Has anyone in their 30s met a partner through hobby groups?

[HeartbreakingCat]

Any time I read a thread about dating the general consensus is to meet a man in real life and to put yourself out there and go to hobby clubs/groups to meet a man. But has anyone actually met a man at a hobby group/ hobby club? I keep being told to join clubs to meet men instead of online dating but who has actually met their partner this way? I don’t think many men in their 30s join clubs but maybe im wrong. If they do then it’s probably sports related? And im not sporty or interested in sports (that also includes walking and hiking) so what clubs / hobbies do women in their 30s join to find a partner? The type of things im interested in is probably not going to attracted the type of men im interested in, if that makes sense! And I also don’t want to join something im not interested in in the hope of meeting a man (if a man did this to meet women he'd be considered a creep) Would be nice to know how many people in their 30s have actually met a partner at a hobby group?

An ex colleague of mine met her partner at an astronomy club

I know lots of women who have met their husbands from apps but also try and go out too. If you can’t that’s fine. Try a range of apps. Some are slightly better than others. Read about using the “burned haystack method”.

Also it may have been mentioned but have you considered language exchange groups ? Or something like salsa?

They are not people my friends think are suitable they were people my friends went on dates with then decided for whatever reason it wasn’t going to work out so tried to pass them on to me, if you are happy to do that then good for you but I don’t want to date someone who actually wanted my friend and had to settle for me lol. I also wouldn’t date a friends ex.

That's a really unhealthy way to view relationships.

I understand not wanting to date someone who had been in a long relationship with a friend, but a few dates is different.

Just because they happened to meet your friend first and they weren't a good fit, doesn't mean you aren't a good fit. It dorsn't make you the "second place prize". What an odd notion.

Each to their own 🤷‍♀️

DD (34) has just started dating a guy that she met at the local pub/restaurant. Turns out he is best friends with the partner of one of her friends!

I was at a gig last night and I couldn’t get over how many men were making eye contact and trying to hold it. I’m not stunning btw, and I’m married, it just struck me that there were lots of guys keen to meet someone at this gig. If I was single I would go to more gigs!

I did in my 40s.

I joined a band as the bass player and started going out with one of the other band members.

We'd known each other for 3 or 4 years before we got together and have been together for 5 years now. I'm now 51.

My take on this is that the subtext is to ‘go out and do stuff that you really enjoy’ rather than focus all your energy on finding someone. The benefit is that you enjoy your life and are in a good place should you notice someone to make sure you choose only people who further enhance your life.

that makes perfect sense to me that the activity really doesn’t matter. And that joining an xx club walking or whatever in the hope of meeting someone is missing the point entirely.

My son is 27 and he goes to a writing group at a local pub. He also volunteers with a food bank/community kitchen that goes into the city centre in the evenings and hands out meals and warm clothes to homeless people.

The pub is just a venue - the focus isn't drinking but he has met a few like minded people there.

Same with the volunteering. He just enjoys being with a wide age range of people who have similar values to him.

Men and women at both.

I would say voluntary work or a pressure group are worth a try.
I met my partners through my sporty jobs, but I see this isn't an option.
Best bet is to decide you're really happy single and want to stay that way. Then some bugger is bound to turn up and derail it!

I too think that going out with an DF’s ex and having them suggest a bloke you might get on with are two separate things. I’ve never dated a guy who has been in a relationship with a DF, but if they said I’ve met this guy, I think he’s great but we just haven’t clicked and I think you two would really get along, then that seems totally different but like you say, we’re all different but if you’re after love it’s not necessarily a good idea to put too many specifications in place.

I had a lovely BF in my 20s who I met just through those circumstances.

Also agree with swearing you’ll be single forever. I did and DH called me the very next day!

And yes, do activities you enjoy and live your life. You’ll have more fun.

It’s ok the men they tried to set me up with were absolutely nothing like my type anyway (physically) so I’m not missing much, I don’t mind if it’s a colleague or old family friend etc but I draw the line at someone they met on a dating site, but as you said each to their own! I don’t think that’s too strict of a rule.

Well Ive been out the last few weekends for family stuff/concerts and have mainly concluded that groups of men are more likely to be found in bowling/pool clubs rather than pubs on Fri/Sat evenings.

What about local gigs? Anyone you can rope in for a night in a pub?

I agree though, dating today is brutal!!!

Ooo which gig was that??

Can I make another suggestion? Walk a dog. It doesn’t have to be yours. It could belong to family or a friend or you could volunteer for the Cinnamon Trust. I have literally never been asked out so much as the week I looked after a DDog belonging to family.

There are quite a few single men who volunteer alongside me at my local food bank. Or if you head to the WI some of the ladies have single sons 🌝

Gonna get hate for this but I hate dogs

I met my husband at a shared hobby.

We've been together for nearly 20 years.

I think you are officially a lost cause!

Swear yourself off men for good, book some things that you want to do and see what happens

Choirs are prime dating grounds. I know sooo many couples who met through choirs.

Also a vote for boardgames groups. Don’t dismiss the nerdy types - Henry Cavill is super into Warhammer 😅

Don’t worry I hate dogs but I met someone. I had to avoid the ones with dogs in their profile 😆

ETA ok actually I don’t hate dogs, that’s a bit strong- but I just don’t have zero interest in them and find them a nuisance usually especially as they’re everywhere now.

I find the idea of being with someone who bangs on about their dog , has to rush back home to look after their Fido or take it everywhere so tedious .

The kind of guy who would approach me mainly only because I’m with a dog isn’t one I’d want to be with 😆 or be well suited too

Ah im gonna sound awful but choir wouldnt work either as im not religious

lol glad to hear it! Cats on the other hand 😍 🐈‍⬛

Were those also the ones holding a fish or was that two categories you needed to avoid?

OP Ive just read something interesting. The algorithms on the dating sites aren’t designed to get you your perfect match, they’re designed to keep you coming back to the site. Not sure how you deal with that though but I think meeting people outside of the apps seems a sensible step