DH taking dirty clothes from washing basket cos they aren’t dirty enough to warrant a wash? TF?

[Tootiredtofuction88]

Hi everyone. I’d appreciate some input on this - my H will go through what I’ve put in the washing basket and decide what he thinks needs to be washed. I popped a pair of jeans in there that I’d worn three times. No huge stains just looking a bit dishevelled. I walk in the bathroom to find H fishing them out. Cue huge discussion that I think as an adult I can bloody well make my own decisions about what needs washing and that this is mentally controlling! I don’t expect him to do my laundry so, politely, he can do one. Am I in the wrong!?

Of course you can but it's not a big deal - just ask him not to and move on.

Is he only controlling about your laundry?

I think the point is we shouldn’t need to be asking people to not interfere with our laundry. It’s weird.

Well yes I’ve tried that. Still happening. He can clearly see what I’ve put in laundry basket and then filter it. I, as a nearly 40 year old woman, am clearly not fit to do that

Tbf that’s really wasteful personally I’d just run the iron over them

How very weird. Is he a controlling person? Or is he an eco warrior? Either way, really odd and annoying.

Well, clearly the op personally feels that they are fit for the wash. Or, are you suggesting that her DH is the one to fish them out of the basket and run an iron over them? Not that I'd be thrilled with that either.

Bonkers and quite controlling!

tell him you leaked period into them, and say that with every item he removes, even if it's a hat.

Get your own laundry basket.

💯 Weird!!!!

Rescuing something that’s just gone in -maybe okay?
but something that has been sat with dirty pants and socks for a few days would now smell of dirty pants and socks so can’t be worn now anyway!

This is brilliant 😂

OP it’s one thing deciding your own clothes don’t need washing so frequently but completely different if he’s making those decisions on your behalf. I don’t tend to wash jeans until I’ve worn them about 5 times, I might wear them to work (desk job) or to the shops or on a walk, they’re not actively getting dirty and I hang them up between wears. I tend to wash them just for freshness really rather than ‘to remove dirt’. But that’s my decision and my judgement call. He needs to wind his neck in.

That's weird of him. Weirder that he's carried on doing it after you've told him to stop.
What else does he try to control?

Like your username 🤣

How very peculiar.

All depends how long they have been worn for surely? 3x2 hours, maybe you could iron them but 3x12 hours then they really need a wash.

Yeah it's weird if, as you say, he isn't doing your laundry.

Moving forward, have separate laundry baskets, and you do your laundry, and he does his own.

Oh gosh and here come the debaters on how long something should be worn before being washed 🙄 Thats not the issue people, OP could wash her clothes after 1 wear or after 50 wears, the point is thats up to her not her husband.

What is his reaction to you telling him to stop doing it? He is annoyed and thinks he know best or just ignores you and does it again? It's bloody weird of him though

That's revolting. Has he always done this or is he developing eccentricities as he gets older?
What does he do with your clothes that he's fished out? Surely he doesn't hang them back up in your wardrobe?!
Since he's continuing to do it when you've asked him not to, all you can do is get your own separate laundry basket and tell him extremely firmly not to interfere.
Or start putting his dirty pants and socks back in his drawer, and say you're deciding on his behalf what's dirty enough for washing and what isn't, like he does to you.

Other option is to stock up on Febreeze, or jug of water in the basket

'Stop trying to control what I do with my washing, its fucking weird'
And if he talks at you, talk over him, loudly, and repeat that sentence over and over again.
Anyone bonkers enough to try and control your washing doesnt deserve to be 'heard out' if im honest.
Does he do this with anything else??

I assumed this would be about his own clothes but it is deeply odd behaviour for him decide when YOUR clothes need to be washed or not.

Do you think it could be a kink? Maybe he wants you to get dirty with him?

Probably best to get it out in the open. Start it by sniffing at your clothes and saying, 'Pheeeww! I'm sure feeling like a dirty girrrrl' [knowing wink].

Then wait to see what his reaction is.

I dont have a laundry basket, everything goes straight into the washing machine.

I even wash bath towels after every use, I change my bedding once a week.

And I live alone.
No one should tell anyone when or how to do their laundry.