Bf disappeared

[lidofety]

Bf's birthday recently. He asked me not to get him anything. That's fine, I also hate gifts and birthdays.
DC mentioned to him yesterday that they made him a card. He thanked them then said, "I told your mum I didn't want anything." I said I took that to mean gift not card and had already got him one when I spoke about it to him a few days prior.
Fwiw, I didn't ask dc to make card, it was just what they did.

After this conversation he got moody and abruptly said he's tired and going to bed.
I receive a text today saying he's going to be away for a while (not as in on holiday) and won't be responding to my messages and calls won't go through.

I don't know how to feel.

I just sort of said OK but I do feel a bit meh.

Hi, thanks for all your comments. I've read them all.
He's not specifically said its about the card situation but he got moody when discussing the card because I took "I don't want anything" to mean gifts which I didn't do. But a card?

Although it was directly after he hasn't sited that as the reason.

I live alone with dc. Don't live together, not on tenancy or anything like that. Stays over occasionally but not living here by any means.

I just feel hurt that his strop takes priority. Dc also asked why he went off the phone as he said he would go at X time. I haven't told them but it's not fair for him to be able to just say cya until he feels it's OK and me and dc should just what, wait here?

What about the stuff that I'm going through, I can't contact him for support (not that I want to) but he hasn't considered my feelings here at all.

Me too, "He will be back in due course". the only reply is "Don't bother"

Just tell him not to bother contacting you again. You can do better than him!

Just block him on everything. You and your DC deserve better

Thank you all.
I'm feeling a lot lighter now. I still feel sad and hurt but more confident that I'm not bu to feel this way.

He sounds more like a boyfriend than a partner- so the good thing is you don’t have any sorting out to do. He’s a wrong ‘Un. Normal people don’t behave like that.

What a weirdo.

I would call it a day. You really don't need someone in your life who takes offence at a card from children and strops off for who knows how long or particularly why.

Dump.

I'd block him on everything, throw his stuff in black bags and leave them in the shed, if he has any there, change locks. He's decided to leave you, maybe another woman, testing the water or he's just deluded that you'd take him back, thinking he's a prize catch, more like 🚩🚩🚩 your DC must be so upset/puzzled. Move on, he's gone, life can only get better. 💐

He’s being moody and performative and not even saying why. Like everyone else, I would definitely tell him not to bother coming back. It was a lovely, thoughtful thing your DC did for him. He wasn’t deserving of such a kind gesture.

@TessSaysYes "Do you think he's feeling down about a big milestone birthday, like turning 40, or 50. It's just another day really but sometimes people feel a bit sad about it."

This really is male apologists stuff. I mean, walking out and saying you'll be in touch when you feel like it. And being rude about a little kid's handmade birthday card is totally shit behaviour. No excuses whatsoever no matter how bloody sad he feels.

Honestly OP, why are you putting your "affairs" before your children?!

Disgusting man to so fuck off your kids.

Yea, and I'm a divorced mum of a now adult child. NEVER brought men home when my child was there.

Bloody child.

Block and delete his number. You dont need drama like that, and it will keep happening.

This is bizarre.

I dont like my birthday but I do damn well smile and thank my children with a huge hug and kiss for their presents and cards. Which sort of ungracious churl does anything other?

Unless there is some extraordinary reason why he couldn't tell you why he's incommunicado, chuck him. This is horrible behaviour to you and to your children.

I would also talk about it to your children explaining that your (ex) partner's behaviour is very strange and unacceptable, and that we can't control how other people behave but we can have standards that mean we won't stick around to be treated badly (and also - that we have to treat others well, too).

Please tell us your going to dump this asshole?

How long have you been together? The last person that did something like that to me was extremely abusive. He literally vanished and I did not hear from him until 9 months after at which point I had relocated and moved on. Later found out he was in prison. Block and move on is my advice

Do not allow any man to tear your DC like that.
They were so kind to mane that card. I’m not big on birthdays but a handmade card off lovely DC is just lovely.
Get rid. He doesn’t give a toss about you, and even less about your children.

How about making him a card with a big 'fuck off' on it.
You could get all artistic on the design.

Perfect response @Vroomfondleswaistcoat

I have a Father’s Day card from my youngest to his dad when he was in reception.

You know how I got hold of it and his dad doesn’t have it? Because I fished it out of the bin the next day.

Don’t be like me OP.

That is absolutely horrific..

You are being entirely reasonable to feel really put out by this and anything otherwise from him is pure gaslighting.

This is a super immature and childish strop. Do you or your children need this in your life? Only you can tell.

I wouldn’t put up with someone who went off in a no-contact strop for days or weeks for any reason, let alone over something as absolutely innocuous as a card from children.

He’s a piece of shit, don’t let him back into your life

You’re definitely not BU. How you feel is totally justified and I’m sorry that you’re going through other things as well

I think if it were me, I wouldn’t wait for him to reappear. I would block him on absolutely everything and carry on with my life without him.

If he has things at your house can you drop them off at his family’s home?

And I would change the locks. YouTube has some good videos on how to do this and it shouldn’t cost too much. Well cheap really when you think you’re locking him out of your life

Dumping him would be sensible after the way he treated your DC when they gave him the card, let alone what he did after that.

Ghost the nasty shithead.