Would my partner’s comments about other women bother anyone else?

[CountingDownToAutumn]

This has been playing on my mind a lot lately and I was hoping to kind of exorcise it by getting some other viewpoints.

Dp is amazing in so many ways. We have a 6 week old baby and he’s a great dad. He’s great with housework, does his fair share of night feeds, great with my children from a previous marriage. If I need him to help with anything for them he’ll arrange his work to make it happen. I can’t fault him in that regard.

So the problem… commenting on other women. I feel like we can’t watch anything without a ‘she’s nice’ or a ‘I can’t work out if she’s pretty or not’. I know he looks at women he finds attractive on a day to day basis. He tries his best to be discrete about it but I’ve caught him on a few occasions. I don’t tend to mention it and just pretend I haven’t noticed. It came up once in a light hearted conversation and he made a joke about how he tries to be discrete as to not make the women in question feel uncomfortable. I know he has porn apps on his phone. Again, he’s very open about this and while in itself it’s not a deal breaker for me, the picture as a whole is starting to bother me.

We have a great sex life. He tells me that he’s attracted to me and he’s very affectionate on a day to day basis. He did make a few clumsy comments recently about how I’ve lost a lot of my bum in pregnancy and I need to start squatting which he apologised profusely for when I told him it upset me.

I feel like I shouldn’t be letting this bother me. If we had no sex life and he didn’t pay me any attention it would be a different story but that’s not the case. I’m not naive. I know he’s going to find other women attractive and that’s normal. He’s just so blatant about it which makes me paranoid that he’s comparing me or he wishes I look more like whoever he’s found attractive at that precise minute. Probably doesn’t help that I currently have 2 stone of baby weight to loose.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill here or would this bother anyone else?

Glad he's your ex. That's disgusting. Feel sorry for any other woman who could end up with him.

Very fucking creepy. Who the fuck thinks like this about a newborn baby?
Gross. <shivers>

Wasn’t with him all that long.
He met his first wife on holiday, she had two babies and her first husband had passed away.
Apparently she was a ‘10’ but nobody else would want her.
He told me I’d been a ‘10’ when younger - he’d seen pics of me - but at 40 I would be a hump and dump.
He was a very strange man. Absolutely obsessed with Becky from Corrie - the one from the noughties who married Steve. Says she was ugly but would be great in bed.
To make you laugh. Once took me to a family party. And said oh one of my younger cousins looks like a famous film star - think Brad Pitt.
And he did. He was absolutely gorgeous.
It was one of those social club things where men stand at the bar and women sit by the buffet.
And I spent three hours listening to all of them describing what they’d like to do with the younger version of Brad.
Didn’t bother telling him. Next time I was getting a lecture on what ‘real men’ think, I thought if only you could have heard your great auntie Kathleen giving us a full description of the young Brad’s arse.
My dad was delighted when we spilt up. And I also found out he’d tried to tap him for a loan. The cheeky git.

He honestly sounds repulsive 🤢

What an absolute fucking twat of a man....for multiple reasons.

This is not normal.

Keep your daughter away from this vile man.

This got worse and worse with every update.

It also struck me that your repeated ‘salvation’ is that he finds you attractive. Really? Is that the thing that makes it all better? Disrespectful sleazes can (and do) find anyone attractive. I’m not sayings you’re not, but his attraction to you only matters if he is also respects you and that your wellbeing is always his priority.

He isn’t even the kind of guy I’d be friends with, let alone a relationship.