DH taking dirty clothes from washing basket cos they aren’t dirty enough to warrant a wash? TF?

[Tootiredtofuction88]

Hi everyone. I’d appreciate some input on this - my H will go through what I’ve put in the washing basket and decide what he thinks needs to be washed. I popped a pair of jeans in there that I’d worn three times. No huge stains just looking a bit dishevelled. I walk in the bathroom to find H fishing them out. Cue huge discussion that I think as an adult I can bloody well make my own decisions about what needs washing and that this is mentally controlling! I don’t expect him to do my laundry so, politely, he can do one. Am I in the wrong!?

Echoing what a pp said - when he fishes them out, does he hang them back up?
When did this behaviour start?
What is his response when you tell him to stop?

Whenever he leaves any food serve it next meal. Tell him it's good enough to be eaten again.
Or I'd be considering my relationship...

Just what OP needs - someone else telling her how she should manage her own laundry.

Stop doing his laundry. Any clothes he puts in the laundry basket, put back in his drawer or cupboard. Only do your own laundry from now on until he apologises profusely.

I do this! But only because DH and DC will put a clean jumper on, decide it’s too warm, then instead of putting it back in the wardrobe will chuck it in (near) the laundry basket. Drives me mad.

Good shout!!! major musk scent fetish ha

Is he on some obsessive eco-drive? Whatever the reasons, it is a very weird and controlling thing to do. Almost sends a message that he doesn't trust your judgement.

That’s the kind of point I was trying to make but got my arse handed to me

Dear God Alive

how old is he?

I think it's rank when people say they do this to their kids/teens who put clothes in the laundry rather than away, as I think things are not fresh once they've been in a laundry basket with dirty clothes. I found allowing them a vktges chair ir similar worked better. But I have some sympathy for them...

but a DH doing it to a wife (or vice versa) just NO. I have one male friend who is very environmentally minded (to the extreme) & I can see him wanting to do this. But he wouldn't & if he did you'd only have to tell him once not to & he wouldn't. BUT first & foremost he's hardest on his OWN life.

what does he say when you tell him to leave your laundry the fuck alone?

Haha very Mumsnet

Your husband desperately needs to take up a hobby OP

Do it back to him with every single item he puts into the laundry bin until he stops

How is suggesting running an iron over worn jeans in any way the same as taking out clean washing someone couldn’t be bothered to put away?

No you were saying that OP couldn’t wash something that had been worn 3 times already.

No it wasn't and no you didn't

I'd wear the same outfit every day for 2 weeks while in his company, make sure it's nice and stinky. OP, he's being a numpty, of course you can decide to wash whatever you want to wash whenever you want to. Anything else he needs to be told to go do one. There really are some strange people around.

My other half takes off a jumper that he's worn for a week, over clean t-shirts every day fairly, and will pop it back in the cupboard telling me it's not dirty. So I have it the other way around, I have to hunt his dirty stuff to wash it.

I do think many people overwash clothes, but he leave your clothes be.

I'm married, but doing exactly this.
Husband very appreciative.

I would hate that. If I decide something I wear needs washing then it needs washing. It would make me paranoid that clothes have been put back and I wouldn't realise I smelt until I was out and about.

I think you need to come up with a short snappy retort and repeat as infinitum
Im quite capable of making that decision thank you, put it back
or
fuck off and mind your own business
He sounds annoying, I would be inclined to find something you consider wasteful that he likes to do and keep bringing it up
“Oh have you got the tv on again that’s a waste of electricity “
”having another beer? Water is cheaper”
”one roastie is enough”
but it’s petty and you shouldn’t have to (and it might make him worse!)

And throw the water over him to deter this weird behaviour?

OP, I’d tell him to leave your washing alone. Outrageous interference. I would be very annoyed! Do you do his laundry? If so, tell him to butt out or you’ll stop doing it.

Have you had a chat about why he does this? Is he worried about too many loads of laundry and the electricity bills? Is he an eco warrior?
Hubs generally wears his work shirts twice before washing and wondered why I wash my work dresses after each wear, I explained that working with kids I get covered in germs, snot and god knows what else each day and can get quite sweaty running around all day whereas he is in a calm air conditioned environment. Once explained he completely understood.

🤮

Does he pay your electric bill? The only explanation that would make any sense.