Has anyone in their 30s met a partner through hobby groups?

[HeartbreakingCat]

Any time I read a thread about dating the general consensus is to meet a man in real life and to put yourself out there and go to hobby clubs/groups to meet a man. But has anyone actually met a man at a hobby group/ hobby club? I keep being told to join clubs to meet men instead of online dating but who has actually met their partner this way? I don’t think many men in their 30s join clubs but maybe im wrong. If they do then it’s probably sports related? And im not sporty or interested in sports (that also includes walking and hiking) so what clubs / hobbies do women in their 30s join to find a partner? The type of things im interested in is probably not going to attracted the type of men im interested in, if that makes sense! And I also don’t want to join something im not interested in in the hope of meeting a man (if a man did this to meet women he'd be considered a creep) Would be nice to know how many people in their 30s have actually met a partner at a hobby group?

😂 omg I just saw what you said about nerdy guys. Obviously you’re welcome to have your preference but there isn’t really just one type of nerdy guy! Honestly larp in particular attracts some of the most intelligent, talented and beautiful people I’ve ever met! If you want someone that can throw you over their shoulder and craft you beautiful leather pieces that’s where it’s at 😂

I once went to a 20s & 30s get-together for new people who were thinking of joining the younger Ramblers group, based around a major city.

I was there to make friends because I wasn't single at the time, but the experience put me off even going there to make friends. It was 70% men, most of them standing around clutching their beer awkwardly, eyes darting around the room regularly to see who else was there and me. It didn't feel natural. More like a speed dating event feel that wasn't advertised as such and without the lightheartedness.

Then I've tried more rural walking groups and they are very heavily dominated by people at least 20 years older than me, at the minimum. In the last one I went to, there was no one there younger than 50 years old I'd say.

As in board games? They're usually very male dominated, which I guess is ideal, but they can vary. Some feel ok and more normal, but some attract the aggressive, condescending, e-chauvinsist incels, the ones with big beards and who wear sweaty sci-fi T shirts.

😂

Lol, I know rather a lot of bearded sweaty sci fi T-shirt types and they are, without exception, the nicest men I know. In fact I’m (very happily!) married to a clean shaven model. You don’t know what you’re missing 😂

No video games lol heard of loads of people meeting their partners that way

I guess we all have our preferences

Im happy to date a bit older than me (just not younger)

My son met his partner through a hobby activity,

That's not my experience at all. Rather the opposite . The board game enthusiasts I know are gentle kind and not in the least incels!

yeh yours sound very specific.

Haha. They're not all like that obviously. Glad you found a gem.

I think you missed the part of my post that says they can vary. I like boardgames myself :)

True enough, but I do think part of OP’s issue might be a bit too much “judging a book by its cover” and writing off entire subsets of the male population based on preconceptions and assumptions 😅

Ya think???

Not really, you can’t help who you are attracted to and I’ve seen women say they don’t fancy gym guys so whats the difference? Im also not going to join groups for things im not interested in as if a man done that to meet women he’d be labelled a creep

I met my OH through a shared hobby but neither of us took it up to meet someone. I met previous OH at work. But I'm not you and you seem reluctant to do the former and say the latter isn't possible, so that leaves meeting someone through mutual friends/socialising or finding someone online.

I will probably stick to online.

I know someone who tried many kinds of groups. Who she mostly met was retired couples and lots or women on their own. I guess this is going to be the case, as she found, for arts, exercise, languages and even the local history group.

She did meet a nice guy eventually though, she got into motorcycles get togethers/ride outs where over 90% of the riders are male!

My 2nfriends all met their husbands through dancing. Jiving to be precise. Lots more women then men, true, but still worth a shot, plus it is fun.

I met my husband through a D&D group. We still play to this day.

You don’t necessarily meet them at the group, but as others have said through friends you make when you do s hobby that you genuinely enjoy.
I had s good relationship from age 60 for a couple of years with a man I met through a hobby when we were both invited to a hobby friend’s bbq. Then a year after that ended I met my current very lovely man at another hobby friend’s bbq. In nether case were I or the men going to those events hunting for a partner /it just haipprned naturally that we fell into conversation about the hobby.
Neither of those men or I would ever go on OLD.
I often do see women join our group specially of the lookout for a man. Its is very obvious and the usually drop out fairly soon as they don’t have sub actual interest in the hobby or on making friends other than potential dates.

Saying you don’t fancy any “type” and therefore won’t even consider someone who might fit that description is the issue. I’ve never been “interested in gym guys” and would certainly never have joined a gym to meet one, but have had a couple of relationships with men who happened to be much more into fitness than me when I met them through friends. We had other shared interests.

Of course you shouldn’t join groups you’re not interested in just to meet men, but if you are serious about wanting to meet a partner, you do need to make an active effort to expand your social circle of both men and women. That might include trying things you don’t think will interest you, on the off chance it turns out you have fun. Or stick with hobby groups for things you like, such as book clubs and craft groups. You probably won’t meet a man there, but as you make friends the women might introduce you to someone. And if they don’t, you’ve still have fun!

Gently, you seem to have got yourself into a very negative headspace with this whole thing, looking for problems with people’s suggestions rather than opportunities. I appreciate after nine years of being single, at an age when a lot of people are coupling up, it must feel really hard. It might be worth considering some counselling to help you work through these feelings and insecurities and reframe your outlook with more optimism.

My husband was the DM - iykyk 😅

Haven’t played for a couple of years but I know he is looking forward to playing RPGs with our little ones in a couple of years

We should start a group!