Has anyone in their 30s met a partner through hobby groups?

[HeartbreakingCat]

Any time I read a thread about dating the general consensus is to meet a man in real life and to put yourself out there and go to hobby clubs/groups to meet a man. But has anyone actually met a man at a hobby group/ hobby club? I keep being told to join clubs to meet men instead of online dating but who has actually met their partner this way? I don’t think many men in their 30s join clubs but maybe im wrong. If they do then it’s probably sports related? And im not sporty or interested in sports (that also includes walking and hiking) so what clubs / hobbies do women in their 30s join to find a partner? The type of things im interested in is probably not going to attracted the type of men im interested in, if that makes sense! And I also don’t want to join something im not interested in in the hope of meeting a man (if a man did this to meet women he'd be considered a creep) Would be nice to know how many people in their 30s have actually met a partner at a hobby group?

A friend did. Both in their 30s at the time. Married fairly quickly, happily married with 3 kids who also partake in the hobby. Lovely family.

One of the IRL dating event companies in London has started to do event holidays (skiing and now surfing), but they are having trouble finding men willing to go on the holidays. So these "dating" holidays are just turning Girls' Weekend away trips.

And I think you'll find that most hobby groups they're going to be very much stacked in favour of one sex over the other.

I am starting to see a lot of IRL dating events struggle to get men to go now. Something seems to have definitely happened that is putting a lot of men off.

I met my DH through a hobby group in my 30s. Best way to get someone imo. I've never done online dating.

This doesnt surprise me really. I just don’t think men join things the same way women do.

Not quite a hobby group, I met my now DH in my 30’s because of a volunteering role.

The men have probably realised that women are now better able to spot red flags etc and now rightly have higher standards.

Is this another thread full of people with top secret hobbies?

What gave you that impression? Lots of posters have said what their hobbies are.

At least one couple that I'm friends with met through some sort of fan group, it was online but they would arrange meet ups around the country. They first met and talked at one of those, went to some of the same meet ups and then started dating. That was in their early 30s and by late 30s/early 40s they were married, owned a home together and had 2 kids. Think they've been married about a decade now.

I also have a relative who is into gaming as you say, used to go to competitions around the country for a specific game, met his partner at one of those. Although they're in their 20s to be fair, not sure what difference the age makes really though. The same principle applies that they initially met at and bonded over a shared interest. They have been together a few years now and live together, they were from different regions of the UK as well.

I might actually know others without realising etc but that's 2 off the top of my head.

So all the women that go to these events are "decent" yet all the men are "red flags"? I've seen similar posts that say that all the men are awful on the dating apps, but the same rule didn't apply to women. I just find it very strange that wherever "decent" women go, "decent" men don't. Are all the "decent" men at places where there are no "decent" women?

I've just thought of another couple but also in their 20s who met playing the same competitive sport.

I met mine at a running club. He is much better than me but we had some other connections in common too.

Age is important tbf as I don’t want to end up in a hobby full of old retired men and the men i know in their 30s dont go to hobby groups so I don’t know if im going to meet many men at them my age, most men I know in their 30s dont go to organised hobbies and mainly go on nights out, to the pub, or meet up with friends.

You’re arguing against a point I didn’t make. However, let’s not pretend that men and women are abusive to the same extent. If you want evidence for what I’m saying, you only need to look at the incel, red pill and manosphere movements. I’ve yet to see any comparable movements involving women.

Yes, even if you make new women friends, surely they will know other men that you might end up mixing with and liking?

DH has been in a club for several years now. He knows 4 couples in the club, in their 30s and 40s who have met there.
It’s a sporting based club

My sister met her husband in her 40s when she went to learn how to play golf

Met DH through our walking club - there are at least 10 couples who we know, did the same - so it happens!
I hadn't joined for the purposes of meeting a partner - I joined as it was a low entry way (ie no expensive new kit and I had some old walking boots) to get some exercise and spend time outdoors.

I found walking side by side, rather than face to face, made talking easier.
I'm glad I found my courage to try something new. I had been single for a long time at that point, all my friends were coupled up, and I'd exhausted internet dating.

I have friends I don’t want them setting me up the times they tried (without me asking!) this was men that they had gone on dates with but they didn’t fancy them or it didn’t go any further so they tried to pass them on to me, might be ok for some but would rather not have friends cast offs🤣

A neighbour met his wife through a salsa dancing class. I met a man through a book group but he was a real player. Met a man through a walking group but he wasn’t my type at all, a bit geeky. The meet up groups can bring about dating options.

The last 3 have been sports based, maybe that’s where I’m going wrong. I can’t fake it and pretend to like sports though sadly.

What about sporting events? World Cup is on next month, find a nice pub with a garden. Just avoid the lager louts. Otherwise honestly you’ll spend ages at groups. Finding not much. What about speed dating?

I’m an adult instructor with the Army Cadets, and know quite a few people who have met their partner and in several cases now spouse through the ACF!

Sometimes you have to fake it a bit. Or widen your interests. Would you go to eg a vegan conference? Or music event? Country fair?

There is also the Femosphere and pink pilling, something which the mainstream media has recently picked up on. So it does exist.

The players and the "red flag" men are not those likely to stay away though, all that happens are that the "decent" men stay away because they're the ones who take the message on-board. In many respects it becomes a self-perpetuating problem.

I think social media does create more of a disconnect between the sexes. I've seen a number of women think that their love of Taylor Swift will be a shared interest with men!