Continuing an AIBU …

[PithyBeaker]

Just continuing a thread I started a few days ago in AIBU for support as I figure out next steps ending my cohabitation.

Surely you can see there is something very, very wrong with him?

@PithyBeaker
If your son has a phone, does he have your son’s number? I would consider blocking it and deleting any messages.

It might sound silly , but I'm actually glad that he's showing you who he is by behaving this way during your break up. There's always a small allowance for shitty texts and whatnot after a separation , but he's exceeded that now. I just hope that he stops and you don't have to resort to contacting the police. As pps have said I think it's important to tell him that his messages and calls are not welcome then block him as soon as you can.

I agree regarding autism , you can be both autistic and a shitty person. Your ex is behaving like a child op , and he should know better.

We're all supporting you from afar op , I hope he leaves you alone and that you and your son have a happy life. You both deserve that.

you're rewriting history again. but you can think what you want, it doesn't matter because i'm not going to talk about this with you anymore. you need to collect the rest of your things.

send and repeat as needed.

💯 nobody worry. It’s all so shameless and repellent and very clear he doesn’t actually give a shit about me. Just said I lack empathy and maybe AI could explain it to me. I’m done.

OP, something RedToothBrush said at 13.47:

If he turns up again unwanted, he's firmly into the category of harassment and you need to tell him (preferably in writing) this very clearly and very bluntly because that's crossing the line into legal relevance.
He isn't taking no for an answer.
I echo what others say about potential for him to get nasty quickly. Be prepared. Know what you need to do just in case.

There may a time soon when you will have to get really serious about reconsidering contact. He's moving fairly quickly through this at the moment.

Wow!

“You have no empathy. Please marry me and let me and my kids live with you.”

Yes this. He would stoop that low. Protect your son.

You could use that time honoured phrase from our late Queen recollections may vary. Goodbye

This is important. He's already made noises about involving your son.

And disinvite he and his kids to the birthday party. You can't trust him to not involve your son or ruin the occasion by badgering you.

I was about to say something similar, Greenhampster.

My exH spent months going through the different cycles (and actually continued, on and off, over a number of years).

Ignoring all the emotive waffle/guilting/blaming and repeating only the core message when necessary is in the end the only way to go.

Reporting continued unwanted contact as harassment is sensible after a certain point.

Pithy is doing extraordinarily well, it's only day 3! I'm confident she will get there, and probably a lot quicker than I did. If only I'd been on Mumsnet back then...

You have no empathy?

You who have housed him and his feral offspring for 5 years for free?

Unbelievable.
So glad you are rightly getting the ICK.

That was an impressive nail for his coffin.

This!

Also, 'I am now only interested in a FWB arrangement, but you should have come running to talk to me and work out how to fix things last night' 🤣🙄

He is desperate to get you to house him and take care of his kids. It's really good you are staying strong
He will carry on then one day vanish and you will discover he got his feet under some other poor sod's table.

Could you give him a date (soon!) by which time he has to collect all of his belongings? Anything left after that date will be donated? Then block him on everything. His constant messaging won't help you move on.

How shortsighted is he!!!

What a shame he turned into taker and user. Time for him to stand on his own 2 feet.

You did the right thing Op, he didn't respect you.

"Just said I lack empathy"

😂

Every accusation is a confession.

Just said I lack empathy and maybe AI could explain it to me.

Bloody hell! I've read some right humdingers during my time on the Relationship board but that's right up there 😮

He earns £100+k and can't afford to marry you?

How does he think the other 99% of people living in the UK manage to get married?!

It's so ridiculous it's funny.

Working out is THE BOMB for heartbreak. Stick a mantra in there as well and it’s just the best thing ever - lovely endorphins 😍

Does anyone remember a previous thread where the woman (no kids) had a cocklodger with kids? She was paying for everything. He even wanted her to pay for his kids' school fees. She eventually got him to move out. Then he started showing up at her young nephew's sporting events etc. They had had a skiing holiday booked (annual event with her family). After the split she changed the dates due to work commitments. The day before she was flying home he turned up with his kids like nothing had happened, clearly expecting to stay at her family's chalet. Beggars belief!

@PithyBeaker What a knob. Grey rock is definitely the way forward.
Or maybe agreeing - yes I am truly a terrible person. Good job we’re not together any more. And then grey rock.

Just be aware that one of the things on The Script is often that there are threats of self harm / suicide.

If he threatens either of those things, you must phone 999 immediately. Any threats like that must be taken seriously.
However, it is also part of The Script.

Forgive me if this has already been asked and answered, but I haven't been able to find OPs first thread.
Where did he have the children 50/50 before he moved in with OP?