My husband will leave me if I take off the hijab.

[Lotusflowerbombx]

I’ve been married and a revert/covert to Islam for 6 years now for, yes I did it for my husband but I was so blindly in love at the time theres not much I wouldn’t of done. 6 years on and 2 DC I’m questioning everything!! I always have tbh, I’ve spoke many times with my husband about the hijab and how I don’t want to wear it but he said he’ll leave me if I don’t. He’s very much practicing and prays 5x a day at the mosque and he believes I do too but half the time I’m not actually.. I do feel bad about it though that’s why I think do I believe in this religion? When I’m having a bad anxiety day I pray and it makes me feel better but soon as that days done I’m back to pretending :( I had a conversation with my husband the other day about if our daughter didn’t want to wear hijab when she’s older what would he do and his answer was he would wash his hands of her and I just catch fathom how a parent could be so cold.. I hate wearing the hijab I don’t feel free and if my daughter was in my position I would say get rid but I’m just so scared I’ll regret it, is losing love worth it to show my hair? In all other areas he’s great, he’s the best dad and always helping with house work.. if I could dress how I want I would never think about leaving him :( anyone been in a similar situation? I struggle to find anything relatable online

I wish women would refuse to engage with men like this.

Cover yourself up, dear, you’re distracting the menfolk. FFS! Furious for every woman subjected to this oppression 😠

Hijab is cultural, not religious.

I am the one living in real life. You, are not. Calling what actually happens in real life 'hysteria' says more about you than me.

We too used to say women must cover their heads outside home.

Not anytime in Christianity or Atheism in the last 200 or so years.

We only recently stopped putting women who were pregnant outside marriage into asylums ( and it wasn’t just religious fanatics sending them there).

They were homes for unwed pregnant young women, not 'asylums'. And in Islam, that pregnant unwed woman - still today - would be put to death. I don't recall a time in Christianity or Atheism, ever, where there was 'honour killings' or where a rape victim was stoned to death for being raped!

The fact is Islam is a very dangerous, violent, and hatefully misogynistic religion still stuck in the 1200s. It has absolutely no compatibility with a civilised and humane society in 2026 (or even the 1900s).

Most other religions have moved with the times.

Why would such a devout man marry a non-devout woman? I am baffled by people who do this. He should have married a devout woman of his own faith, not try to control the OP.

I think he became devout rather then started off that way?

If it is ‘cultural’ as you claim, it is cultural within one specific religion. Islam is the only religion where women wear a hijab.

OPs husband is making his demands on religious grounds.

Why are people still posting? OP is long gone. she doesn't want to hear what she is being told.

There are religions and cultures in which being covered is the normal. Ultra Orthodox Jews for example in which most of the women wear wigs; they can completely cover with a turban or scarf but wigs (sheitel), are widely used. There are other dress regulations for both men and women .

There are some extreme Christian groups in which women are required to always wear a hat (not completely covering their hair), we don't have many of those here in the UK though I have seen them a couple of times.

Islam requires both sexes to dress modestly so as not to draw attention to themselves. On the whole that happens but a hijab is not necessary, or a woman could just wear one to the mosque.

We know that orthodox Sikh men do not cut their hair and wear a turban or a specially designed hat (the dastar, also the dumalla). The women vary.

Mormons wear garments and specific underwear.

The op does not have to wear a hijab, her husband would like her to. I feel there is room for compromise as she says he is a good, kind person and respectful, not a despot. However she has disappeared now so I doubt we'll hear about outcome.

Thanks for all the explanation. I am aware that some other religions have dress conventions. I’m not sure how it relates to or contradicts my comment though.

she says he is a good, kind person and respectful, not a despot. However she has disappeared now so I doubt we'll hear about outcome.

In my world, good, kind and respectful men do not threaten to leave me or disown my daughter if I don’t comply with their wishes. I hope she is reflecting on the behaviour of her partner and considers how objective she is being about it.

This is coercive control. He’s not a great husband or father if he insists on this against your wishes and would wash his hands of his daughter if she doesn’t want to do it. It sounds like you’re in a vulnerable position financially as you are not legally married in the eyes of the law. If you’re this unhappy about wearing it after 6 years I can’t see it getting better for you.

Hijab isn't cultural.

Islam doesn't move on from times, as its a solid way of life that can't be washed down or changed. Also wearing Hijab doesn't mean we've been taken back to the dark ages. Just as you have the right to wear and uncover yourself, we also have to right to cover up.

I cover myself, This doesn't mean i am oppressed.

That's fine. You have the right to cover up. He doesn't get to force the OP or her DD though. It's her right not to.

Well @Khads94you obviously have some strong views. What would you say to a practicing Muslim women who chooses not to wear a hijab?

It’s optional though? Not a religious requirement? So more cultural than religious…

What would happen if you went out uncovered?

if I take my hijab off he’s willing the end the relationship, he’s not gonna kill me or hurt me or try to take the kids. He’s not a bad person he’s a good dad and a good husband

Once again the bar for men is rolling around on the ground and a woman wants to pick it up so her husband doesn't have to step over it.

Yes. And some other women (well, I assume them to be) are eager to defend this whole situation.

It’s weird, because Western women who espouse the so called ‘tradwife’ movement get absolutely vilified by similar left wing thinkers that are also defending other women’s ‘rights’ to be covered up and subjugated for religious purposes.

Only Muslims wear it though so there is clearly a religious link.