New DP doesn’t use my name

[jerrywesterby]

Very new guy, approx 2 months of dating, everything is going great, he’s kind and funny and attentive, I really like him. However, I realised the other day that in all the time I’ve known him he’s never used my name! Either in texts or in person.. he doesn’t start any messages with “Hi Jerrywesterby” for eg. I say his name all the time, im starting to wonder if he even knows what it is! It’s weird right? Im not sure whether to bring it up because I don’t want him to feel like I’ve been keeping score, or just wait and see… wwyd?

Easy.

Next time you are round his house or yours, hide in a cupboard.

He's got to shout something eventually.

Rodney?

I find that bizarre

Jennifer, Alison, Phillipa, Sue, Deborah, Annabel... 🤔

So he does use your name occasionally, and he calls you an affectionate nickname.
I'd be ok with that.

Well I’m guessing he 💯 knows your name , you’re obviously in his contact list 😂.
I never use someone’s name when messaging 🤷🏻‍♀️.
When I go to work alright I greet people by their name when I meet them , but when I’m dating someone I don’t think I ever greet them using their name when we meet up .

I never use DP's name to address him directly, and would never use it in a text, I would find it weird to even try. I think it's an individual thing. Some people do, some people don't.

^im wondering if some of these husbands know their wives names🤔

I rarely use a persons name ‘in real life’. It’s not normal to do so…and can in fact be jarring to hear your name constantly used. I immediately think of slimy car salesmen who were taught (wrongly!) that it ‘creates rapport’ to use the customers name. It doesn’t. It’s weird!

Sounds like a rum chap

Been married to Dh for 18 years. He’d freak out and think something was wrong with me if I called him by his name.

We used to call each other all sorts of weird ass things. Like he was my Panda and I was his Bamboo.

And then I had to apply for a spousal visa to move to the UK to marry him and the Home Office asked for two years of emails between us to demonstrate that our relationship was legit. 🫣😂 We clearly looked legit because who would fake a relationship like that. “Good morning my Walrus!” “Good morning to you my little Sardine!” Whoever had to process my file must have been like, what the hell?! Do we really want this one?! 🤣

Maybe not weird but I think you'll be in a minority with this one.
I don't use names unless I'm messaging someone who I haven't contacted before. Like I'll just start with Hi Jane before ploughing into whatever I want to say.
Can't recall using names in conversation either except when when in groups or if I need to address a comment to one person in particular within a group.

Perhaps he's forgotten your name and now he feels too awkward to ask.

I'd somehow be mentioning my name in conversation to remind him and let him off the hook. Maybe then he'd use it occasionally.

I think the name is important to be said between friends. My brother calls me mr pryce, He has severely rarely called me Josh, or Joshua but he hates me. My sister calls me froshface, my family havent spoken to me in years.

This. In fact I will say ‘don’t first name me’ because I know when he does it he is annoyed or trying to make a pointed comment.

Dh doesn’t call me by my name unless he’s trying to get my attention like I’m in another room. If he’s talking about me to someone else he would use my name I assume.
I also don’t use his name unless I’m calling him for his attention. Neither of us has ever used names in texts, who starts a text to their spouse/partner with Hi Name I would only do this if it was an acquaintance or someone I didn’t know maybe, but I would be more likely to just say Hi this is My Name rather than Hi Their Name

I always use someone’s name (or more usually a nickname or person-specific endearment) when I’m talking to them. Most of my family does (I mean the family I was born into), dunno why, it’s just how we are. My husband has probably used my name about 20 times in the more than 20 years I’ve known him! Like you, he’d only use a name to differentiate the one he wanted to address from a group of people, otherwise he can’t see the point.
I think both are fine and your new fella might well simply be in the second group. If you’re in the first it does take a bit of getting used to!

we never used eachothers names really. only time I hear him say my name mainly is when hes in the other room and hes just checked the shared back account transactions 😌🤣

If you anything at all about dating apps you would know that this is in NO way a “stretch”.

I don't think this is unusual tbh.

Does he call you anything though? If he refers to you by term of affection then I think that's fine (as long as you don't find it offensive of course). I very rarely hear my husband call me by my name unless I hear him talking about me to someone else, eg "Detective Douche and I went to that area of Spain a few years ago too...".

The rest of the time he just calls me his term of affection for me. That's what he calls up the stairs when he gets home from work for instance if I'm in the bath eg... DP doesn't do this kind of thing then?

I’ve been with my husband for 22 years. The only time I right his name is a message is when his phone is on silent and I send him a barrage of messages because I need him. He has called me”babe” for our entire relationship and uses my actual name very rarely.

I actually find it weird that you find it weird. 😂

I’m trying to remember the last time my husband actually said my name? He does when talking about me. But I can’t recall him ever actually saying it to me? He’ll say my nickname ie ‘love you Florian’ when he texts on a workday. But no, never my name.

My DH rarely uses my name either, we've been married more than 50 years. He used my name for the wedding ceremony but rarely apart from that!
I find that the only people who use it are those I've just met and are trying not to forget it, or my son when he's feeling put-upon and grumpy and wants to have something out with me.

I’m going to get on the band wagon, my husband doesn’t use my name. Unless he really needs to catch my attention.