Page 2 | Am I wrong for giving in and agreeing to split?

pinkdelight · 05/05/2026 16:23

Sounds like you're too busy for a relationship. You've got two little DC and a busy job so he's being fair and honest to say he wants someone who's more available because you're really not that person. It's also fine for him to want someone for company. You can't expect him to be mad keen on wanting you yet fine to be messed around and dropped last minute. Own the fact that he wasn't (and couldn't be) your priority, you were rude if you didn't communicate that you couldn't see him till late in the day, and he rightly dumped you, and move on. Probably don't date people until the DC are older, unless it's just dates and no expectations of much more in relationship terms.

MaggieBsBoat · 05/05/2026 16:24

SmallBlondeMum · 05/05/2026 15:28

Are you wrong?
It wasn't your choice, he dumped you.

I think you need to try to understand his point of view as it seems he was quite justified in his reaction to you not turning up on Saturday night.

This!

Fiftyandme · 05/05/2026 16:25

It doesn’t sound like you have any respect for his time

Quitelikeit · 05/05/2026 16:28

It wasn’t nice standing him up

Why not invite him to your place?

When you tell him you didn’t have a lot of free time - initially he may have thought he could have coped with that but seemingly he didn’t want to and that is ok

Maybe wait until your children are older and you have more free time to explore your next relationship

RoachFish · 05/05/2026 16:30

Deciding you are too tired to meet up at roughly the time you are meant to meet up is super disrespectful. After only a few months of dating you should in that rush of emotions where you can't wait to see each other. He clearly wasn't that important to you and you are not important to him so breaking up makes total sense. I don't know why you think you broke up with him though. It's not like you get the final say.

Dragracer · 05/05/2026 16:32

You didn't split. He dumped you.
You were very rude. You ditched him at the last minute on a Saturday night. So what if it had been 9 o clock? You clearly just couldn't be arsed and he didn't want to be with someone flaky that's clearly not that into him.

pinkdelight · 05/05/2026 16:33

greatvisuals · 05/05/2026 16:23

In what way is being tired and wanting to stay at home being rude and disrespectful?

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I suppose you love looking forward to your Saturday night date only to be dropped at the last minute because the guy would rather stay home. Sure you'd definitely not sulk about that at all and be super keen the next time he said jump.

greatvisuals · 05/05/2026 16:35

pinkdelight · 05/05/2026 16:33

I suppose you love looking forward to your Saturday night date only to be dropped at the last minute because the guy would rather stay home. Sure you'd definitely not sulk about that at all and be super keen the next time he said jump.

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If I knew he was a single parent to two young children and had been working all day and was exhausted I would have been understanding. No I wouldn't have got 'really annoyed' and then sulked all weekend - how childish is that?

honeylulu · 05/05/2026 16:37

That was hurtful and rude of you. I once ditched a boyfriend who did this to me. No regrets!

Yes you were tired, you worked late yada yada but you strung him along all of Saturday knowing he was looking forward to seeing you and flaked on him once it was too late for him to salvage the evening by making other plans.

Hito · 05/05/2026 16:39

It actually doesn't matter what anyone thinks. She obviously crossed one of HIS boundaries

CamillaMcCauley · 05/05/2026 16:40

As a rare or one-off event, I think cancelling due to tiredness is okay, especially if you could have seen him Sunday. If this is happening somewhat regularly, then yes, perhaps you are too busy for a relationship. Either way, this doesn’t sound like the right relationship for you.

moderate · 05/05/2026 16:41

ralsta · 05/05/2026 15:20

Am I being silly to have ended things?

for context I’m a mum to 2 young children and I’m self employed so very busy!

I started seeing someone last October and it has been going well. I voiced my concerns about not having much free time and he assured me it was fine I was ‘worth it’

fast forward to the weekend, I was due to go round his on Saturday night but I had a very long day at work, didn’t get home until 7:30pm and by the time I’d have got my things together and drove to his it would have been after 9pm so I said I was staying home. He was really annoyed, said I’d messed him around and hardly spoke to me for the rest of the weekend. I told him I didn’t like how he seemed to have sulked/gone in a mood with me for something so small

he then told me he’s reflected and he wants someone who is more available and has more free time…I feel like he didn’t like me for me and just wanted someone for company

am I wrong for just backing down and saying ‘okay, wish you the best’ etc

I feel like he didn’t like me for me and just wanted someone for company

As far as I can tell, he wanted your company.

The fox who longed for grapes, beholds with pain
The tempting clusters were too high to gain;
Grieved in his heart he forced a careless smile,
And cried, 'They’re sharp and hardly worth my while".

JustGiveMeReason · 05/05/2026 16:42

I agree with everyone else.

Though it seems like a waste of a babysitter, which you had presumably arranged ?
Why not just say you felt knackered, and would just like to veg out in front of the TV (or whatever) ?

I mean, from your OP, it sounds like he dumped you, rather than you 'agreeing to split'. He's not wrong to end a newish relationship when he feels it isn't working out. That doesn't mean no relationship is going to work, but you have to be realistic about the amount of time you have to give to a new relationship at this stage of your life, and realise most people want to feel valued in the life of anyone they are in a relationship with - particularly a new one.

pinkdelight · 05/05/2026 16:43

greatvisuals · 05/05/2026 16:35

If I knew he was a single parent to two young children and had been working all day and was exhausted I would have been understanding. No I wouldn't have got 'really annoyed' and then sulked all weekend - how childish is that?

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It's not exactly mature for her not to have communicated with him sooner. Also the mood was him having gone off her and leading up to ending it, which is pretty standard. No one is a delight right up to the moment they bin the other and it'd be weird if he was. No one's saying it's not understandable that OP was tired. Only that they were clearly incompatible and it's fine for him to have ended it, which he did rather than the OP, who seems to as blinkered as you about this.

HotChocolateBubbleBath · 05/05/2026 16:48

If someone tells you they don’t want to be with you anymore, you have to accept it. It’s no more complicated than that.

greatvisuals · 05/05/2026 16:49

pinkdelight · 05/05/2026 16:43

It's not exactly mature for her not to have communicated with him sooner. Also the mood was him having gone off her and leading up to ending it, which is pretty standard. No one is a delight right up to the moment they bin the other and it'd be weird if he was. No one's saying it's not understandable that OP was tired. Only that they were clearly incompatible and it's fine for him to have ended it, which he did rather than the OP, who seems to as blinkered as you about this.

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Fine. Maybe you are someone who drags themselves about, even if exhausted, to satisfy other peoples expectations constantly.

I am not.

I work very hard and often the tiredness doesn't hit till I arrive home and finally sit down. It's not something you can predict 3 hours in advance.

moderate · 05/05/2026 16:52

greatvisuals · 05/05/2026 16:49

Fine. Maybe you are someone who drags themselves about, even if exhausted, to satisfy other peoples expectations constantly.

I am not.

I work very hard and often the tiredness doesn't hit till I arrive home and finally sit down. It's not something you can predict 3 hours in advance.

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The poster to which you are replying here said:

"No one's saying it's not understandable that OP was tired. Only that they were clearly incompatible and it's fine for him to have ended it"

so your post comes across as rather oddly defensive.

GrandmasCat · 05/05/2026 16:52

I would say that unless the “too much work” arrived at the last minute and needed to be done by Sunday’s dawn, you were rude.

You could have cancelled earlier or done some work later on Sunday rather than simply cancelling at the last minute. At the end of the day it was Saturday night so it is not that a lot could go wrong if you did part of the work in Sunday. It is your own business after all.

I sent a guy flying for the same reason, he didn’t cancel but left work hours after our agreed time, didn’t bother to let me know until 15 minutes before arriving to my home when he was already 4 hours late for our restaurant booking… but then he thought I was the unreasonable one because I couldn’t understand he was busy at work.

I could understand someone being busy at work but what I cannot understand is flakey people cancelling at the last minute with no regard for what we agreed. If you cannot prioritise to balance work and a relationship you may be better off not wasting people’s time.

Avie29 · 05/05/2026 16:53

I get the impression you just weren’t that into him anyway OP, if you had only been seeing each other since October then you should still have been in that period where you want to be around each other as much as possible regardless of being tired etc and i think he probably felt that when you cancelled plans with him.
i understand the tiredness, life gets busy but if you can’t make time for your partner at the end of the day (nor them you) then its not going to work.

greatvisuals · 05/05/2026 16:57

moderate · 05/05/2026 16:52

The poster to which you are replying here said:

"No one's saying it's not understandable that OP was tired. Only that they were clearly incompatible and it's fine for him to have ended it"

so your post comes across as rather oddly defensive.

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You missed the previous post from this same poster:

"I suppose you love looking forward to your Saturday night date only to be dropped at the last minute because the guy would rather stay home. Sure you'd definitely not sulk about that at all and be super keen the next time he said jump."

ArabellaWeird · 05/05/2026 16:58

How has this become about "backing down"?

He's told you clearly that he no longer wants to see you. If you do anything other than accept this graciously (and probably also the fact that you're not relationship material at the moment) you will be unreasonable.

category12 · 05/05/2026 16:59

I was due to go round his on Saturday night but I had a very long day at work, didn’t get home until 7:30pm and by the time I’d have got my things together and drove to his it would have been after 9pm so I said I was staying home.

It doesn't sound like you were even particularly apologetic about it?

It's really rude to back out so last minute. If you were working so late, couldn't you have given him the heads up earlier? He ended up wasting a perfectly good Saturday evening waiting for you when he could have done something else.

If you had the attitude of not apologising about it and shrugging it off like it wasn't rude and inconvenient, then I'm not surprised he got the arse about it.

And it sounds like you got dumped, not that you let him go.

TinyGingerCat · 05/05/2026 17:01

He dumped you - you don’t get to agree to that. It’s a unilateral decision.

FloydPink · 05/05/2026 17:01

Not the same but by GF does this at times and I do find it rude - I always make the other person a priority and would still have gone even if we just sit in front of the TV for an hour

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 05/05/2026 17:02

He dumped you! You can’t say after that you’ve agreed to split.