A few weeks ago it was my birthday and on the way home from a family day out my husband started an argument with me about my degree. I have already given him all the info regarding my degree (I’m halfway through so if he has questions now then he’s clearly not been paying attention). But he was asking questions that I’ve already answered many times so I was fed up because it’s just evidence that he pays zero interest in me. And i was tired from our day out. He had already tried to goad me into slagging off one woman for going back to work after having her baby and then his step mum for not working and in both instances I stuck up for the women. So he says (fyi I’m studying the Arts) ‘isn’t a degree supposed to lead to something?’ Meaning he thinks my doing a degree is pointless. And he does this a lot. Anytime I try to do anything beyond being a SAHM, he’ll find fault in. I said this and he went ballistic. Birthday ruined I spent the rest of the day crying in my room - he did not come check if I was okay. Recently it was my youngests birthday we had a lovely day out then we went home to chill for a bit. He napped while i took the dog for a walk, then we went to dinner and the entire time he was nitpicking at the kids. He got snarky with my son because he wanted nachos but he was having a big kids meal so hubs said no - i backed him up. Then my second eldest wanted slushy (which we had agreed the kids wouldn’t drink ever again because they’re toxic) he said no at first but she was hassling so he have in - i did not contradict him. My youngest (who’s birthday it was) picked that restaurant becauseof it’s soft play he said she could play in there once we ordered dinner - i backed him up. He was also offensive to my eldest by asking ‘is she actually learning musical theatre or just doing shows?’ She was clearly annoyed by this comment as she kept playfully bringing it up but he didn’t apologise he just ignored her. Then he started asking about her GCSE’s. He started the convo by saying is she still doing that thing in september or not because you’re always changing things (there was a programme for teens that i was looking into for her but she wasnt keen and my husband said it was too expensive so i cancelled those plans and he was told all of this) i was already fed up with him hassling the kids and so I may have made a sarcastic comment - almost forgot he kept nagging my second eldest about her peas (she hates peas) he said she had to eat ALL of them if she wanted a nacho from her little sis. I pointed out that she had been given a ton so maybe just half. Which she did but she put salt on them so they wouldn’t taste awful to her and he had a problem with that, then proceeded to make comments throughout the meal about how she didn’t eat all of her peas. So it’s the end of the meal and he’s being an arse and my youngest (who’s birthday it is) wants to go into the soft play. Everyone has finished dinner btw and we are just waiting for the bill. He said no and then started getting aggy with her and being cruel by saying she wouldn’t be allowed a movie if she went in the soft play. Did I mention it was her birthday!? So I said very quietly to him that I didn’t mind taking her in there while he waited for the bill. He was furious, started shouting saying I was undermining him said I do it all the time blah blah - i had literally backed him up throughout the meal, i draw the line at forcing my children to eat food they hate and he knows that. Anyway I left the angry little man on his own and went to the soft play funnily enough none of the older kids wanted to sit with him. We were in there for about five mins when he came out because the bill had been paid I tried to talk to him and clear things up he stormed out and refused to talk to me the rest of the evening, didn’t sing happy birthday when we did the cake didn’t help with the candles.
I did try to clear things up in the car ride home but he just kept shouting and I didn’t want to ruin LO’s birthday so I left it. Am just so fed up with him ruining our family days out. He always seems to find some issue with anything we are doing and it makes me not want him to come with us because it always ends with an argument because I’ll either stick up for the kids or myself and that infuriates him. He never used to be like this but last year he started working for a new company where I know the men there hold mysoginistic views and he is stressed because we don’t have a lot of money at the moment - cost of living, four kids, one wage family (he works five days a week and on saturdays either plays golf or cricket or goes on days out with his friends) so there’s no time for me to work (we home ed) oh and he’s got a trip to america coming up to watch the football.