giving him money???

Quite right OP, give him bugger all. He wasn't skint when he was paying all that money for tattoos.

What a useless, pathetic waste of skin.

Wait …. How much did he pay for his Twatoo again 🤔

Cheeky bugger , so no 50/50 then . Has he moved to somewhere local @mummy917 ?

He paid £400 for his tattoo and that was on the 5th June 🙄

He lives around a 10-15 minute drive away now and has said he doesn’t have enough petrol to do school/nursery run on Monday morning as he needs the petrol he has to get to and from work. He hasn’t organised anything very well at all.

Announcing he is skint might have something to do with the impending divorce.

Gosh, it’s almost as though he can’t adult now he’s no longer under your ‘control’. What an arse!

Yes I thought this too. And in the hope I’d offer to lend him some money. I’ve worked out his share of the utilities he’s used for the 3 weeks of this month he was living with me and I haven’t dared ask him for that yet, would probably be twisted round to me being unreasonable somehow.

Well then he'll just have to stay home with them on Monday won't he? He can explain to the school/nursery why he's not taking them in and you can collect them from his on Monday afternoon. Don't bale him out on this OP. When he realises he'll have to accommodate them at home anyway he'll suddenly find the money.

I just think he needs to learn how to juggle everything now as he doesn’t have anyone to do it for him.

He’s bringing them back to me on Sunday afternoon. I’d rather they didn’t miss school and nursery just because he can’t organise himself. They shouldn’t have to suffer because of his shit planning.

’oh dear. They will be recorded absences from school, I hope you aren’t going to cause trouble for x at school, and you will just have to look after them at home. I’m sure you’ll plan better as you get used to parenting though.’

All young children miss a day of school or nursery here and there! I’d have called his bluff.

Make sure you get that money from him. Who cares if he thinks you're unreasonable.

These 'men' get it far too easy. I've watched my sissy's ex do the exact same thing. I didn't realise I was the mental sister until all this happened and now I want to show your ex what unreasonable actually looks like!!!!

God, these wee runts make me so ANGRY!!!!

I will be, I’ll muster up the courage to message him over the next few days.

I am still waiting for this anger to arrive 🤣

Agree that you shouldn't let the children suffer over this. I am concerned though that he knows what buttons to press (the children) to manipulate you.
Thank goodness they have you as their mum.

On a separate note, has anyone started a sweepstake on how soon he will ring you after he has collected them, in order to request potty/toys/bed linen or whatever it is that he didn't realise he needs? My money is on hours rather than days. I'm also willing to bet that he will call you controlling for having the things he needed but didn't buy. 🙄

So he can afford fuel to get them back to you on Sunday, but not to school on the Monday instead?

He really is quite the catch….. I’m sure women will be queuing up for this broke man-child 😂. Has he always been this rubbish with money?

It makes me laugh that he thinks he’s being so smart, but all of us intelligent women know what he’s going to do before he does!

Good point ☝️

He has to take our eldest to his cricket match on Sunday morning so has said the petrol he will use for that, means he can’t do another run to our village for the school run the following day 🤣🤦‍♀️

Yes he absolutely thinks he so smart.

I’ll be very interested to see if he has everything he needs for them and if he needs to ring me for whatever reason. He will no doubt say it’s my fault for something along the lines of “everything was already in your house because that’s where we all lived, you knew I had nothing at mine.” I can just imagine it now.

you knew I had nothing at mine.

Which of course isn't your problem.