We’ve been cut out of the will.

[Nottellinganyone]

It’s taken me a while to realise it [slow on the uptake] but my FIL died a year ago and it properly came home to me last night that I’ve been cut out of the will - which isn’t that strange, as I’m only a widowed DIL - but also ds has as well. I really thought ds was a beloved grandchild, and after all we lost his dad when he was a teenager. No money but also no keepsake or message, nothing like a ring or a book or anything.

And now on top of that I feel like a fool for ever believing it was otherwise. FIL once described his will to us years ago when Dh was still alive, and he’d set up family trusts for each of his children and their own families. But I guess once Dh died that ended. I feel like I’ve been shoved out and the door slammed.

I don’t think you earn yours with any empathy required 🙈

If we give you a round of applause, will it prevent you from saying anything more insensitive?

Sadly we have to stay focused on our own goals and times, we cannot rely on the positive information people give sometimes. My uncle made alot of promises to family that he didnt follow through on. I take every good word with a pinch of salt.

There is a way to check for the existence of a Will and the contents of that Will before Probate has been granted - the National Wills Register:

National Wills Register

The cost of doing that (up to £100) is higher than getting a Probate copy but might be worth doing if the Executor is being a dick and is either really slow and incompetent at performing their duties, or deliberately not doing so.

Another option:
● use the HM Land Registry site to order a copy of the freehold title document of the FIL's house. Who that property is currently listed as owned by will tell you whether Probate is being / has been dealt with:

1. if the title doc says the property is still owned by FIL (or indeed if both names of FIL and MIL are listed as owners) then the Executor has not gotten round to things

2. the property could be listed as owned by a Trust or "The Estate of the late ......" which would inform you that Probate is being dealt with but the property is not sold yet

3. or if deceased FIL's house is listed at HMLR as now owned by new owners then the date of when that new owner took possession of the property will tell you when things were dealt with ...... and also that the Executor does know and the Executor does have some information for you.

Third option:
Get a local solicitor to send a letter to the Executor requesting a copy of the Will and also a copy of any Trust documents that may have been set up for your son.

Obviously that will have a financial cost (up to £300 plus VAT) but would give you peace of mind.

Will a solicitor really give a copy of a will to a non executor?

when mil died i had to physically go and collect the will from the solicitor, who kept it in a vault. With a million forms of ID.

ETA: google tells me if there is no probate only executors have the right to see the will, and a solicitor will not provide a copy to a beneficiary without the permission of the executor.

Technically yes however a well drafted letter from a solicitor to the Executor is likely to put a firecracker up his backside and prompt him into action of doing something

The letter would need to point out that the grandson of FIL had always been told several times during FIL's life that there would be a Trust set up for him -- and that thus in effect the grandson in question (son of OP) would be treated equally with all the other grandchildren.

I've just realised after typing my second paragraph above that the easiest (meanest?) most obvious way the FIL may have chosen to exclude the OP and her son (the grandson) is if:

● the FIL changed his Will to simply gift his Estate to his own direct line surviving children (with no provision for what happens to the share of a deceased child).

● if the FIL had done that in the last year or two of his life, he could have cut grandchildren out if his Will entirely (and removed Trust provisions for the grandchildren) and left lump sums to his surviving children for them to deal with or distribute as they see fit
(ie. if those adult children decide to share part of the inheritance they receive with their children - the grandchildren of FIL - then that becomes a private matter and personal choice for them).

This scenario is, unfortunately, the most likely explanation of why the OP has not heard anything.

But also a good reason for the OP to try and establish the facts, obtain a copy of the Will (from the 3 places it may be possible to obtain a copy).

And whilst it would be sad and disheartening to know that the FIL had actually deliberately excluded that grandchild -- it would provide clarity.

The issue for the OP at the moment is that she just does not know what the situation is either:

(a) FIL did change his Will;

(b) the Executor is being slow and uncooperative but there is a provision for the grandson but OP has not been informed;

(c) the Executor is actually acting fraudulently keeping everything for themselves and not informing people and not performing their Executor duties correctly.

Which is why the first step for OP is to try and obtain a copy of the Will to establish what the actual situation is.

100 % this...nothing in life is given! However a little keepsake would've been nice!

Like I say don’t be a dick BrendaSmallbrain

BrendaSmallbrain 🤣

Keep begging!
🤣🤣