yes, I think that he likes it when you DONT want it, specifically. Remember when you were beiong really forward in your sexual initiating - he didnt like it did he. And he had to turn you over to finish because he couldnt engage with you intimately. Thats so many shades of wrong that its hard to know where to start.
I think we can safely say that he is turned on by you not wanting sex, or being in positions where you cant give consent - ie when you are asleep. Or when you will be uncomfortable, so when you are pregnant or unwell or in pain, or crying.
He gets turned on by your distress. So when you should be working or looking after the kids, he is pestering - it makes him feel powerful to take attention that he knows should be directed elsewhere - like he has won.
The same in the friends house - he doesnt like someone else being in charge - this is all about really unhealthy thought processes and how he views himself as the alpha male in every circumstance - but does it not also show you how fucked up his thinking is, that he should be so fragile that being a guest in someones home threatens his masculinity? Its pathetic. But them most of these kinds of men, behind the bravado, have fragile little egos, but thats what makes them dangerous, because its easily damaged and the repercussions are usually violent. Somewhere in his development, probably so far back he doesnt even know it and would never be able to fix it, something has gone wrong and his world has been built up with some really damaging messages - further enforced and embedded by 'the game', and reinforced by your marriage.