Has anyone in their 30s met a partner through hobby groups?

[HeartbreakingCat]

Any time I read a thread about dating the general consensus is to meet a man in real life and to put yourself out there and go to hobby clubs/groups to meet a man. But has anyone actually met a man at a hobby group/ hobby club? I keep being told to join clubs to meet men instead of online dating but who has actually met their partner this way? I don’t think many men in their 30s join clubs but maybe im wrong. If they do then it’s probably sports related? And im not sporty or interested in sports (that also includes walking and hiking) so what clubs / hobbies do women in their 30s join to find a partner? The type of things im interested in is probably not going to attracted the type of men im interested in, if that makes sense! And I also don’t want to join something im not interested in in the hope of meeting a man (if a man did this to meet women he'd be considered a creep) Would be nice to know how many people in their 30s have actually met a partner at a hobby group?

Haha if only, I’ve been single for 9 years

Yes, ok, I see what you mean. I know many men in their 30s who regularly go to hobby groups/similar, some examples include football, chess, playing in a band (so open mic nights/performing at parties/comps and that type of thing), bouldering, parkrun / other running events, martial arts, probably others too as that's just off the top of my head.

Met my guy online 15 years ago but I know at least two people (good friends) who found their long term partners through hobby groups.

If it’s been 9 years get on dating apps. Where are you based? There used to be one called Doing something. And one in London where you only logged in on a Thursday. To be honest, if you want to find someone now, put as much effort in as possible.

Actually, I did meet a few guys through a local pub night tribute night. I looked for ones who looked single and friendly and approached them. Not flirty just friendly. It totally worked! Music nights with or without a band are good too.

I used to work in the cafe at my local climbing wall, and climb every day. Honestly, I've never met so many attractive and lovely people of both sexes. I met my wife because I lived on a boat, and she used to walk her dog down the towpath.

You seem to be ruling out a lot of potential interactions for reasons best known to yourself. If people are trying to put more people into your dating sphere when you are struggling to do this through your own efforts , it may be better to to have a more open mind than consider them to be ‘cast offs’.

Yes, I already posted some earlier.

You can do active things without doing sports - several people have mentioned Ramblers/walking groups, there are nature groups e.g. environmental volunteering, birdwatching; you could volunteer at Scouts (I won't suggest Guides!); cycling is often male-heavy even in the leisure groups (I used to go to a women's cycling group but I am not sure I'd enjoy a mixed group unless it was really mixed, but you might); climbing and caving are not fast-and-furious, both involve a lot of thought and planning and a bit of effort.

If you are happy to date someone who wanted your friend instead then go for it! I don’t want to date men who my friends didnt want. I think im going to stick to online dating.

Surely not every man is either "good enough for anyone" or "totally rejectable by all women"? I am very happily married to someone that I very much doubt my three best friends would have dated. And two of them have been in lovely long term relationships with people I'd never have touched with a bargepole. One is married to a man I wouldn't have ever been interested, and one dated my cousin (!) (let's not go there!) for quite a few years. The final one of the three has been a single mum for ever but her daughter's dad and her were happily together for some time and I wouldn't have dated him!

My sister met her DH at a hobby group, poetry buy they were both over 60 and widowed.

I know someone that married a fellow Morris dancer in their late twenties.

There is a big board gaming place in the next town over, I love board games but when I looked online it was full to the brim of just blokes so didn’t fancy it at all. Maybe board gaming?

What do you actually like?

Personally if I end up single I’m going to hang round B&Q or ScrewFix as it’s awash with men who know what to do with their hands. I often pick up stuff for DH as I’m in town near DIY places and it’s quite the hunting ground. I would be asking something I had at least some knowledge of like ratchets but then press them for advice on for instance ratchet size, do young people not do flirting in the wild anymore?

I can think of loads of men that my friends are happily married to that would do nothing for me. One in particular, good grief my vagina hermetically seals just thinking of him. Just like my mates may not fancy a very skinny retired Professor who explains things like he has swallowed a dictionary and sings to horses in fields, he does however suit me. Obviously if there is a massive red flag that’s different.

I met my DH at a naturist event.
Also another partner, who I had a relationship with before my DH.

Years ago now, but I met DH through a hobby group, but yes it was a sport I'm afraid.

I've met pretty much all mine through hobbies or friends of friends. All turned out to be dysfunctional, though.

Only a few through clubbing, pubs.

Swimming. Drama. Astronomy. Martial Art. Film club

Yes, I met both my ex-Hs at work. Since they are now ex-Hs, I am not sure that's a good recommendation, although second ex-H did give me two beautiful DC!

I’ve met most of my partners through a love of heavy metal. Geeky metalheads tend to make very loyal, loving boyfriends - although sadly they don’t all resemble Pete Steele (may he R.I.P.).
I met another through learning a foreign language and several when I picked up a few shifts at my local pub. Pulled a guy at the gym and got chatting to one on a train.
I know someone who met their partner at a martial arts class (straddling them and rolling around on the mat helps develop an intimacy before you’ve even learned their name) and another met the love of their life while walking the dog.
I also know someone who caught their partner’s attentions when she bent over the chest freezer in Waitrose.

Like a real life episode of Naked Attraction then.

DH and I joke about people saying this because that is exactly how I landed in his lap. Poor guy was tucked up in bed in his pjs and gets a drunken text on his phone from me who had gone out with his mum!

Really weird attitude with the "cast offs" thing. Just because a person isn't right for someone else, it doesn't mean they aren't right for you.

I think dating apps are the only to go, sorry OP. When you are younger lots of people are single and looking, so yes there's a good chance you may meet someone at a hobby, through friends or out and about.

When we get older though, most people are coupled up or not looking for some other reason. It's about numbers imo and what are the chances that someone at one small hobby group is single and looking, let alone that it's someone who would suit you. Online we can at least find people who are looking to meet someone.

I met my DH through mutual friends at work, but there were loads of men at climbing and running when I did those. There are always a lot of men at the gym as well. Presumably there are other things that men like but I do think it is mainly sporty hobbies that get men out of the house. I always spoke to a lot of men when I worked in bars or pubs.

I agree with this too. The OP has been single for a long time which I can imagine is frustrating but is rejecting Men who her friends think will be suitable, all Men interested in sport and all Men who have geeky hobbies. Thats a lot of Men with an automatic rejection.

I’m a little older and the only DF I know who has met a DH recently has done so through online dating, is that something you’ve considered?

And a lovely guy at work has met his DP through online dating but had to widen his search so they’ve been about an hour apart until one of them made the move.