Pinkpoet support thread (TW for SA)

[PinkPoetAgain1]

Just starting a new thread for those who are following/supporting

I’m all over the place mentally at the moment as I said in my last thread but I’m still listening xx

Can you imagine if Poet needed a hospital stay for something? She’s asleep and heavily sedated. Her DH turns up, climbs on the bed, starts masturbating and then groping her?
He would be arrested.
It is about power and exploiting a woman in a vulnerable position.
I am sorry but no woman who is asleep, injured, vulnerable and medicated is desirable to the average man.
It is about power and there is no love involved here. I think he gave Poet a ‘break’ for a while as he could sense a change in her but now she’s vulnerable again he’s right back to the abuse.

I’m struggling with this the most I think. He is caring and looking after me in the day time and then doing this in the night. Similar to when I was pregnant.

and a small part of me is wondering how far he would have taken it if I hadn’t woken up. Like before

Poet, I'm glad you got some sleep.

He's nice to you to keep you compliant, so you are there for him to use as he wishes. To rape, to put it bluntly. Because he has you exactly where he wants you. If you left, he'd have to start the grooming all over again with someone else and he probably doesn't have the energy, so it suits him to keep you there. And the way to do that is to throw you a few crumbs of niceness every now and then so your guard drops back down.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's how I see it. Please talk to your therapist about last night.

I didn't want to say that last night as you were so clearly vulnerable, but I do think it needs to be said in the cold light of day.

When you say he's been 'really good' these last few weeks in not raping you, has he still been doing the masurbating whilst groping you, or was this the first time?

Either way, he seriously sexually assaulted you again last night, a serious crime punishable by prison, but you've become so insensitive to his sexual violence against you that you fell back asleep during it.

Just think about it, something that's 'not a big deal' to you (although you've asked him not to), is so serious he could go to prison for it.

Oh dear Poet, how dreadful for you. Never knowing when you are going to be allowed to sleep. That is torture and comes against International Law. It is going on in Iran, Russia, some Arab countries, Israel. It was used in the 1st and 2nd WWs on prisoners. Deprivation of sleep is a standard procedure of torture. Rape is another procedure used in torture situations.

This is exactly what he is doing. I am so sorry for you.

No he has not done this since I was last on here
it’s not the first time though, he’s done it many many times before and I never thought it was wrong let alone SA.

If a random man did it and it's a crime, it's also a crime when your husband does it. You being married doesn't make it legit as you didn't consent.

Since your lasts posts, has any of the sex ended roughly like it always used to?

Your brain realises you are not safe! How alarming that you are not safe in bed with the person you are supposed to be safest with. Thats scary and its scarier that you are taking strong pain killers around a sexual predator and your mind knows so well that you are at risk.

If you really dont feel you can leave, I really think when you need these pain meds you need to at least keep yourself safe by sleeping separately.

I think most of us here feel the same, it turns your stomach to think about the kind of person this man is. Its alarming

It is worrying how you still minimise this so much. Its so concerning that you are injured and going asleep, in need of rest and you think it isnt absolutely awful that he thought this was remotely reasonable to wake you up, disturb your sleep.

Let's brush all the disturbing sexual behaviour aside, he is telling you that your comfort, your need for rest, your pain are all irrelevant because he wants to use you as a sex aid. You arent a person to him, but an object that should be available whenever he wants, regardless of your wants and needs. It doesnt matter how many times you tell him not to, he doesnt care. He is never going to put you first, he is telling you that no matter what you say, his wants are all that matters.

Most adults would be so disturbed by this behaviour but you minimise it and say its not that bad. Its really really bad and incredibly disturbing and im confident he isnt telling his therapist he is behaving like this.

You dont need to wonder though, you know the answer because he already did it when he thought you were asleep and then lied about it. Is that not on your mind when you are taking these strong drugs? He previously believed you were asleep, he raped you and then lied when you asked if anything happened. If these drugs knock you out, you have no clue if you are dreaming or remembering and you are not safe.

Is he actually going to therapy? I'm afraid I don't believe he is, and if he is, he certainly isn't being honest.

He whinged that he couldn't afford your therapy, you were even going to ask your parents for the money.

Now suddenly he is paying for therapy for himself....

at least now you have full access to all the bank accounts, you can see what is going out.

or is your access only to the ' joint ' account that your wages are paid into and his account/s are private

thus he will claim he is paying for this therapy himself out of his own account.

Not really, as I said he’s been really considerate since I last posted which I’m finding really confusing . The nightmare came out of no where . I’ve been feeling much better mentally

I think so . He’s been before and he has a male therapist who he likes . I do wonder if he is honest though and how he words things and if he’s kind of just validating him in a way.

When he’s been he talks a lot about his childhood and how difficult it was and how he’s trying to break patterns

im now on all the accounts as far as I know so i can see the money being paid out for therapy etc

I don’t think he has any secrets in that area

Well he does, as there's no way he's telling the therapist what he does to you. Do you think he's admitted to rape and sexual assault? Because I don't. I don't see what his therapy is for, to be honest. Other than to placate you.

Do you see the account his salary is paid into? Can you see how much he is paid?

Of course he isn’t honest Poet, he won’t have told the therapist that he has for years been sexually assaulting, coercively controlling and raping his wife.

He won’t have told them he raped you while you sobbed and were heavily pregnant.

He won’t have told them he raped you last month in your sleep then lied when you asked him about it. He won’t have shared any of this.

If he’s going to therapy it’s to keep you quiet, not to actually change x

The nightmare didn't come out of nowhere. He started sexually assaulting you again while you were half asleep and your brain took it to the logical conclusion that yiu know he is capable of.

Did you find out any more about the credit card debt? Is it your name, his namem what did he spend it on? Where is your card for the joint account?

1000% this story would have turned him on.

seriously OP.