Partner wants me out and I do not feel able to cope alone

[Purplehearts45]

He keeps trying to chuck me out the house he said your gone after I made a mess several times in the bathroom . recently I spoke to some people at a shop they asked if I was okay so I told them a bit about my situation, the girl at the shop said I could talk to her anytime so I said some things about my situation he then said he wanted to talk to me the people at the mushroom shop had told everything we both said to him he said he had enough , he said this is why we have to move on I feel betrayed by the people in the mushroom shop they misquoted what I’d said he was angry.

He also he I was very miserable a while back he said we are selling the house as I came home after a few bears I was a bit tipsy my daughter was being cared for by him . I can’t do anything right I have no friends as they are ignoring me as they are busy my neighbour is in a bad way and wants to be left alone I’ve only got him and my daughter, my mum is too busy to see me very often , she told me to toughen up which wasn’t helpful she told me not to cry over losing my family and the house he says I go on about myself which he calls me a nightmare but I’m struggling I got discharged from mental health services recently they said I’m fine I’m not I’m taking antidepressants my antipsychotic s and benzos I’m only taking about my self as I’m struggling and looking for support I’m feeling scared about losing my family and my home , a social worker has tried to get me a flat by myself but that wouldn’t work I need supported accommodation i really wouldn’t cope living on my own

You are already divorced. He's been trying to sell the house and get away from you for years but you wont let him. This is not a separation its you being forced to leave him in peace and get on with your own life

Why won't you leave, what is a mushroom shop.

Stop taking drugs, no wonder your mental health is in tatters.

Drugs

@Purplehearts45

You are clearly struggling and I feel so sorry for you, so, take a note of these simple steps and act on each one:

Stop taking drugs (whatever you are buying from the "mushroom shop") that aren't specifically prescribed by a medical doctor.

Speak to your social worker again and tell them you have been taking illicit drugs and need help to stop properly.

Accept the flat that you have been offered, you need your own space to learn to love yourself and you cannot do that living with someone who doesn't want and shouldn't have to look after you.

If you love your daughter, which I am certain you do, get clean, take your meds, ask for help, take that help and listen to your health team.

Realise that the man you are forcing to cope with you needs to be free to look after your child. Think of your daughter, move out and let your child grow up in a safe environment where she isn't exposed to your struggles. She needs to be a child, she does not need to witness her mother unable to sit properly on a toilet and everything that comes with that.

And last, but not least, chin up, stop wallowing in self pity and drugs. Think of your daughter and get yourself in a better place so she can be proud of her mum. You CAN do it if you really want to, but you have to take the first step yourself, neither your ex nor your mum can take it for you.

I’m not wallowing in self pity I don’t ask him to look after me and she didn’t see have explosive toilet issues I cleaned it up your post is harsh for someone who is in a horrible situation

As others have mentioned, the OP was previously known as hippychickbbbb, and has a looooong history of posting multiple variants of the same incoherent story. I don't want to be unkind to her, but I would recommend reading her previous posts. You'll soon realise that she doesn't actually want any help. Many have tried, all have been totally ignored.

To be honest I’m not sure many people would want their ex wife staying over if she was taking illegal drugs and then doing a poo on the floor.

He is responsible for his child, he cannot allow you to be there.

Social services are really failing you here.
The best thing your ex can do for you is contact social services and your gp himself and explain the situation as he sees it.

It my be what has to happen to get you the help you need.

I don't think OP is so much ignoring advice as simply being unable to take it. I suspect she is incapable of any degree of self-care or responsibility and needs to be removed from the situation by professionals. I really don't think she CAN remove herself.

I don’t know why these threads are allowed. The poster obviously needs significant help which no one on here can provide.

Canada is really going down hill.

Having read many of @Purplehearts45 threads over the years I suspect that its more a case of wont do the work and engage with MH services and ss support rather than cant,as she would have to accept that her behaviour and choices are the main cause of the situation she now finds herself in, especially as ever her own mother and siblings have had enough of her behaviour and quite frankly constant trauma dumping on everyone around her

You’re not suited. Just walk away. You will both be happier.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are going through this.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page too.
Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ 💐

OP this isn't the first time you've posted about this situation - I think you need to get some therapy, and speak to SS

You don't have to stay in this position, what help are you getting for yourself. All you both do is shout and argue, that's no life for anyone especially a child who witnesses all this. What's stopping you from leaving and living on your own like the social worker said, it can't be any worse.

Talk of coming home drunk in the day, your username (purple hearts were drugs in the 60’s), you referencing mushrooms / obsession with mushroom shop talk, your rambling and incomprehensible writing style & typos, regularly being faecally incontinent….
. I strongly, STRONGLY suspect you have serious problems with alcohol/substances, on top of any underlying MH condition.

I say this as someone who frequently treats both alcoholics and people with SMI (severe mental illness).

Google your local alcohol & substance support organisation. Step away from the bottle for gods sake.

My theory is that mushroom shop is something to do with nuclear war - ie her relationship is like that

Oh heck. I remember this poster.

OP you need to contact your GP and social services. This isn’t a relationship problem that Mumsnet can solve.

Your partner is at the point of selling the house to get rid of you op. It's not his responsibility that you've never spent more than 4 days alone. You need to sort yourself out if you care at all for your child

I couldn’t help it I cleaned it up for fucks sake I’m not expecting him to care for me

What do you want us to do for you @Purplehearts45 ?

In your post on the 5th you said you tried to clean up.

Did you try or did you succeed?

If you did clean up then I can't understand why he would even have noticed or gone off on one at you over it.

I'm not condoning his attitude, but I do fully understand compassion fatigue and it really does sound like he hit his limit years ago.

You deserve care and support, but he isn't obliged to give it or remain in a relationship that is making him unhappy. He only gets one life too.

He doesn't sound very nice to you anyway, so I think you should ask for help getting that flat and rebuilding your life from there.

I've also seen your previous threads. You're abusing your daughter by letting her witness this shitshow. And dont kid yourself that she doesn't know, she absolutely does. Accept the flat, leave your ex alone and sort yourself out. He shouldn't be forced to deal with this anymore.