Abandoned at Easter!!!

[TheFunDog]

Abandoned at Easter!!!

Dp and I usually have a little break in the uk at easter with his 2dc and their families.
Last week the break was canceled by the company, so I thought we might find another break. But his 2 dc have decided to meet up somewhere else together and I thought that's OK, me and my dp can do our own thing...... but dp has now decided to join his dc and im left on my own for easter.

Aibu to feel abandoned??

JustGiveMeReason

Mostly correct apart from OP wasn't invited to the second venue.

Ugh, what a massive annoying drip feed!

OP, I don't know why you're actually bothered about a man who happily used you as "an excuse" to not see his children when they were younger and presumably needed him.
What a prince he sounds!

Leave him to it .

We have a long term relationship...
In the early years he was happy to use me so he didn't have to spend time with them too much, but as they've got older and easier to be with and have children he enjoys being with them more.

At least, this hasn't come as a shock to you.

Your partner is a selfish waste of space, and you have known this for a very long time.

And you didn’t think this context was importantly at the beginning? MN never fails to baffle me.

Sorry, I would be absolutely delighted. Long baths, see friends, go for a walk or a shop, read, snack instead of cook for anyone else, chocolate eggs and the TV remote to myself, even if to leave the TV off.

4 days of precious alone time doesn't happen often, make the most of it!

Edit. Apologies replied before saw about the falling out. Oh well, makes my points pretty hollow then. Sorry OP.

What was the falling out about?

He is treating you very badly so do you think he really cares about you and your feelings?

It’s Easter not Christmas! I’m home alone DH & DS are both working, I’m loving time to myself!

Apologies.
Yes, you are right.

However, last line now reads

'Even if OP were invited, she wouldn't have gone'

No I respected how the OP refers to him and as she said they usually have a little break at Easter with his adult children, it's just good comprehension to realise they've been together longer than 'dating for 5 minutes'

What I infer from it is that you don't respect others choices. They haven't chosen to get married, that doesn't make them boyfriend /girlfriend if they have chosen to be partners.

I haven't targeted you 🤣🤣 I've been replying when YOU have tagged me. Don't tag me & I won't respond to your posts, quite simple really.

And STOP being so offensive! I have already told you that your INCORRECT comments saying I have a problem with Dads spending time with their adult children was hurtful, yet you repeat your nonsense.

there is no one I'd rather be spending Easter with than my Dad, but he died so I can't. So get lost with your stupid comments about me thoughts about Adult children & their Dads spending time together.

OP he doesn't sound very nice, I would rethink this relationship.

I hope you are independent, have a job, your own money, assets etc. as you call him partner rather than husband.

I get the impression that the children don't like you that much so if anything were to happen to him they would be straight after any inheritance.

It would be very foolish to imagine he has thought of you in his will if he has one.

Use this time to get organised and protected, even if you stay together at least you should have peace of mind.

If you end this then I would tell the children that it wasn't you that stopped him seeing them, it was him as he couldn't be arsed to parent them. I would stop being his scape goat.

Sorry but I absolutely envy you. A lovely long weekend to myself sounds like heaven. My DH has been out of work for months (thankfully not for much longer) and I crave a day indoors to myself. Try and enjoy it .

The main issue for me is that there has been a big falling out between me and DP family

epic drip!

This ^^

OP you said he was a user. Prepare for the way someone like that behaves. Accept you’ve been made the villain with his DCs. Start prioritising and protecting your needs…..perfect time to gather documents etc..

Abandoned? Isn't a whole weekend to yourself, doing what you want to do, eating what you want to eat, watching what you want to watch on TV, reading what you want to read...heaven sent?

Have a heart @TooPoor4PandaPooTea. OP has spent ages thinking she was going away with her DP and his kids and has just been told they have made new plans and she isn’t invited. She’s allowed to be upset.

No way would i want a family holiday with someone’s had a massive falling out with. I mean Op… get real. The very fact you considered a big family holiday in a confined space as an appropriate time to build bridges is very odd.

Throw in you neglecting to mention this fall out on your Op… and I’m thinking that you’re probably pretty annoying in RL

Yep. Not sure why Op is complaining that she’s been abandoned when she’s said she wouldn’t have gone if invited.

Perhaps her DP knew that so didn’t bother inviting. He’s allowed to spend time with hiS children without OP, especially when there’s been some drama.

Haven't you got adult children with him too?

In the bin with him, OP.

This really limits the dating pool especially for women who have never had their own children!

OP I had one like this. I was never ever the priority even after his children grew up. He's an exDP now. I got utterly sick of it. The comment about being an affair partner very much reasonated.

What was the fallout about with his children op?

I can’t get past that any woman would have any interest whatsoever in a man who didn’t see his children because they weren’t fun enough when they were younger. What a thoroughly shit father. Raise your bar.

The fact that he wouldn't spend time with his kids when they were younger was your red flag - the man is a deadbeat dad. No doubt he enjoys the status of "grandpa" now and being treated with deference as an elder by the children, who no longer need his time and energy as a responsible dad. This is why he's spending time with them, because there's no emotional (and probably financial) toll on him. You should have seen the red flag all those years ago and ran at that point. Now you know, get your trainers on.

A lot of mistresses women would be delighted with this. She's probably only critical now because she's being left out.