Sick of men

[Sickofdating]

I have been dating on and off for 20 years, and I have yet to meet a single fully decent man. I've had several long-term relationships, and I've dated lots. And after a while, I’ve come to realise that there is something deeply wrong with almost every single one of them. My female friends, they're amazing. My female colleagues, amazing. I know it’s not universal, women can lie, cheat and be unpleasant.

But even my male friends are questionable now. I have old friends from university, and one of them, for example, has set up a fake email address so he can email me so that his girlfriend doesn't find out. My other close male friend from university locks our conversations at night, so if I message him, I don't appear in his notifications on his phone because he doesn't want his girlfriend to see.

I don’t have anything to hide! It’s mundane normal friendly messaging.

The last man I dated was going through a divorce. He had lied about how long he had been separated from his wife. Another man I met killed his wife. The number of married men at work who try it on. The list goes on.

I meet a lot of people in my life from all walks of life, and the one thing that seems to be pretty universal is that even among the really nice, decent-seeming men, there's always something hidden and wrong.

I also detest how much focus they put on looks and youth. Is there really no man with depth anymore?

It's not compulsory to date. I have a similar history and I just decided not to bother anymore. Everyone is different but for me there's really nothing I particularly miss about being in a relationship except the platonic stuff which I can do with friends/family anyway. Maybe I'll change my mind one day but for now and for the foreseeable I've jumped off the hamster wheel.

I think using them for casual sex, and ensuring the fathers among them pay child maintenance, is enough, nowadays.

And to anyone shocked or judgemental about that, you should see what 99% of them REALLY think of us, and what they say to each other about women when you're not listening. Your husband, your dad, your brother, your son.

Maybe the issue is that we were raised to expect so much more than what men are actually capable of. And by that, I do mean being decent.

Killed his wife?!

You've really not had a lot of luck.

You've really not had a lot of luck. nor have any of my girlfriends or colleagues from the sounds of things…

Where on earth are you finding these men?! Your experience is so far removed from mine and that of most of my friends.

This doesn't make sense.

If this is how you feel about men, why have you been dating them on and off for TWENTY years? 😳

That's like bashing yourself on the head with a frying pan for 20 years and wondering why your head hurts.

It’s been a gradual realisation LadyLooo

I’ve met these men in all of my workplaces, on holiday, on the street, on dating apps…and as far back as my uni days *Indianajet *

they’re everywhere

You are so right OP.

I genuinely think people who think the males in their life are good decent human beings are just deluded and how sad is that.

But 20 years???

Blimey.

I’m with you OP. Also had several long term relationships, I find men often bury parts of themselves deep inside, by the time you work it out you’re in too deep yourself.

meanwhile I have several multi decade girlfriends who are the bees knees. I also have one male friend who is my oldest friend but he does me head in at times 😂

If you really do genuinely think it then that is very sad.

Yanbu xxx

Assuming she started dated in teens I don’t think it’s that odd.

It's not odd to take twenty years to realise you don't actually like something?

Honestly, same
every single relationship or dalliance I’ve ever had I should have respected my boundaries and ditched way before they had chance to fuck me over
cheaters, nutjobs, a raging alcoholic and the last one who had a dominatrix and god knows what else on the side

no way do I want to make excuses for scum they don't need me for that. but with all respect, you are sick of those men you know. not the decent ones. I know I will get a lot of NAMALT comments and I don't care but come on. every time I hear someone generalise like that it is just so juvenile. nobody can actually think an entire sex is just shit just because we had bad experiences with dating 5 or 10 or 20. same goes for the mysognistic c-nts who say all women are whores and gold diggers or that everything is women's fault. it is just a very silly way to look at things. there are crap men and crap women everywhere. it is easier to find mediocre or shit people than not that is the reality of it.

I dated men and women in my time. and let me tell you all the women I dated were a lot more difficult than the men. does that make all women difficult? nope. but we should stop acting like we are the grand prize and men are just grubby monkeys.

also nobody is forcing dating on anyone. you don't have to date.

the one that killed the wife. oof. that is quite special. I am glad you did not become a victim OP. hugs.

I find men often bury parts of themselves deep inside couldn’t have put it better

Seems like a you problem

Seems like a you problem and my girlfriends, and colleagues, and millions of women 😅

wow it is ironic how sad that statement is. you honestly cant think you are so much better than other people.

and I honestly hope you do not have sons. but what would be the case if you did? are they the only exceptions? or are your sons just as bad as all the other monster men out there?

*LadyLavenderUrchin *are you able to accept that other women have more knowledge and greater understanding than you perhaps? Are you able to critically assess why you may not have the same experience?

and I honestly hope you do not have sons

I think that poster does.

I don't know - can you? or are you some sort of authority when it comes to judging menfolk? I fail to see why your experience is any more solid or worthy than mine. or is the criteria that I just have to be sooo sick of men too? then my experience would count for something I guess. get off your high horse we all live in the same world. everyone's experience is valid yours and mine too