DH taking dirty clothes from washing basket cos they aren’t dirty enough to warrant a wash? TF?

[Tootiredtofuction88]

Hi everyone. I’d appreciate some input on this - my H will go through what I’ve put in the washing basket and decide what he thinks needs to be washed. I popped a pair of jeans in there that I’d worn three times. No huge stains just looking a bit dishevelled. I walk in the bathroom to find H fishing them out. Cue huge discussion that I think as an adult I can bloody well make my own decisions about what needs washing and that this is mentally controlling! I don’t expect him to do my laundry so, politely, he can do one. Am I in the wrong!?

Yeah then expect to live happily ever after.
Jesus.
Get real

Are you living in such poverty that the water / electricity use from 'unnecessary' washing is a real consideration? If you are then it's worth thinking about how to make less laundry and discussing with him a joint strategy.

If not, he needs to stop interfering with your clothes. Separate laundry baskets if that helps him by not seeing your washing. But this hits me at the WTF level - it's none of his business and not a thing he gets to voice an opinion about.

Is it just this or is he controlling in other ways? Does he want particular clothes to be 'clean' to discourage you from wearing other clothes? Does he want you to feel unclean by wearing clothes you consider to be dirty?

There's lots of help available from Women's Aid / the Relationships section here / local domestic abuse services if you want to talk through what ending your relationship might look like.

I agree. I'd tell him to leave your washing alone. You're an adult and it's up to you to decide when your clothes need washing. If your clothes are in the basket then they need to be washed.

Get him an LAPD (LAundry Police Department) hat.

I would tell him that if he does it again you will give him his own laundry basket and he can do his own.

Think his behaviour is odd weird and a bit OD and to. honest.even a bit like control fetish.

I would have separate wash baskets..One each. And keep mine

In a locked cupboard

Let him do his own washing
🧺👖🔐

My ex husband used to take plastic packages out of the bin (think beef mince packaging), WASH them and put them in the recycling.

Our local council doesn't recycle soft plastics.

Gross

His own clothes, fine, but not yours!

You can make your own decisions about when you wash your own clothes .
I might ..just might , very quickly pull an item from the top of the basket if it had literally just been put there and I thought it was still clean enough for one or 2 wears .
My youngest daughter who still lives with us is terrible for her floordrobe .
Stuff is dropped there and I don’t know what’s clean, what’s dirty and what could be worn again.
To save myself the extra laundry I pick through stuff as I feel hoodies can be worn a few times as can jeans and trousers.
Obviously knickers , socks and t shirts are washed after one wear .
I hang things on hangers on the back of bedroom door if they’re clean enough to be worn again, sometimes hang by an open window for fresh air