Life360 Shows DH Spent 59 mins in Thai Massage

[Caramelsyrup]

As the title says. DH away abroad with some friends. Checked life 360 this morning and showed he had spent 59 minutes in a Thai massage place. Took all the screenshots and sent a friend. It’s not on Google but on street view with a number. It’s not looking good is it??

Op what an arsehole he’s a complete shit calling you an idiot when he knows he’s in the wrong good luck with whatever you decide but if he takes trips like this a lot it’s going to very difficult to trust him again.

What is the difference between a normal massage to a Thai one I would like to try it but wary they are just for men.

The 'happy ending'?

I don’t think it necessarily has to be a Thai massage to get a happy ending. There are plenty of other dodgy massage places other than Thai ones that also offer ‘extras’.
there are also a number of Thai massage parlours who offer genuine massage services pain no extras.

in this case her H apparently drank all day on a lads holiday, then decided at 9pm, half way through a night out, that he really fancied an actual all-above-board massage. I’d be suspicious regardless if the origin of the masseurs

This! I don’t understand why you are in shock either? You are enabling his behaviour. Him laughing at you should say it all.

Stop tracking his every move on life360 for starters its not healthy and it is doing you no good.

absolutely tell him to stay home & go away with your daughter and get some time to think.

delete him off life360.

It doesn’t matter what he has to say, you won’t believe him & you don’t trust him.

do you think you can rebuild or are you done. Thats what you need to decide

A Thai massage is not intrinsically associated with sexual services or brothels. Thailand is obviously a common destination for sex tourists but the massages can be totally legit. The one I had in Thailand was through the clothes and was not as intimate as other types of massage you can get ( which can also be legitimate ). You’re not going to have an issue with a high street Thai place in the UK

feeling very much in shock

but also

For example he worked in London a lot and on one of the iPads on iCloud a window was open saying ‘call girls London’ - he talked out of this by saying he had been on a porn site and a pop up opened and that was the pop up he hadn’t closed. He admitted before he met me he had paid for prostitutes in Amsterdam.

He is scummy and revolting. He was before you met him @Caramelsyrup

Show your teens that you want better for them and for you.

I'm specifically talking about Thai massage and men.

I'm not a bloke either.
And yes it is pretty standard for men to be offered it as part of the Thai massage process.
It's part of Thai culture.
There's no need to be snarky, observing and being aware of how other cultures operate is neither agreeing or disagreeing with them.

Or assuming that they're a 'bloke' because of it.

I’m not understanding why you think he wouldn’t do what he’s been doing at times throughout your marriage. By staying you’ve told him it was ok. Why is now any different.

I did some detective work yesterday and rang the massage place in question and the address they said they was based at was different - I asked if they were at the address in question and she said no they had moved property. I asked if there was another Thai massage at the old address and she said no it is empty. So life 360 may have it wrong ?? I’m hoping so anyway. But after hearing nothing from him yesterday and the shambolic phone call we’ve exchanged messages this morning and I’ve said I don’t want him to come away with us o need time to think. He just kept saying ‘stop busting my balls I’ve done nothing wrong’ apparently the woman on the phone was serving them in a bar, and he was drunk. Even so not being in contact with a family at home for over 24 hours in itself is disrespectful. He does this often these benders, the last one was in October again before a family holiday.
I’m not even mentioning life 360 as there’s no point, it’s the total disregard that I even exist when he goes away. He was away a few weeks ago with work abroad and didn’t hear much from him then either.

These places depend on their clients privacy being respected. They also don’t charge credit cards under their door name. You wouldn’t usually find ‘Kinky Thai Massages’ on your bank statement. They show up as something else, so that suspicious wives / partners don’t spot them. You really need to be careful not to gaslight yourself into believing what you want to. If the life360 and his history don’t tell you all you need to know, your communications with him since should.

Quite but usually cash is king in these circumstances

@Caramelsyrup why do you think you accepted his excuses when you caught him out before?

What did you think he and his friends would be doing on lads' trips to Hamburg, Amsterdam, and now Thailand? They are all notorious sex tourism destinations.
Given that he told you he'd used a prostitute before you married, and the 'call girl London' on his ipad, it's pretty obvious what he and his mates do.

Why is it different this time? ie you don't believe his excuses.

It seems pretty obvious that he enjoys using sex workers whenever he gets the opportunity, and so do his friends.

I think you can't fool yourself any more, and maybe now your DC are older you feel more able to cope on your own.

I would be accessing as much financial info as I could, just as a precaution. Take copies of any relevant paperwork, leave it all with a trusted family member or friend.
If you do divorce, he will have to provide details of his personal accounts on the Form E, so don't worry too much if it's online and you can't access it.

Definitely ask him to stay home and just go away with your daughter.

Good luck @Caramelsyrup , I think you are dealing with the shock of realising/acknowledging to yourself that he has probably been cheating for years with sex workers. Be kind to yourself. 💐

"t is pretty standard for men to be offered it as part of the Thai massage process.
It's part of Thai culture."

I lived and worked in Thailand for many years and I can tell you that Thai massage that ends with a handjob is categorically NOT part of Thai culture. The Thai men do use local prostitutes more often than European men use prostitutes in their own countries, but for the local Thais, Thai massage is seen as trained skilled professional massage work and definitely not a front for sex work.

The association between Thai massage and sex work in Europe is NOT born from Thai culture.

Totally agree. But the point being, they do what they can to protect/ respect their ‘clients’ privacy.

In sum - he's gone away with his mates. They've drunk lots. They've seen sex workers. The question is - do you accept it, or don't you. And if you don't, what will you do about it? Sorry op x

I think there's every reason to be snarky at your assumption that hand jobs are just part of a 'culture.'

You're either a bloke or a very stupid woman 👍

Whatever.

“Part of Thai culture” to offer hand jobs? @QuintadosMalvados

Say he’s a pure as the driven snow on this one occasion - you hate him @Caramelsyrup . He doesn’t seem to give a flying toss about you.

It is a broken dead marriage.

Have you looked on Google street view to see if there's a bar next door?

So you rang somewhere you believe to be a sex place and you thought they would admit to a clearly pissed off wife that they were at the address you asked about?? Jeeeeeeeez!!!

my partner wouldn’t be abroad with “mates” his priority is me and our kids
I’m always amazed it’s an invitation to cheat if you ask me!