I’m sorry in advance but I’m going to be honest with you. You needs to get offline for a bit and detox from manosphere content. This example is literally straight out of Adolescence.
I have called good mates out on this and I will keep telling men to stop believing things that money hungry influencers say. They then proceed to sell men products to get into that ‘20%’. Supplements, workouts, cosmetics, the lot.
Go to a public place where couples go this weekend. Maybe a shopping centre.
Look around.
Who are the men there with partners? Bold men. Overweight men. Men with visible health problems. Men with bad jobs or no job. Your 19-year-old spotty neighbour with his high school girlfriend. That bookish guy from the chess club. Your IT guy from the office who has far too many cats. That gamer guy with green hair from across the road that never says a word.
The point is, lots of very average looking and very average people are in relationships. A very small percentage of the population is exceptionally attractive or otherwise outstanding. Most couples are average people dating other average people.
Without sounding cocky, I’m very attractive. I get pulled out of crowds at events to go backstage, get freebies everywhere, get away with murder.
I feel attracted to… all kinds of guys. I don’t care what job they do, backgrounds, usually more attracted to overweight guys etc. They just need to have good chat and really connect with me at a human level.
The kinds of comments that make me reconsider the relationship?
- I’m not good enough for you
- Wow, you’re well out of my league
- I must take a pic of us for my mate or they won’t believe we’re together
- Why would you date someone like me?
- 80/20 stuff - huuuuge red flag 🚩
Some of these relationships have gone on for a while as I’ve forced them but they’ve failed because the man just doesn’t feel comfortable. Essentially they friendzone themselves.
Something I now live by is that I’ll only date people who feel comfortable in their own skin, want me and have the balls to pursue me. If you don’t think you deserve the woman, you will self sabotage. You first need to believe you’re good enough, love yourself and the rest will follow.
You remind me of my mate who had terrible self esteem, really wanted to be in a relationship but suffered a lot of setbacks. He was in a really bad place and hyper focused on the 80/20 mindset and how he needed to change everything about himself.
He got to a mentally better place and is now engaged 2 years into a great relationship.
Back yourself and you will get the girl. But you need to genuinely value yourself first.
Stepping away from corners of the internet where they chip chip away at your self esteem, and taking a break from dating apps (also not a great place for self esteem or good mental health) can be really beneficial along the way.
Us women also come in all kinds of packages. We also struggle massively with self esteem and from a young age are taught you need to look in a certain way to get a guy. It’s a pretty rubbish way to live. Don’t let manosphere propaganda get you and tell you you’re all kinds of wrong. Next you’ll be looksmaxxxing and buying sports cars thinking this will fix everything. Spoiler alert, this mostly attracts other men and the odd gold digger.