Friend upset after I reported hacked account to the police

[ThisHappyBiscuit]

So my sons account got hacked by a friend of mines son who gave the details to someone to hack into. When this was all happening I said if my son's accounts password isn't given to me then im guna have to contact the police and my friend said "do it". So I did call when I didn't get the password. Ive gone upto my friend today and she's said do you really think you should be talking to me? I said why what's the matter? She said well we are under criminal investigation cause of you and we shouldn't be talking. I said well you told me to contact them and she said well it was to shut you up (in so many words) cause you were going off on one. Im really upset because I thought she was my friend and im just so lost now because I literally have no friends outside of my life. Can I just have some friendly words of encouragement because I'm just so lost and feeling so alone right now.

Your son was daft. His friend was daft. They’re 10. This is wild. I can’t believe you involved the police FFS.

I can see the difference.

What you apparently can't understand is the point that ignoring it at 10, and treating theft/hacking/fraud like a little tiff between friends, rather than what is it.. a crime that at 10 they are criminally responsible for is negligent parenting, and how you end up with them being casual thieves later on in life.

Would i report it to the police? Depends... if i could resolve it, no.. and my kids would be come down on like a ton of bricks, be made to return everything/repay/apologise and have their access to the internet revoked until further notice.

But if i was treated like the OP, and the parents react like it's no big deal, then yes.. i would report it, because clearly the parents don't give a toss at their kids being thieving little horrors, so someone needs to teach them a lesson.

But the in game stuff was still bought with real world cash, it has real world value.

No different to nicking 45 quid out of his bag.

If a young (under 10 or so) gets away with even a minor issue they will probably then go on to larger things. That is human nature but does not make it right. All untoward activities however minor need to come with appropriate consequences. No one wants a budding criminal around them.

But he gave it back! Does it make it ok? No. Is it the end of the world when he gave it back? Also no.

It's hacking, as under the Computer Misuse act, hacking constitutes unauthorised account access that involves theft or malicious account damage.

So if a 10 year old took some money off the side and then gave it you back, you’d call the police?

I’m not disagreeing with you… but if the police had wanted to press charges in your examples and you said no (which is the sort of scenario we have with the OP reporting a crime and asking not to press charges) then the police might still have gone ahead.

You’re right that there are cases that will only be pursued if you want them to be - but the opposite isn’t true, you can’t stop the police.

I can’t, for example, report that I was mugged, find out it is all on cctv and the perpetrator is known to police and then force them to not press charges - if they have a strong enough case they’ll go on without me.

They might, however, ask me if I want to press charges and if I say no just deprioritise or close the case - but you if they want to press charges in the OP’s case, it’s tough luck if she doesn’t want that.

(They obviously won’t as criminalising 10 year olds for sharing passwords to games is in no one’s interest).

As in I got them to call each other and get it back while they were on the game. No the parent specifically said to me I dont give a f* they can sort it out between themselves. So I got my son to call him up and sort it out. And it was sorted. The police didn't come round for 4 days after it had occurred. But youre right in terms of me lying to myself about a relationship after the fact. But in my heart of hearts if my son had done the same thing id still wana be friends with them. But weve recieved no apology from either parents or children.

This.

The OP did the right thing in reporting this but it's astonishing she would expect to remain on friendly terms with the 'friend'.

The 'friend' sounds bat shit.

Nice bit of misogyny there.

Misogyny?

Well I can guarantee that is what happened. The first incident was a common assault against me, the second a minor vehicle collision hit and run with cctv evidence. Years in between them, totally different officers dealing with the cases. First time I was told they could either speak to the offender, give them a warning, or I could choose to press charges. Second time they said they don’t usually pursue these incidents, but as there’s cctv, I can choose to press charges and pursue to court.

Eh? It would be hysteria if OP was a man. I love the stretches on here. That’s a great one.

I just think in my head that all our kids have done wrong and weve never fell out over it. And i know if the shoe was on my foot and someone called the police on my son I wouldn't want to lose my friendship over something my sons done. But I think thats just me.

Yes I know all of that. My initial post was in response to @Velvetandleather saying you don’t get to choose if you press charges, when in actual fact, you can.

Well OP this is also a lesson for you, justified or not, that calling the police on someone or their child is friendship-ending.

The comparison of this to other more serious crimes is bizarre, nobody here is saying murder or burglary or anything would be given free rein. This kid has fell out with OP’s child and been very very silly but let’s be honest, kids make stupid mistakes like this all the time. A lot of children have committed minor (when compared to murder or burglary) crimes, in the eyes of the law. Their impulse control and concept of consequences is not well-developed, especially not at 10. The one good thing about OP calling the police is this child will hopefully think twice about his actions going forward.

Considering you did manage to resolve this situation eventually without police help shows that you didn’t actually need them and you’ve blown up a friendship in the process.

I have seen quite a few instances in our wider family of children not being held accountable/corrected for "minor activities" and they have all (without exception) gone on to larger criminal offences in adulthood.

It wasn’t over what your kids did, it was over you phoning the police

OP got the Roblox account and all the stolen stuff back

Only after she went to the police. She doesn't have a time machine. It's also quite possible that the other kids having their collars felt may be what motivated them to return the stolen software artifacts.

reporting your friends kid to the police is obviously going to impact the friendship regardless of who was wrong.

Where have I claimed otherwise?

Roblox is not the same as a house, or a car, or murder or any of the other dramatic crimes detailed on here.

• Show me where anyone on this thread has listed murder?
• Misusing computer access to steal is actually worse than stealing physical property as far as the law is concerned. Legally, there's no difference between getting unauthorised access to a Roblox account and getting unauthorised access to an NHS database full of identifiable medical data.

Tell me that you've never worked in IT without telling me...

I assume friend also refused to make her son transfer the Roblox items back or pay £45? If so, I think the friendship was over at that point.

@ThisHappyBiscuit Wait, so did the police come around before or after your son called him up and got the stuff returned?

I don't think I would take her lack of interest and saying let the boys sort it themselves as evidence that she'd be fine with me calling the police on her kid, tbh.

But then, they refused to do anything about it, didn't apologise, got aggressive with the police. I do wonder at you even wanting to continue a friendship with the likes of that. I know I wouldn't!

Why are you being so confrontational, rude, and hostile to everyone posting in support of the OP?